Episode 6x22 "State of the Unions"

There was no commented response to me comparing that guy to Jon Stewart in the last post. I thought that was hilarious. Also, I completely forgot to mention in 6x19 that that episode was directed by Mickey Dolenz. How cool is that? Though I have no idea why he decided to be so involved with this series.

Well we're here. The place where it all goes wrong. Hopefully I can keep from going insane after this point, but you can expect at least one "This is fucking ridiculous" in each of the next five or so reviews.


Topanga finds Cory at Brew Lagoon in The Union with the news of a recently available date at the wedding hall. Cory explains that he's been having more nightmares about marriage, and it's a funny little bit as he explains his most recent one. He adds, though, that it's not enough to dissuade him from getting married so I don't know why he brought it up. Topanga offers no advice or consolation, and just doesn't seem to care at all. Nice.

Cory wonders how she can be so certain and unafraid of getting married, and this is where it all starts to crumble. She says "I just look at our parents, Cory." Yes, Topanga is using the fact that her parents and Cory's parents got married young and remain deeply in love to convince herself that her marriage with Cory will work out. That, instead of, I don't know, how much she loves Cory, or how well they've always gotten along, or that she has faith in their relationship, no no no, that would be silly! Forget that nonsense. They'll be fine because her parents are fine. Who, by the way, are coming into town to discuss the wedding.

Is it weird that she called him "Feeny" in that context? Amy and Alan almost always call him "George".

So Feeny and Bolander are hanging out with Amy and Alan in their kitchen, relaying the news about their upcoming wedding. Amy insists that they have the wedding in her living room, which... um... okay, sure... but that's all secondary to Cory storming in and declaring "Big trouble." He's using his angry-anxiousy voice, you'll know what I mean if you hear it, it's always hilarious. This is some high quality stuff from Cory.

The scene moves to the living room after Feeny and Bolander leave, where we learn that Cory is taking every precaution possible for the meeting with Topanga's parents. After the events in "Long Walk to Pittsburgh" and him keeping Topanga from going to Yale, Cory is understandably worried that her parents hate him. To mitigate as much damage as possible, he's prepared index cards of Do's and Don't's for his own parents to follow, including no impressions from Alan, and no singing from Amy.

I don't think we've seen Topanga's mother before, but that's definitely not Peter Tork, who played Jedediah several times in earlier seasons. Now we've got Anette O'Toole as Rhiannon Lawrence, who I only know as Clark Kent's mother on Smallville, and Michael McKean as Jed, who played the lead singer of fictional-but-now-sort-of-also-real band Spinal Tap in This is Spinal Tap. O'Toole and McKean have proven that sometimes the Irish and Scottish don't hate each other, since they're married in real life.

Meanwhile, Eric finds Shawn at The Union, and Shawn offers a listening ear for Eric's troubles, adding "... can we do that..?", which made me laugh. They take it one step further by reminding us that they lived together for a whole year and still never really got close. It's always nice when the show laughs at itself. So Eric explains that he's lost everything: his home, Rachel, Jack, and now Feeny. He doesn't mention Tommy though, which I think is a wasted opportunity. Shawn suggests that perhaps Eric was more in love with the competition with Jack than Rachel, which seems to strike a chord.

Fortunately, Shawn Hunter is here to dispense the fortune cookie enlightenment he obtained during his road trip. It doesn't really resonate with Eric, but he appreciates the sentiment, and resolves to search for his own fortune cookie enlightenment. On the other hand, as is the way of this show, the content is less important than the sentiment. I do like the idea of Eric and Shawn buddying up, and their chemistry is obvious right away.

At home, the four parents are socializing in the living room while Cory and Topanga spy on them from the kitchen.

This is fucking ridiculous. Who does this! On principle alone you shouldn't be comparing your potential marriage to anyone else's marriage, let alone using someone else's success as the driving force for your own. It's just so stupid, but I don't need to sit here harping about it since Cory's gonna do that for us soon enough.

The parents have some playful argument about television shows, and Alan ends up doing a terrible impression of Johnny Carson, directly against the rules on Cory's index cards. Jedediah starts a hushed argument with Rhiannon about some nonsense, making everyone feel awkward, and showing the viewer that this marriage may not be as stable as Topanga thinks. Baby Joshua cries, perhaps as a result of the hushed argument, it's hard to say, so Amy sings him a lullaby, another strike against Cory's rules. Alan mumbles out another bad impression, the third strike, prompting one of my all-time favorite Cory lines.

The family portrait above the fireplace there caught my eye, and I noticed that it's an updated portrait with Lindsay Ridgeway as Morgan, so I did a little investigating. The portrait from season 1 with Lily Nicksay lasts all the way through season 3, which is interesting since Ridgeway takes over mid season 3 and Nicksay is not present in season 3 at all. It's not until the beginning of season 4 that a new portrait is above the fireplace, the same one that's still there now. TRIVIA. BOY MEETS WORLD. LOOK AT US. WE'RE HAVING FUN.

