Episode 3x04 "He Said, She Said"

Mr. Feeny's got some fruit/gift baskets. He explains to Eli that these baskets are from seniors, trying to bribe Feeny into writing better letters of recommendation for them. Has any college ever asked for a recommendation for undergraduate study? How could that possibly be worth anything? Whatever.

I will never understand these students' compulsion to hangout and study next to that big trash can behind Eli. Most of the time somebody's leaning on it. Baffling.

The esteemed principal strolls into Turner's classroom, presumably minutes before class starts as only a few students are seated, and informs Mr. Turner that Shawn Hunter missed his history exam that morning. Cory claims that Shawn's absence is due to being sick with "Hong Kong Sloth". Somehow Turner sees through Cory's deception, stating "That's it" as he walks out of the class, and then it cuts to him walking into his apartment to confront Shawn. Am I crazy or is that really irresponsible? He was about to teach a class. I always tell myself that Turner did a good job dealing with Shawn, but that... that wasn't good.

Anyway, Turner is tired of Shawn's shit and tells him he has to see a guidance counselor the next morning. Shawn is not on board with this plan.

Hey look, Shawn's hair isn't an abomination anymore. That's a relief.

This is good though, the most we've seen of Shawn this season is when he was trying to get to second base with that girl. Looks like we've got something more interesting here.

The next morning, Shawn and Cory meet the new guidance counselor, a perky woman in her 30s, played by an actress that I looked up but then forgot her name because she didn't do anything else. Her office was Feeny's office in the previous episode, and a bathroom in season 2. Where does the school find the budget for these renovations. And hey, the payphone is gone! Dammit, Boy Meets World.

Meanwhile, Eric approaches our old boy Griffin Hawkins and his trusty sidekick Frankie the Enforcer to purchase some stolen Feeny-stationary, the kind he uses to write letters of recommendation. Eric asks where they got it and Frankie answers "Let's just say it fell off a truck." The audience sort of half-laughs at that, it's pretty weak, and then this is never mentioned again. It's a bizarre sort of joke to make, I mean, did it actually fall off a truck? That sounds like the kind of thing that leads into "No, really, where?" "It fell off a truck." Or maybe it's a reference to a movie...? I dunno. It's odd.

I already loved Griff, but this just exchange just cemented it. He's a better thug than Harley in every way, and obviously a better actor. That's strangely relevant though, since Joey the Rat runs up and pulls Frankie aside to tell him that Harley is planning to bust out of his reform school and come back to John Adams High. Joey learned this while he was "surfing the internet, verbally pounding people", and he got a message from Harley. So there you have it folks. Joey the Rat invented internet trolling. I'm honestly stunned that the writers had the insight for that sort of joke all the way back in 1995. Awesome. Regardless, the two lackeys realize that only bad things can come from their former leader meeting their current leader.

Now we're privy to Shawn's meeting with the new guidance counselor. He explains that he's feeling lost, and the counselor's counseling contains the story of her trip to Europe to "find herself". Shawn's wearing that weird Atlas holding up an apple shirt again. I know it seems weird that I keep mentioning that, but he's honestly worn it like ten times now. That's unusual, for any show.

Back in the hallway it's Feeny+Eli again. Eli says his students wanted Mr. Feeny to narrate some of their video projects and Feeny agrees. I guess it'll be important later because it's not even remotely interesting to watch. The camera pans over to Frankie and Joey discussing how they've alerted Harley's reform school to his plan to pull a Shawshank Redemption, but it's too late. Harley's already broken out.

That is probably the funniest thing Frankie's ever said. He's talking to Joey, if that's not clear, saying "let's review this foolproof plan of yours." Witty. It's interesting how binary these guys are. Most of their jokes so far this episode haven't landed, but then other times like this it's just spot on. I think they're always at their best when they're being witty, like in 3x01 when they were selling tickets. Also, it's great to see the original Harley again. If you'll recall, they tried to give us that shitty replacement Hollister model Harley for an episode, and everybody in the studio knew it didn't work. It's good to have our boy back. Anyway, Joey's pager (required in the Griff administration) goes off, alerting Harley to the existence of their new leader, and the greasy haired man wants blood. It's kind of adorable, honestly, that he's so protective of his old lackeys. 

Somehow, Shawn has arranged a rendezvous with his best friend at Chubbie's at five in the morning. It's obviously nonsense but there's no reason to dwell on it. Shawn explains his plan to run away to Europe, Cory tries to talk him out of it, but as you should know by now, that's never gonna work. 

