Episode 5x09 "How To Succeed in Business"

John Adams High has apparently instituted a "work study program". We don't get any more detail than that. Our heroes are working in the mail room for a big advertising agency, and, naturally, Shawn is goofing off while Cory takes his mail-sorting duties very seriously.  There's another guy in here, real old fellow who's been working in this mail room for 43 years. He's supposed to serve as this ominous "you better impress somebody and get promoted or you'll end up like me" symbol, and hey, it's working. He must have Alzheimer's though, because he did have another job as the original announcer of Oahu Beach Face Savers Presents Knowledge Fever in 4x19.

Shawn comments that he likes this old guy, and Cory's smug, stupid self explains how he himself should be Shawn's role model, not this old guy. Indeed, this corporate world is Cory's "essence", or so he claims.

Look at 'im, wearin a t-shirt with a sweater vest... He's worn that almost every episode this season and it makes him look him a chump.

Upstairs on the senior management floor, we see a sign on the wall that reads "Keller-Marsden Advertising". I can't find anyone with the name Keller involved in the show, although April Kelly was one of the creators, and we can only hope that the other name is a throwback to Jason Marsden. As they deliver the mail, a phone rings at an empty desk, setting today's plot in motion.

Shawn handles an angry client with a surprising level of skill, and the vice president of the company overhears the conversation. His "temp didn't show up today" and so he wants Shawn to replace him. I don't know jack about business, but if you ask ten VP's how they would feel about Shawn answering that phone, you would probably get ten different answers, so I'm willing to accept that this is possible.

At home, Eric (why is Eric even here?) interrupts his mother watching a soap opera, telling her that she desperately needs to get a life and go do something productive.

Amy is compelled to go do... something. This is one of those shots that you probably have to be in the biz to understand. We know there's a TV in the living room, they could have easily done this scene on the couch, so why do it in the kitchen with this tiny little TV? I could throw out some guesses, but for the most part it's a mystery.

Back at Keller Marsden, Shawn's still performing well. In fact, the VP has asked Shawn to put together a pitch for a toothpaste ad targeted toward teenagers. Shawn and Cory are the only teenagers working at this place, so it's still believable that he would ask for Shawn's ideas. Cory insists that a thorough depiction of bacteria and gingivitis is the angle to take, but Shawn's pretty sure he should do an ad about how fresh breath is sexy. As he heads into the VP's office, it's left ambiguous which direction Shawn's going to take. Does he trust himself more than he trusts Cory? That's a pretty interesting question.

Now we're in Eric and Jack's creative writing class, and Mrs. Amy Matthews arrives on the scene. She's not being weird or anything, and Jack thinks she's pretty cool, but Eric is extremely uncomfortable. Especially when she tries to make small talk with his girlfriend.

Girlfriend girl is played by Alissa Ann Smego, who didn't have many other roles, and actually "passed away unexpectedly" last October. That's a shame.

This looks promising though. We've really only explored the parent-child relationships with Alan, and now we get to see Eric interact with his mother.

Topanga is visiting Cory during her lunch break, and makes a comment about a senator, so her work-study has her in... DC... somehow... Either way, she's excelling the same way Shawn is, leaving Cory in the dust. Just before leaving, she comments that Cory should keep looking out for Shawn because "he really looks up to you." WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE! Cory and Topanga are like this inter-dependent conceit-monster. They are disgustingly self absorbed this season. She leaves, though, and is quickly replaced by Shawn, who explains that he went with the sexy fresh breath idea, and it was well received. So he did trust himself more than Cory, and that's great to see. As he turns to leave again, Shawn comments "I guess you're not the only one with good ideas."

That's awesome that Shawn realizes that he can have good ideas, that he doesn't have to rely on Cory. My only gripe is that we already saw Shawn's aptitude for business in the Bed 'n Breakfast episode. Even Feeny said that Shawn had a future there, and now they won't even mention it. Can anybody think of a good reason why that is? Why don't they even mention it? 

The creative writing class claps for Eric as he finishes reading his work, and it's Amy's turn up next. Her story is the seemingly non-fictional account of her honeymoon. "Alan walked toward me and I began to tremble" is where Eric starts to freak out, and the scene fades over to Keller-Marsden before we get any of the juicy details. So the question becomes, can Eric see his mother as a person, a human, a wife, instead of just seeing her as his mommy.

The last four paragraphs started with T. This one makes 5. That's not very good. Try to diversify your writing, folks. Trust me on that.

It's time for Cory to answer a ringing phone, but he screws it all up. The client gets pissed and threatens to move his account to another agency, leaving Cory to get fired. At home, Alan tries to console his curly haired son, but it's extremely hard for me as a viewer to feel any kind of sympathy for this guy.

