Episode 5x04 "Fraternity Row"

Hi everybody. It took me longer than I expected to get settled, but I'm finally ready to go. Sorry for being off the radar. Did you know that that "bmw vs gmw" podcast has like 360 facebook likes? I've got less than 20. It doesn't really faze me since I get a couple hundred readers every week, but it just kinda... sucks. I might just delete the facebook page, I don't use it anyway. Regardless, I've still got this http://i.imgur.com/3GSb5bH.jpg

Let's move on.

Jack's out in the hallway of his apartment building in a beach chair "studying", but really just trying to talk to girls who walk by, and it's actually working. Eric comes up the elevator and is looking absolutely darling today.

Ahyuk-hyuk-hyuk. Eric's going about his crazy antics while Jack throws us a quip to point out just how crazy those antics are. Four episodes and I'm already bored with this dynamic. They tried, and I give them credit for trying, but it's just not interesting. We know Eric's antics are crazy. We've been watching them for four seasons already, and we love them. I don't need some kinda Jack Hunter to tell me what's goin on. But I have a feeling that's what I'll be getting for a long time.

So yeah Eric decided to pledge to some stupid fraternity and they made him wear that dress. Cory and Shawn show up in the elevator just as Eric and Jack go inside. Shawn meets a pretty blonde girl named Jennifer, so that's two pretty girls in like 30 seconds coming down this hallway. It's the place to be, man. Move over, Chubbie's.

Shawn is holding the textbook Jack left in the hallway, Introduction to Western Philosophy, so Jennifer sees it and flirtatiously promises to save Shawn a seat in class tomorrow.

In Feeny's class... the same day...? Was it morning just now? It would have to be, but then why was everybody coming home? I don't know. Anyway Feeny tells the class that they've forgotten the basics about writing papers, grammar-wise and such, and tells Shawn to start applying himself, but Shawn maintains his self destructive attitude.

Shawn's sort of jumped into the IS HE GONNA GO TO COLLEGE? void that Eric left behind at the end of season 4, and I'm okay with it. You know why? Because they built up to it. I slam a lot of stuff on this show for coming out of nowhere, but look, when they actually build up to these things it's perfectly fine, even if it's the same sort of arc as last time. An interesting difference though is that Eric was more about overcoming his present self, while Shawn is going to be about getting over his past.

Back at Pennbrook, Eric's handing out fliers for a fraternity party at his apartment, and Jack shows up and explains why THIS IS SUCH A BAD IDEA. "The Dean" comes out of his office like "why the fuck is everybody on campus handing out fliers", and I really wish I knew the answer to that question. I would always put my earbuds in and stare at the ground while I walked past those people, "don't look don't look don't look don't look". I hate fliers. Anyway Eric claims that his fraternity is Magnum Pi, since some kid walks past in a Magnum P.I. shirt. The Dean doesn't question further and Jack points out to Eric how bizarre The Dean is. So it's not just Eric, every character in this show now exists as fodder for Jack's one-liners.

At John Adams, Cory's trying to write an excuse "from Shawn's parents" since Shawn is cutting class, but he can't remember how to spell his name.

So that's pretty funny. Feeny comes in asking Cory where Shawn is, and it fades over to a college classroom that actually looks like a brand new set. It's certainly not a $5 makeover of Chubbie's like we're used to. Shawn walks in and joins Jennifer in the front row of desks, and the professor begins discussing "Buridan's paradox", a thought experiment that's actually called "Buridan's ass", but they've replaced the donkey with a dog. Anyway Shawn makes some interesting points about the paradox and sort of lucks his way into an impressive answer,  and the professor wants to probe further.

That always gives me a good chuckle.

When I was younger I thought this was nonsense, but in college it's hilarious how often people walk into class that you've never seen before. Anyway Shawn's working on a philosophy paper (a biography of Schopenhauer) at John Adams the next day or later the same day, whatever, instead of working on Feeny's assignment. Cory comments that Shawn is making a huge effort to impress Jennifer, but Shawn explains that he is actually really enjoying this philosophy stuff and that he's good at it. We can look back to B&B's B 'n B in season 4 for another example of Shawn's passion and excitement when he finds something he's good at and enjoys. And it makes me excited to see it. This also raises a bigger point about students whose skills lie outside the high school curriculum. They're just sort of doomed to mediocrity and being labeled a failure because they aren't interested in the "core" subjects at school.

Topanga and Minkus are monkeys, while Shawn is more like the fish. Actually, Minkus might be the bird. Cory is probably the dog.

Feeny's class begins, but Shawn remains in the hallway to work on his paper. Feeny starts punishing Cory for covering for Shawn, and eventually the whole class (which is insane) until they all point to where Shawn is out in the hall. Shawn claims to be exercising his "free will", and so Feeny suspends him on the spot.