Back at the Matthews house, Eric is finishing up his forged letter of recommendation on the black market stationary. There's some really forced humor that doesn't stick at all, and then Alan rips up his son's forgery. Is that the end of that plotline? Why did Eric want the letter in the first place? What college has he even considered applying to? It's hilarious that Griff is running a black market for this stuff, but Eric doesn't really have any use for it right now. They probably wanted to do it later in the season, but this is the last episode with Griff for whatever reason, so I guess it was now or never.

In the hallway at school, Eli informs Feeny that the students have chosen Eli to do the voiceover for their projects, instead of Feeny. The principal is heartbroken and then they walk away from each other. And that's it. That's the end of that story. "Hey Feeny do some voiceover. Nah, I'm doin it instead." The writers felt like that was an okay thing to do. It wasn't funny or even relevant to anything at all. *scratches head* I dunno guys.

Cory runs into Turner's class to tell him Shawn's Stupid Shit Of The Day. Turner queries the guidance counselor and learns about her Europe story and puts 2 and 2 together. Even though Cory already knew everything. So that was unnecessary.

Finally the time has come for the high noon showdown between Harley Keiner and Griffin Hawkins, while Frankie and Joey watch in nail biting suspense. The two ringleaders have some comic book-esque witty banter, including the first direct insult toward Harley's bizarre grammar. I'm glad someone finally said something. Harley orders Frankie to commit an act of battery against Griff, but Frankie realizes his best option is to quit being a lackey for anybody, and he convinces Joey to do the same.

I told ya about that bromance. That's that real shit. Also, now that Griff is gone forever, I want to say again how incredible it is that Adam Scott had trouble finding steady roles for so long. This scene was one of his best, and it's blatantly obvious that he's just on a completely different level. Ah well. At least he's famous now. Harley's gone as well, but fear not, there is more of Frankie and Joey yet to come. But yeah, I've watched this scene so many times. I love it.

So that was by far the best plotline out of the four in this episode. Eric's was ultimately meaningless and Eli/Feeny's was entirely meaningless. Time to find out if Shawn is going to Europe.

He's not.

Thanks for reading, see you Wednesday.


Turner finds Shawn at the bus station with a ticket to Paris, TX. Shawn thought the TX "stood for tax". The two have a heart-to-heart and the English teacher explains to his young ward that he can come to him with these life problems of feeling lost, and that he cares about him and stuff, and Turner agrees to take Shawn to Europe over the summer if Shawn can get his grades up and stop skipping class. It's well written and, taken alone, it's a good ending, but in the context of the rest of the episode it's nonsense. To quote Mr. Turner, "how come you didn't come and talk to me about it?" GEE, I DON'T KNOW MR. TURNER, MAYBE BECAUSE YOU ORDERED HIM TO TALK TO THE GUIDANCE COUNSELOR. Neither of them seems to remember Turner's unwillingness to talk things through at the beginning of the episode.

 During the credits, Turner and the guidance counselor have eye sex while Shawn and Cory hash things out in the hall.

There was a whole lot crammed into this. Feeny+Eli should have been discarded completely, in favor of some more focus on Shawn. Maybe another session with the counselor. Anything to make it seem like he put more than five minutes of thought into going to Europe. Hell, Eric's plan to go backpacking in Europe with Jason back in season 2 got more attention than this. Eric's story was fun, and its primary purpose was to remind the audience that Griff exists and that he's still leading Frankie and Joey. After that, it fell pretty flat. On that note, though, the Griff vs Harley storyline is one of my favorite setups so far. Frankie and Joey have changed a lot since their introduction, and their new senses of self worth as independent non-lackeys parallels Shawn's desire to find himself, so it really just works from every angle.

Plot: 0.75 - Carried by the Enforcer and the Rat.

Character Development: 1.0 - Joey and Frankie, obviously, and even though Shawn has about fifty more crises like this, we can at least pretend that he made some progress.

Humor: 0.5 - The chemistry between Feeny and Eli is completely non existent. Every joke between them is a flop. The audience seems to think the guidance counselor is funny, but I think she's just hard to watch.

Life Lesson: 0 - Don't run away to Europe and don't be a lackey? I don't fuckin know.

2.25 out of 4.0. This season hasn't been scoring well so far. It feels a lot more sitcommy and less Boy Meets Worldy than season 2, and even season 1. And honestly, I've gotta chalk that up to the near-elimination of Alan from the show. Alan did so much to make this show powerful in the first two seasons, and they've abandoned it in favor of... I don't really know what. And what the fuck does the title have to do with anything.

Thanks for reading, see you Wednesday. I mean it this time.

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