Jed steps outside to get some air and to get away from the argument (that he started), and Topanga pulls her mother into the kitchen to talk about what's going on. She says the same "you guys make me confident in my totally-unrelated-to-you relationship", and her mom tries in vain to explain why this is fucking ridiculous. 

At The Apartment, Jack and Rachel are still making out on the couch. That's endurance, folks. Eric shows up to explain what he realized with Shawn earlier, that it was more about the competition and that he was never really in love with Rachel at all.

They've still got the boxes of Popeye's on top of the fridge.

Eric leaves with a weight off his shoulders having reconciled with his friends, but Rachel appears to be shaken by all this talk of Jack and Eric "competing" for her. We don't get much else here, so we'll have to wait to see what comes out of this. Not that we care, right?

In The Living Room, things unravel as all the talk of marriage and happiness causes Rhiannon to break down and admit that her and Jedediah have fallen out of love, and it's clear that they're going to divorce, if they haven't already. There's one exchange in particular that's always stuck with me.

So Topanga runs off in a very Shawn Hunter-esque fashion.

We fade over to Feeny's wedding, located in scenic The Living Room. But hey, it's free. Shawn and Angela arrive together and have a fun little conversation. It's really well placed and well timed. This is the season finale and these two have had some real turbulence this season! So this dialogue serves to round everything out and leaves us with a nice and comfortable feeling about their friendship. I like it. But it's completely forgotten when the camera moves across the room and shows us that Eric is Mister Feeny's best man. Ahhhhhhh that's so sweeeeeeeeeettttttt.

This is the second time they've had that exchange, and I want to point out again that Feeny is hesitant to say he loves Shawn, Cory, and Topanga in the future, so this relationship really is something special. Gets me every time.

They talk a little more about how Eric's thinking of doing some traveling, and it's implied that he won't be here when Feeny gets back from his honeymoon, and that perhaps they may not see each other again. It'd make me SUPER nervous if I didn't already know that Eric is right there in the first episode of season 7. I'm watching it now, and yeah, there's no mention of Eric's traveling at all.

The procession begins, so Feeny and Bolander begin to exchange vows, and they're pretty well written. I'm a fan. Topanga spends the whole time sobbing in the audience because today is all about her. She doesn't even clap after "you may kiss the bride".

Maybe I'm being too hard on her, but... Mmmmmm I really don't think I am. Her parents are there watching the wedding too, but I can't imagine why.

So Feeny's officially married. Cory gets a phone call from the wedding hall and he tells them that that date that opened up (mentioned at the beginning of the episode) isn't going to work. It's just music and the logo during the credits, so that's the end of season six!

Plot: 0.5 - Eric was good. But the fuckin... MY PARENTS ARE MARRIED SO WE'RE GONNA BE MARRIED FOREVERRRRRRRRRRRR... Ughhhhhhhhhghghghghhhhhhh.

Character Development: 1.0 - Despite her thoroughly flawed logic, Topanga is suddenly afraid of getting married, which is significant for a while. Eric reached a resolution with Jack and Rachel, Shawn and Angela are in a good place, and Feeny got married! Good shit.

Humor: 1.0 - Cory was really solid. What the hell are you doing?!

Life Lesson: 0 - Topanga is usually intelligent, practical, and logical. There was none of that today. For fuck's sake, Shawn's dad died, but did that make him think life was a waste of time? No! It did the opposite! Shawn has a new sense of purpose and a desire to make the most out of life while he can (what I called "fortune cookie enlightenment" earlier). Good for Shawn! Similarly, you might think that Topanga would want to cherish her love with Cory for however long it lasts, but she decides instead to figure the whole thing is a waste of time and just fall to pieces. This is not the strong Topanga I've praised in the past. This is a stupid plot device and I don't like it.

2.5 out of 4.0. - The Matthews Bruthas make this worth watching, but it's still a close call. And it sets up the plot for the first five or so episodes of season 7, so if you're playing along, this episode is fairly necessary.

Thanks for sticking with me for another season. We've had a lot of lows, but also some really high highs. Rachel somehow became more of a centerpiece than Angela by the end. I've mentioned a couple times that Angela draws all of her lines from Shawn, but now that I think about it, is Rachel ever in a scene without either Jack or Eric? Not very often, that's for sure. I'm rambling, let's just close it out.

My post-season break lined up nicely with the week of Christmas, so I'll see you guys again on the 29th. If you're in the Christmas spirit, I recommend, as always, Santa's Little Helper from season 1, Turnaround from season 2, and Santa's Little Helpers here in season 6. One step further, I recommend The Muppet Christmas Carol and the Sam Adams Winter Lager.

Again, I am eternally grateful for your support. I love talking about this show with you. All the best!