Episode 1x19 "Kid Gloves"

It's time to select extracurricular activities, despite already being well into the second semester. This scene... is wonderful. It's a golden nugget of pure Boy Meets World joy. Mr. Feeny is overflowing with sarcasm, and Shawn and Cory are doing their "dumb humor", the term I'm going to use to describe those jokes which are founded on characters being unintelligent. Dumb humor is something that all sitcoms try to use. It's either hilarious or painful, and the deciding factor is predictability. You can see every punch line coming in an episode of Two and a Half Men or Big Bang Theory, but on Community or Modern Family or Boy Meets World the characters are dumb in surprising ways. There are several good examples in this opening scene, but here's my favorite.

And of course Mr. Feeny's condescension is a delight, as always. I recommend watching this scene in its entirety. If memory serves, the rest of this episode stinks so let's enjoy it while we can.

It's Cory's (presumably 13th) birthday and his father gives him a necklace with little silver boxing gloves on it. Cory isn't very happy with his gift, especially since Eric got a buck knife for his (presumably 13th) birthday.

Alan is hoping for an outpouring of emotion from his son, but Cory doesn't really have much to say since he doesn't understand the gift. Morgan is used to getting presents on her brothers' birthdays, but Alan and Amy have decided to discontinue that tradition. So our favorite father is stuck with two disappointed children. 

It's almost time for Scuba Club so we're in the domain of all non-standard scenes, the cafeteria. As Cory, Shawn, and Topanga reveal their bathing suits, they each garner their own cheers and woos from the audience, which is... I dunno... uncomfortable to say the least.

There's some banter and it's not funny and Mr. Feeny turns out to be the dive master because who else was it going to be.

We're over halfway now and there just hasn't been much to say. It's like they had two underdeveloped episode ideas, one about Scuba Club and one about the silver gloves, so they decided to throw them both in a saucepan, sprinkle in some bad jokes, and stir it over medium heat until it was 22 minutes long.

Cory lost the gloves at the pool during Scuba Club. Alan comes into his sons' room to explain the significance of the gloves to Cory. Eric comments how much he loves the knife he was given, and the other two Matthews men do this: 

I don't have the slightest idea what this means. My guess is that it's supposed to mean "what a pile of a crap", and they're miming shoveling a pile of crap. I don't know what else it could be.

Alan explains that he won the silver gloves by getting 2nd place in the entire U.S. Navy for boxing. It's a cool story and it makes Cory feel like shit.

Cory sneaks off the pool where Scuba Club occurred to try to find the gloves, leaving Eric to cover for him with the story that he went to Shawn's for dinner. This cover is jeopardized when Shawn shows up. It's really convenient that guests always show up at the door where the Matthews family is. 

                                       

Shawn: "Why didn't he just call?" 

Remember when Shawn tried to sabotage Minkus's hamburger with salt and pudding, and he commented that he's "just not happy unless [he is] doing stuff like this"? Maybe he just intentionally makes trouble for Cory all the time. Maybe that one line with Minkus's hamburger is the secret to the entire series. Shawn is really just a master genius troll, intentionally ruining Cory's life.

We get some first person footage of Cory swimming, and he sees a bunch of random stuff but can't find the necklace. Mr. Feeny shows up and tells Cory it was stupid to "dive alone" and orders him to go home. It's never explained what Feeny was doing there.  Feeny Ex Machina indeed. 

                                      

Maybe Feeny captured a Plot Fairy, and now he uses its magical plot resolution dust to teleport around the Boy Meets World universe. Makes as much sense as anything else. I google image searched "plot fairy" and this was the first result, so they must be real. 

Cory walks home, I guess, and his parents were honestly worried for his safety. That seems like an overreaction to me. He wasn't actually diving... Are 13 year olds generally not allowed to swim by themselves? I think I was... Whatever. Mr. Feeny arrives, having found the silver gloves in the pool's filter. Cory returns his gift to his father saying that he doesn't deserve it, and wants it back as soon as Alan thinks he's ready. 

What was the lesson here? "Be careful with crappy birthday gifts in case your dad won them in the Navy?" My dad is in the Air Force, does this lesson still apply to me? And that first scene was really promising. It was like the golden breadsticks appetizer before the burnt grilled cheese main course. Like, burnt black, that shit is not even eatable. And the grilled cheese has peanut butter and jelly in it because they just weren't sure what kind of sandwich they wanted to make. But looooooooooooooord knows, your mom is gonna go get a knife and start trynna scrape the burnt-ness off the bread, "oh it'll be just as good, just gotta scrape this off". No it won't! IT'S RUINED! What was I talking about?

No one besides Alan and Morgan even seemed interested in the fact that it was Cory's birthday. Not even his mother gave him a "happy birthday". No mention of cake or a party or any other gifts or anything. There definitely was not a clear idea of what this episode was supposed to be when it was written. It's all over the place and I really didn't enjoy it at all.

0 for plot, 0.5 for character development since we learned a little more about Alan, 0.5 for humor, mostly thanks to the first scene, and 0 for life lesson.

1/4 and this might be the first episode without any Badges at all. 

See you Wednesday.

Clips and images used under Fair Use.