Episode 3x11 "City Slackers"

It's Amy Matthews's birthday, so Mr. Feeny gives her a key to his cottage in the Poconos, so that she and her darling husband might enjoy a romantic getaway. They've already got birthday related plans this weekend, but another time, perhaps.

Shawn swipes the key and suggests to Cory that they sneak up to the cabin that weekend and do snowy mountain things.

At school, Eric lies to a girl to get a date with her, since she only dates jocks. What sport does he play, you ask? Well she asked too, so have some fucking patience. They're at Chubbie's, so he sees the pool table in the back and claims to be a grand master at the game. They approach the table so he can show off, but Frankie and Joey arrive and challenge him for the table. What was he going to do otherwise? He's not actually good...

This whole time I've been thinking to myself that I know I've seen that actress before, she's totally familiar, and now it hit me. Word of honor here, I haven't checked yet. But I'm 99% sure she plays Rita on Dexter. I'm so sure, it has to be. ... Okay, now I checked, it is in fact Julie Benz, the actress behind Rita. How bout that shit!

The next scene is at Feeny's cabin in the Poconos. The boys have arrived by the magic of Hollywood, and a man named Ranger Mark escorted them to the cabin believing them to be Feeny's grandsons. They make an incest joke, which was surprising, and then Ranger Mark tells them the legend of some serial killer named Grady. It's mostly a waste of time. It's okay though, Ranger Mark is played by Troy Evans, whose voice is absolutely hysterical here, it doesn't even matter what he's saying, and he was in 129 episodes of E.R. so that's cool.

The boys can't figure out how to turn on the electricity in the cabin. Wuh oh.

We're back at Chubbie's now for about a minute, and we see that both Eric and Frankie are actually really bad at pool. They've been playing for an hour and have sunk zero balls. This extreme ineptitude has attracted quite a crowd, including Eli. This guy is in more episodes than Topanga. I wanna know how he pulled that off.

Anyone else think that girl's face looks like a Salvador Dali painting? It's just the angle, it's kinda... weird... Anyway...

Back in the Poconos, Shawn and Cory have discovered that there's no one else around, and there isn't even any snow. Shawn managed to misinterpret the weather report, because that's just what he does. He heard "The Rocky Mountains" and thought that was just a general description for mountains, "you know, like chewy nougat," so Cory points out that they are in fact 2000 miles away from the Rockies. That is an oddly specific measurement to just pull out of your ass like that. He's not far off either, it's about 2200 miles away, but I had to look that shit up. I wouldn't even BEGIN to be able to tell you that off the top of my head. I guess Feeny's geography classes were the real fuckin deal after all.

Shortly thereafter, Feeny arrives with the intention to pack up the cabin so he can sell it (or maybe sell the stuff? I'm not sure), and is surprisingly not outraged at the young boys' trespassing. It's too late for Cory's parents to come get them, so it looks like they'll all be staying the night. There's no reason in the universe for Feeny to show up here this late, but whatever.

It's pool time again, and the crowd cheer every time Eric or Frankie misses a shot. It has now been three hours. Eric's date, I don't even know her name, bails since Eric is a huge loser. Then we get a montage of Eric and Frankie being bad at pool, which is honestly hilarious. I've seen this episode at least a dozen times, and this marathon billiards match is always funny. It just works on every level. Definitely one of my favorite gags in the entire series.

There's a pun there about "levels", but I'll leave it alone.

At Feeny's cabin, the man himself and Shawn are butting heads. They butt heads earlier in the episode too, so Shawn finally confronts him with a "Why do you hate me so much?" Mr. Feeny delicately explains that he only hates to see Shawn wasting his potential, and that he does in fact know quite a bit about the young man, including his affinity for the band Counting Crows. I would be lying if I said that I didn't go look them up the first time I saw this. I'd also be lying if I said that this scene didn't captivate my entire being. This is an absolutely beautiful conversation, my friends. We have seen maybe one or two instances of Feeny and Shawn building their relationship, so this is truly a treat. The dialogue is perfectly constructed, the acting is on point, it's just fantastic. This is some season 1 Feeny right here.

Put yourself in Shawn's shoes for a second. Your parents have abandoned you, Turner barely has any idea what he's doing, your best friend is falling in love, and pretty much everything is a mess. But now you learn that Mr. Feeny is looking out for you. Mr. Feeny has your back. He's rooting for you, he's in your corner. Can you even imagine how reassuring that is for Shawn? What's even better is that this is a revelation for the audience too! We know Feeny secretly loves Cory, but we haven't seen NEARLY that level of guidance toward Shawn. But now we've peeked beneath the surface. I absolutely love this scene. Top 10 in the series, no question.

Next, Cory knocks Feeny's wristwatch off the counter and down the sink's drain. That's a very Shawn thing to do, but Shawn just had his big moment so I'm glad the writers chose not to ruin that. Feeny is truly furious, but keeps it contained. Later that night, Cory wakes up to find Shawn reading Mr. Feeny's old diary, in particular a few entries describing very Shawn-like behavior. And then there's the one that breaks our hearts: Feeny's late wife, Lilian, bought him that wristwatch for their fifth anniversary many years before.

That shit right there. Damn, Feeny. You got a way with words.

The next morning we discover that Shawn and Cory have dug up the cabin's septic tank to retrieve Feeny's wristwatch. Far fetched, but it worked out, and we get another nice moment of unspoken connection between these characters. Feeny tells them to go wash the septicness off of them in the lake, which will surely result in their deaths since it's 20 degrees, but fine.

During the credits, Frankie leaves their 15 hour game of pool to go to choir practice, and then Eric sinks all the balls in one shot. 

Plot: 1.0 - The details of how exactly Shawn and Cory get to the cabin are a little shaky, but it's good overall, and the marathon billiards match is genius.

Character Development: 1.0 - The Shawn-Feeny connection gets a massive boost.

Humor: 1.0 - A lot of dialogue at the cabin was funny, especially Ranger Mark, and the entire pool match was hilarious.

Life Lesson: 1.0 - Get to know somebody before you start drawing conclusions. 

4.0 out of 4.0 - Fantastic episode all around. Nothin really bad I can say about it without being pedantic. This one honestly never gets old, I love it every time I watch it.

Thanks for reading, see you Friday.

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