Episode 6x07 "Everybody Loves Stuart"

We're in philosophy class, hosted by a teacher named Stuart, played by Fred Savage, star of The Wonder Years. That may be why they used the name of another 90's sitcom, Everybody Loves Raymond, for the title. Stuart has the whole class eagerly participating in a discussion about free will. He's even got Shawn and Cory engaged in a way that Feeny and Turner never could. So right away we're supposed to like this guy, and see that he's everyone's buddy.

Angela gives a disgustingly self-righteous answer about "fate", the smugness is intolerable, but even worse is her hairstyle. Sometimes Angela has these inexplicable wackadoo hairstyles, it's impossible to let them pass without comment.

Class ends, and Stuart hands back everyone's papers. Later, Stuart has apparently followed his students to The Union, where he loses at pool to Angela and has to buy everyone coffee. Topanga helps him carry the coffee while he mentions going over her paper together at some point in the future. It's just more time showing us how comfortable everyone is with him, except for Eric, who insists that Stuart is no good, even though they've never met. Nothing too exciting here, until a well placed Feeny call.

Time skips once again, and we find Stuart knocking on the door to Topanga's dorm room to discuss her paper. He asks Angela if she wants to discuss her paper as well, but she heads out to the Union instead. By all accounts this is a completely innocent situation. Untiiiiiiiiil it's not so innocent.

He's very sly about the whole thing, it all seems very well thought out and planned. Almost certainly not the first time he's done something like this, which is a little frightening. That being said, there's nothing illegal or objectively immoral about a professor-student romance, and they certainly do happen in real life. However, it was made clear in the opening scene that Stuart is very well aware of Topanga's relationship and engagement with Cory. In conclusion, Stuart is a giant scumbag.

The scene is a little awkward to watch, but it finally comes to an end when Cory shows up, causing Stuart to leave and Topanga to tell her boyfriend what happened. We're back at The Union once again, where Cory pulls Stuart outside to talk about what the fuck he was doing last night. Inside, all the other characters are laughing about there "soap opera names", where you take your middle name and the street you grew up on. (Mine would be David Lansdowne, which is... actually pretty good...) Angela has another bizarre hairstyle, and Jack is constantly berating Eric for being a (hilarious) moron. Business as usual.

Well, not quite business as usual, since we're doing an ensemble scene here. The show has been completely divided between The Apartment and everyone else until now, so this ensemble bit is fantastic. Come to think of it, have these characters even been in a scene with Rachel before now? Shawn met her in the first episode, but I can't recall Topanga, Angela, or Cory meeting her before now. That's gotta be wrong, but I can't think of any other times.

Things escalate outside, and Cory pushes Stuart through the door into The Union. Everyone is speechless, except Stuart, who tells Cory that he just got himself kicked out of college. In The Dorm, Amy and Alan arrive to support their son. Cory claims that this is the first time in his life he's hit somebody, which isn't true. He's hit Shawn a few times, and there was that one altercation with his father in Raging Cory.

Alright, time to waste some time. The Apartment Trio are at, you guessed it, The Union, where Eric convinces Rachel to try to seduce Stuart. Jack spends the whole time making his trademark tired-of-this faces and calling Eric a moron. Rachel eventually goes along with the plan, but Stuart turns her down. She gets pretty angry about being rejected, and it's supposed to be funny, but... it isn't.

Topanga is, of course, also at The Union, and demands that Stuart make this all go away.

So that's the revised history Stuart's going to be telling. Topanga is shocked that he would like like that, but she should know all about retcons!

It's time for the hearing. Eric barges in with a suit and briefcase while some dramatic courtroom music is playing from the tape-player in his briefcase. It's hilarious, but because of the music doesn't really translate to a gif.

Okay I don't really know how to review this scene. Stuart makes his case, it's all very clever and smarmy and annoying. It would be pretty convincing if it weren't so obvious that he's a total creep. I like that the writers went to such lengths to give Stuart a compelling case, like him asking Angela to stay with them in their dorm earlier. Feeny is unable to make a convincing case against him, since he never actually broke any real rules. As such, the Dean is forced to suspend Cory, but she can see what's obviously going on here and only suspends Cory for one day. We're left somewhat unsatisfied since Stuart is never officially reprimanded, but at least Cory didn't get expelled.

What the heck are those people in the background doing here? More than that, what's Feeny doing here? He has no real business being here except trying to protect his beloved students. And the biggest takeaway from this scene is that he can't protect them anymore.

Damn, that's some somber realism right there. The episode ends with our four heroes realizing that they aren't, in fact, children anymore.

Plot: 1.0 - A surprisingly adult story without the sunshiney resolution we might expect.

Character Development: 1.0 - Stuart is presented extremely well, and all the other characters adapt in believable ways.

Humor: 0.5 - Most of this episode had a serious tone. Eric was good sometimes, but also pretty bad sometimes.

Life Lesson: 1.0 - This is life. And these things happen. And you're not children anymore.

3.5 out of 4.0. As I was writing this, I was expecting a lower score, but I think that's just because it wasn't very funny. In every other regard, it's actually pretty great. Fred Savage is a good actor who brought us a compelling character with an interesting story and a meaningful conclusion. Rachel was as pointless as ever though. You could have written the exact same episode without her, and just skip that scene where she tries to seduce Stuart. So yeah. Great episode, just not as funny as the other ones this season.

Thanks for reading, see you Friday.

All images used under Fair Use.