Episode 3x09 "The Last Temptation of Cory"

The title sequence music is like a 15 year old's first guitar solo that they wrote all on their own.

Topanga's out sick and Cory gives her a call on that pay phone in the hallway after every class. When he hangs up he calls her "Topey", which is adorable. The two of them think this constant communication is sweet, but everyone else (including Shawn) thinks it's gag-worthy. A popular girl named Libby Harper comes up for some quick flirting with Cory, followed by some more quick small-talk from another popular girl named Missy Robinson.

I don't know why that 10 year old girl is sitting on that trash can, but even SHE is holding her notebooks that way. It's an epidemic.

So was that the last temptation of Cory? Or is there going to be more? That's suspense, people. Anyway Shawn explains that these girls want what they can't have, that Cory is significantly more attractive to them now that things are pretty serious with Topanga. That's the damn truth right there, Shawn actually knows what he's talking about today.

In Feeny's class (which, as always, is the same room as Turner's), Shawn and Cory are whispering about the Missy/Libby problem, when Feeny asks Cory what he was just saying. Cory claims that he was "too busy absorbing to listen." How 'bout Shawny Shawn?

You can see Ben Savage trying not to laugh there. The whole scene is pretty damn funny.

Class ends and Feeny tells them to choose partners for a project due next Friday, and makes the wise executive decision to split up Cory and Shawn. Some cute girl asks to be Shawn's partner, and Trini, played by the fabulous Brittany Murphy, tries to partner up with Cory since her best friend Toperingo is out sick.

Look at her body language. She really does an amazing job with this role. Like, there are a lot of awkward and annoying characters on television that are just painful to watch, but somehow Trini is endearingly awkward and annoying.

As Cory flees the scene, he is intercepted by Missy. Forced to choose between Trini and Missy for a partner, he goes for the one in the skirt. What a dog. That was a successful temptation on Missy's part. I hope that wasn't the last one.

At lunch, Feeny is collecting pledges for some sort of walk-a-thon from Turner and Eli. Feeny runs a con on Eli, saying how his joints hurt and stuff and Eli ends up pledging way too much. But who cares. Where's Eric? I want an Eric story, not this. On the other side of "the caf", Cory is eating with Missy with the intention of talking about their project, but she just wants to invite him to her party, which he accepts after some badgering. ANOTHER TEMPTATION. At home later, Cory tells Shawn about the party and goes off to ask Topanga if she's okay with him going to this party.

Eric replaces the family photo with a signed picture of Teddy "Beanbag" Bagwell, a fictitious baseball player who is only two hit-by-pitches away from the all time Major League record. Eric bought this picture for $200 in the hopes of turning a huge profit when Bagwell breaks the record. This is a pretty unique setup, honestly. That's pretty detailed for a side story.

The scene skips over to Topanga's room when Cory shows up. He tells her about the party and she encourages him to go because she's a reasonable human being and she trusts the person she loves. THANK GOODNESS. I was afraid of a "don't go" and then he sneaks, and then it's a thing. Whew, dodged a bullet. He promises to bring her back some ice cream after the party, and she requests "jimmies" on her ice cream. Is that a New England thing? Quantum Mechanics makes more sense to me than saying "jimmies" instead of "sprinkles." It just kinda wigs me out when people say it, I dunno.

This whole episode is a showcase of Cory's wit. Let's see, who wrote this... Susan Meyers and Judy Toll. They definitely know how to write Cory. Toll died in 2002 of melanoma, prompting a documentary to be produced by her brother in 2007 called "Judy Toll: The Funniest Woman You've Never Heard Of." Well don't worry, Judy Toll's brother, we've heard of her, and we acknowledge her greatness.

BTW Missy's party is a makeout party for just her, Cory, Libby, and Shawn. Woopsies.

Heyyyyyyyyyyyy we've been here before. Melissa threw a party here in 2x05. The decorations are different though, I just checked. YEAH THAT'S RIGHT I CHECKED. EXCUSE ME FOR BEING THOROUGH. Also it's amazing how much Cory's voiced has changed since then. I'm unsettled by the fact that both Cory and Shawn are wearing white+honey mustard yellow. Maybe I'm just doing it wrong, I have literally never worn yellow on a date. It can't possibly be okay...

Quick tangent, Missy is played by Elisabeth Harnois, who had a shaky but consistent career from age five up to 2011, when she a big break! She got the role of Morgan Brody on CSI, one of the main characters on the CSI team, and has had that role ever since. Right on. Libby is played by Lindsey McKeon, who has had a bunch of ~10 episode recurring roles, but also had the role of Katie Peterson on... "Saved By the Bell: New Class".......? That's a thing...? That shit had SEVEN SEASONS from 1993 to 2000. How can that be...

So anyway Libby seduces Shawn pretty quickly.

Libby is being about as direct as you can be without actually tearing clothes off, but Cory is displaying a truly gargantuan level of self control. Talking on the couch isn't working, so Libby goes for plan b: dancing to romantic music.

 Wuh oh, it's past 9 o'clock, so Cory takes the phone into the close to call Topanga and let her know he's coming with her ice cream. Missy follows him into the closet and starts like, nibbling on his ear, and then kisses him after he hangs up the phone. Missy's dad comes home so Cory and Shawn make a mad dash outta there. Okay, I'm pretty sure THAT was the last temptation.

Back at the Matthews house, Eric is watching baseball in the hopes that Bagwell will get hit by some more pitches, but instead he announces that he's retiring. Alas.

We're at Chubbie's now as Cory and Shawn arrive to get Topanga's ice cream because where else were they going to get it. Then Topanga also arrives because she "needed to get out of the house", which is just annoyingly convenient, but fine. Ultimately Cory confesses that he "accidentally kissed" Missy.

Nothing bad really comes out of it though, he just explains what happened. During the credits, Eli realizes that he got conned. Woo hoo.

Plot: .75 - Yeah it was fine.

Character Development: .5 - Relationship stuff I guess.

Humor: 1.0 - Great showing from Cory, not really anybody else though.

Life Lesson: .5 - Don't kiss other girls when you have a girlfriend.

2.75 out of 4.0. Sorry for the hasty conclusion. My attention is required elsewhere.

Thanks for reading, see you Monday. 

All images used under Fair Use.