Episode 2x02 "Pairing Off"

Looks like Disney and ABC decided to bring down the hammer on Youtube. Pretty much every episode of BMW is gone from there. (I'm watching the DVDs but still.)

This episode kicks off with two 90s looking teens making out in the hallway. They are easily identifiable as such because the guy has a necklace and a giant sweater, the girl's blouse is made out of denim, and their mouths are smushing together. It lasts forever and Cory and Shawn voyeur the fuck out of it while some girl in the background is havin a grand ol' time talkin to absolutely nobody.

Our heroes see another couple tongue-dancing, inspiring Cory to find a partner for himself. Shawn is pretty neutral about it, which is intriguingly uncharacteristic. Topanga comes along and Cory turns on his 12 year old swagger. She plays the "let's not ruin our friendship" card, but she explains it in a not-bullshit way that actually made it feel refreshingly genuine. 

I just noticed that this season breaks to and returns from commercials with electric guitar riffs instead of the flute and trumpet from last season. Edgy.

Cory and Shawn are in "health" class, which is something new and exciting, but we'll never see it again. They've got a substitute teacher who is 90s-good-looking, I guess, so Shawn reverts back to the pussy hound we know and love. He's got real game for a 12 year old. The class begins a discussion about reproduction and Cory gives a wonderfully succinct overview of the process. 

                                    
That's actually the second time he's said "sperm" in this scene and neither was met with cheap laughs or immaturity. This is a massive change of pace from the first season when they used fart noises as punchlines, and I think we're all pretty happy about that. At the end of the scene, Cory asks the substitute how to get a girl to say hi and she just kind of chuckles and dismisses it.

Cory still doesn't understand how to attract women, so now he asks Shawn how to get a girl to say hi. Shawn's technique is to run his hands through his hair, and the girls come running. Topanga does something similar, causing a sasquatch with a mullet to come up and escort her back to his farm or bayou or whatever. I bet he plays bass or some shit.

At the Matthews house Morgan delivers her lines so badly that it must be intentional. Mrs. Matthews takes Morgan to soccer and Eric takes his new girlfriend upstairs. The audience makes it very clear how they feel about that. Shawn and Cory show up, Shawn ditches Cory to go meet girls, and Cory walks in on Eric making his way to second base with his girlfriend. This is taking place in their parents' room for plot reasons. Eric's got some absolutely ridiculous music playing, it's like what the Home Shopping Network plays when they're showing you all the display cases. Maybe things were harder back in '94. Nowadays you just throw on some Owl City or The Postal Service and it's a god damn guarantee.

We're about halfway and it's worth mentioning that this episode's got a Humor Badge for sure. Really clever and smart jokes the whole way through. Too many to post, but you should check out the full episode anyway.

Now Cory asks his brother the question of the day, how to get a girl to say hi. Recall that Eric was being a dick for most of episode one, so this is his first "funny" scene of the season and he does not disappoint. Will Friedle is spot on as usual, and he's actually not wearing any denim on his chest for once. It's a funny, well written scene that lets us peer into some of the fresh dynamics of this brotherhood.

Eric's main point of advice was to make eye contact with a random girl, so Cory stares at this girl in class long enough for her to ask him what the fuck he's doing. Cory fumbles his way into asking her out and she says yes even though she's married. 

Or maybe it's one of those promise rings. Either way, tough break. Cory never addressed her by name here, so I'm going to assume he doesn't know what it is. Also, am I insane or does EVERY teenage female in EVERY tv show carry her binders like that? Is it for posture? I dunno.

Amy and Alan are having another one of their perfect scenes when Amy finds a cheap earring in their bed, left there during Eric's tête-à-tête. I went back to check, and indeed the girl was missing an earring after that scene. Regardless, this doesn't make sense. More than 24 hours have passed since that makeout session, so somehow Amy and Alan didn't notice the earring the night before, and the girl neglected to mention to Eric that she lost it. But whatever.

Anyway, here's the ending to that scene. It's beautiful, unlike Amy's pajamas.

                                     

So now the Matthews parents confront Eric. Cory joins the scene and tells his parents about getting a date. 

His mother asks what this girl's name is and Cory admits he has yet to find out. DO I KNOW THIS SHOW OR WHAT!

Now the super parents explain to their sons that Eric's method of asking random girls out is dumb and that Cory should get to know this girl before jumping the gun. At school the next day, Cory and that girl mutually agree that a date would be weird since they don't know each other, and agree to just have a chat. 

                                        

THERE YOU FUCKIN GO MOTHERFUCKERS. 

YOU WANNA KNOW HOW TO GET A GIRL TO SAY HI?

YOU SAY. FUCKING. "HI." THAT'S IT. THAT'S THE SECRET. LIFE LESSON BADGE.

Seriously, I wish I learned that shit when I was 12. 

Plot: 1.0 - I enjoyed this story. We were shown a lot of examples of Cory falling behind everyone else at school. He had a clearly defined goal and the episode was spent trying to reach that goal. Everyone (except Morgan) was directly related to Cory's pursuit of getting a girl to say hi. That's good story telling.

Character Development: 1.0 - This was a brilliant move by the writers. We've extinguished Cory's awkwardness and uncertainty in a single effective story. Now that Cory can talk to girls, we can focus on real interactions instead of spending an eternity watching him try to build up the courage to talk to that one special girl. Sooooo many shows do that shit and we're just completely avoiding it here.

Humor: 1.0 - Just another reason you should watch this episode. Good laughs for the entire duration. Not much more to say.

Life Lesson: 1.0 - Initiating conversation with someone you want to talk to seems pretty simple when you phrase it that way, but it's something that A LOT of people struggle with. But Boy Meets World seriously got it right here. Just go say hi.

4 points out of 4. This episode was written by Jeff Menell and Glen Merzer, so we'll have to keep an eye out for them.

Thanks for reading, see you Monday!

Clips and images used under Fair Use.