They must be trying to make us hate Cory. What a terrible person. Alan seriously underreacts by telling his son to give Shawn "a little more credit". We were primed and ready for an Alan Matthews Lesson here, but it didn't happen. Shawn shows up a little later, having recovered the account that Cory almost lost as well as convincing the VP to re-hire Cory. Wow, Cory absolutely does not deserve this guy as a best friend. Damn it, this paragraph started with T too.

Unfortunately for Cory, he's gotta work as a janitor now. He's janitoring the senior management floor when Shawn comes over with the finished toothpaste ad.

Shawn is 100% humble about the whole thing, and seems genuinely distressed that his best buddy is stuck working as a janitor. This episode is making me question my shipping of Cory and Shawn... It's starting to seem like a one-way relationship.

At The Apartment, Eric is swappin spit with his girlfriend from class. The audience manages to withhold their "oooOOOOoo" this time, which I always appreciate. Jack comes home with Amy in tow, since she's going to help him with the current writing assignment.

I feel like with a lot of these gifs, some of the impact is lost since Eric's inflection is important to a lot of his jokes, but either way it's still funny.

Eric yells that college is supposed to be his time, untainted by the presence of his parents. Amy loves her son and doesn't want to make him uncomfortable, even though she really wants to write. So she goes home, leaving Jack to, I don't know, flounder his way through the assignment. Jack is the real victim here.

At home, Feeny gives an Emmy deserving performance as he reads some of Amy's work. It wouldn't translate to a gif at all, so be sure to check that out around 16 minutes. The Eric story comes to a close now, as he comes downstairs and tells his mother to come back to class because she's a good writer. Well that wasn't as profound as I'd hoped for. I mean, she was reading stories out loud about having sex with his father. I really can't blame Eric for being uncomfortable.

As Cory and Topanga arrive at The Apartment for a dinner with Shangela, we discover that Cory has been blatantly lying to Topanga about work when she comments "I know it's awkward for you to be doing so much better than Shawn". I hate you, Cory. Inside, the ruse starts to fall apart when Shawn gets a fax on the machine the company gave him.

Let's all jot down in our Boy Meets World notebooks that we have definitive proof of Cory lying to Topanga. We're going to come back to that later in the season.

Next Shawn gets a call on his new cellphone, and Angela mentions that the company also give him a credit card, and Cory breaks. He shows Topanga that all he's received from the company is his ring of janitor's keys. I'm not sure why he has those right now. Anyway, everything comes to light now. Shawn says it feels really good that he's doing something on his own for once (forgetting about the B 'n B, of course), and he's overall calm and level-headed and understanding. He really is a way better friend than Cory deserves right now.

YEAH SURE LET'S MAKE THIS ALL ABOUT CORY. Shut up, Topanga.

And there's also the slight issue that IT'S NOT THE FIRST TIME. Cory spent the entire second season being jealous of Shawn! That's what I fucking loved about this show, they were both screw-ups/failures who were both jealous of each other for different reasons, with different skillsets, trying to make their way together. But now the whole message is "Shawn is finally becoming as good as Cory," and nobody wants that. I sure don't. That being said, Shawn does go off in his own direction again in future episodes, but for right now, I don't like it.

During the credits, Amy reads a story about giving birth to Eric, and the second-hand embarrassment is so strong that I can barely even watch it.

Plot: 0.75 - I liked it for the same reason I liked the B 'n B episode. It's fun to watch Shawn be good at things. And because I hate Cory right now, it was also fun to watch him fail.

Character Development: 1.0 - Even though the "I'm as good as you!" thing pisses me off, Shawn is making progress with his lack of self worth.

Humor: 0.75 - Once again, Eric deserves a lot of the credit. The old guy was funny too.

Life Lesson: 0 - Don't be like Cory. That's this review's life lesson, don't be like Cory. But as for this episode, I can't really think of anything.

2.5 out of 4.0. It definitely felt more like a sitcom than the last two episodes, without all the TRUE LOVE crap. That made it enjoyable for me, not having to deal with all that crap I hate. But "You don't have all that crap I hate" wouldn't really sell at Hallmark. And honestly, looking back, when does Cory succeed without Shawn? When are all these times that Cory keeps talking about? Yeah Shawn screws up most of the time, but either Cory screws up too or he's not even involved. They took that relationship inferiority complex from the last two episodes, and tried to expand it into an overall inferiority complex, and it doesn't really match up with the history. But then, it never does.

Thanks for reading, see you Wednesday.

All images used under Fair Use.