At the apartment, The Dean shows up (every scene with The Dean is absurd) and threatens to expel Jack and Eric if their fraternity turns out to be fake. That's pretty extreme, but The Dean is clearly out of his mind. In the heat of the moment, Eric claims that the frat is funded by celebrity alumni, and Jack fumbles out that the alumni are Ted Lange and Bernie Kopell from the show The Love Boat, which ran for 10 seasons from 1977 to 1987. I have never seen it. The Dean says he looks forward to meeting them at the fraternity party. At this point I have absolutely no investment in this sidestory. It's dumb. And it's stupid. And it's dumb. Eric's not really even funny.

Now we're back in college.

That sounds like something modern day Rider Strong would say in real life. This might actually be the reason I looked up Nietzsche for the first time, and his work has had a considerable effect on me. Thanks Boy Meets World.

Yes please.

Cory quickly sneaks into this class too now to convince Shawn to go talk to Feeny. It's not really working, and then the professor calls on Cory to discuss life and existence. Cory's response to being called on is "oh my god I've been hit", which is hilariously realistic. It looks like Cory's going to luck into an answer the same way Shawn did, but the professor throws it back in his face, which is pretty funny. Teach hands back the papers the students wrote, and at this point the charade would surely fall apart as Shawn is not in the system to receive his grade, but it's fine. Shawn got an F on his paper because it was written so poorly, a callback to "learning the basics" that Feeny was talking about in his class earlier. Shawn storms out of class because that's what he does, and Cory follows soon after because that's what he does. The whole scene is funny and well written, the professor especially. He's played by the late Julius Carry, who hasn't done anything else I recognize, but he does come back to Boy Meets World in season 7.

Now it's time for Eric's frat party, which is literally just 20 girls and Eric and Jack drinking SODAS in their apartment. This might be the single worst offender of breaking reality in the series. Worse than the time travel episodes. Welcome to ABC. And then The Dean just walks into the apartment and starts yelling at Eric and Jack, because it's a sitcom and the law doesn't matter. Eric is scared and redeems himself in the humor category.

Matthew Lawrence is trying desperately not to laugh there, and I don't blame him.

Jack's not worried though because he's rich. He calls in the guys from The Love Boat and everybody stands around looking at them while the audience cheers for like ten seconds. Ugh. This scene is probably a lot funnier if you watched Love Boat or anything else with these guys. Apparently Ted Lange played the bartender on the Love Boat, and keeps asking if he can make anyone a drink. It's tongue in cheek but still not funny, and it doesn't matter anyway because this party only has Cola brand Cola. The Dean isn't even impressed and still demands that Magnum Pi be closed down by the next morning, and then takes the Love Boat guys home to meet his mom. It's weird. The whole thing is weird.

When The Dean and the celebs leave, Eric and Jack have an orgy with all of the girls. That's the implication anyway.

In The Backyard, Shawn tries to reconcile with Mr. Feeny. He apologizes for being an assclown, and Feeny asks to see the paper he wrote about Schopenhauer.

And then they all hug it out over the prospect of Shawn going to college. Feeny promises to continue teaching "the basics" of writing, even though Mister Feeny is their history teacher.

Why do philosophers always have such complicated names? Where's the great Smith, founder of Smithology? I already know I'll never be a famous philosopher because my last name isn't very hard to spell.

But yeah, this is one of those scenes where we remember what an amazing teacher Feeny is. That's really what it's all about right there, engaging the students, using something they like to bring them into the lessons- adding a little water slide so the fish can climb the tree. It's beautiful.

During the credits, the Matthews family does some cringey shit with the Love Boat guys, I don't wanna talk about it.

Why the hell was this called Fraternity Row? That story was almost negligible. If they played up the "brotherhood" between Cory and Shawn I could understand, but... they didn't.

Plot: 1.0 - It's a great story, and easily relatable. What do we do when a student is fascinated by something outside the curriculum? How do we keep the attention of the students whose skills lie elsewhere? It's still a very important question today. That little cartoon I posted really sticks in my mind. The whole fraternity thing was stupid, but it only had like two total minutes of screen time, so I don't really even think about it.

Character Development: 1.0 - Shawn has a new passion that we'll probably never hear about again, but he also has a renewed drive to get into college. That's pretty significant for this season.

Humor: 0.75 - Eric really dropped the ball, except for "take my hand and pray". Cory did most of the heavy lifting for humor in this episode, which is still nice.

Life Lesson: 1.0 - Give the fish a water slide.

3.75 out of 4.0. Let's look at everything Shawn can do over the series so far: he made 1st string in basketball, he's good at theatre, he has exceptional social skills, he can speak French, he ran a popular radio show, extensive knowledge of pop culture, worked at his uncle's garage, he worked for the mob, has an aptitude for running a business, joined a cult, and now he has a passion for philosophy. What the hell has Cory done?

Thanks for reading. It's good to be back. See you Wednesday.

All images used under Fair Use.