Episode 2x01 "Back 2 School"

That title is making me uncomfortable. Were they trying to be hip? Or is it because it's the 2nd season? Either way...

This episode functions as a prologue for the season, and perhaps for the rest of the series. Most of its duration is spent introducing new characters, updating the ones we've already met, and creating the foundations for their future interactions. So let's dive in.

Right away we get to see the new intro. It's only a few seconds long, which was a smart decision.

The first season's opening was two minutes long, but the total length of the episodes has not changed. So we've gained a solid two minutes of content here.

Hey I've got an idea..............

Made myself a fuckin logo. I'm glad I don't remember what time I started working on it. There are no fonts that look like the ones the show uses there, so I just picked some that are kinda close. It's good enough. Shoutout to Macromedia because this blog would suck ass without Flash.

Back to the show.

The first scene is set in the kitchen of the Matthews house. It's actually a very well crafted opening. Everyone's lines are written specifically to remind us who they are. Morgan fails at being snarky, Alan and Amy banter and give advice, Eric is the cool older brother, Cory and Shawn have come up with a dopey plan for their first day of high school, and Mr. Feeny is tired of putting up with these people and their shit. That's all in the first three minutes. The show's been off the air for three months and immediately they transport us right back to that state of mind we had at the end of the first season. Nice work. 

In the process of all this, Eric gives Cory a contract to sign, stipulating that Cory only refer to Eric as "Oh Great One" among other stay-out-of-my-way-at-school stuff. Oh Great One steals his father's breakfast.

Quote me on this, if I ever have a son and he steals my breakfast, I'm gonna make Abraham from the Bible look like Will Smith. 

Now we're at school and our heroes meet Frankie the Enforcer and Joey the Rat, played by Ethan Suplee and Blake Sennett, respectively. 

Fortunately John Adams High School shops at Dave's Conveniently Large Locker Emporium. 

I love Frankie and Joey. The exaggerated high school bully is an extremely tired concept, but these two actors rock the shit out of it. "There are no small parts, only small actors." These guys were given some bull shit standard characters and made them unforgettable. Blake Sennett helped to form the band Rilo Kiley in 2003. They were really awesome, but broke up in 2011. Here's some good stuff. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXZR0rwhXvs Ethan Suplee has had a lot of acting gigs since Boy Meets World and lost about 200 pounds! 

So yeah. Frankie and Joey rule and I love when they show up. Next up to bat is Topanga Lawrence.

                                      

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Holy fucking shit. 

That was a testament to this show's lack of realism. Shawn and Cory should be fucking dead right now, like the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark kind of annihilated.

Damn. All right. Anyway. The bell rings and it's time for class. Mr. Turner's class, to be precise.

It's tempting to dismiss Mr. Turner as a transparent attempt at the "cool and hip teacher" stereotype, but I would argue against that. For the time being, he serves as the antithesis to Mr. Feeny. He has a polar opposite teaching philosophy, yet remains an effective educator. This gives the viewers two separate frames of reference for internalizing the show's themes regarding education. We see this right away when he assigns the students to compare the elements of heroism in The Odyssey to those in X-Men. That's a perfectly legitimate assignment and it comes up in a believable, realistic way. Another solid addition to the cast. 

Mr. Turner is played by Anthony Tyler Quinn. Quinn's had small appearances on a lot of different shows throughout the years. I checked his IMDB just now and he's listed as playing Mr. Turner in Girl Meets World, which is the best fucking thing I've ever read. Holy shit that's exciting. 

After Turner's class Cory finally meets Harley Keiner, leader of the thugs at John Adams High. Cory's plan is to befriend this fellow and live peacefully under his protection. 

Harley is an interesting beast and I've never been quite sure how I feel about him. He tries to sound sophisticated and that confuses me. Is his character supposed to be a well-spoken businessman-thug a la Al Capone, or a caricature of one? The audience doesn't laugh every time he says something so I'm leaning toward the former, but there's just something about the way his lines are delivered that prevents me from taking him seriously. He's played by Danny McNulty who hasn't had any roles since this one. 

Harley trolls Cory a little bit and gives him the nickname "Johnny Baboon", and so refers to Cory as "Baboon" for the rest of the series. Baboon and Harley get caught dicking around in the hallway by a pedophile disguised as a teacher who dabs his pen on his tongue and then clicks it out, which just doesn't make any sense.

The pedophile takes Baboon and Harley to the principal, who is none other than George "Tired of Your Shit" Feeny. 

Baboon gets a warning while Harley gets detention, so Harley lets the young boy in the Lakers colors know that he is going to "kill him" at 3 o'clock. 

At lunch, Shawn convinces Cory to seek advice on the "getting killed" problem from Oh Great One, Pussy Czar of Gaia.

Oh Great One's suggestion is to hide in the nurse's office. Cory does in fact seek refuge there, but he's not the only one. Ultimately Cory doesn't want to be a "coward" like the other guys in the nurse's office and decides to go face Harley. Standing up to bullies is generally good advice, but not wanting to get your ass brutalized isn't exactly "cowardly" in my book. 

Baboon confronts Harley and Oh Great One shows up to help his brother. They start to tussle and Mr. Turner swoops in to save the day. 

                                      

Pretty funny stuff. As always, I love when they reference their literature assignments in the story. We haven't seen much of Shawn this episode, but he does manage to squeeze in a teaser for his character arc at the end here. 

                                      

And that's the show. There's a little outro bit, but it's dumb so who cares. 

Minkus is gone. Goodnight, sweet prince. 

                                      

Plot: 0.5 - There wasn't much of a story but that's perfectly fine. They weren't trying to give us a real narrative here, and there was still a ton of content.

Character Development: 1.0 - I covered this extensively throughout the review, pretty obvious Badge.

Humor: 0.5 - Funny enough to stay entertaining, but again it was more about the characters.

Life Lesson: 1.0 - Standing up to bullies is important! 

3 out of 4. A truly masterful season-opener. We have a solid idea of everyone's character for this season and we're left feeling super amped for the next episode. I'm so glad season one is over.

Thanks for reading, and if I don't manage to pump out a review tomorrow then Merry Christmas!

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