Episode 4x13 "B & B's B 'N B"

Eric's going off to a camping-store convention... thing... where I guess a bunch of store owners get together and talk about tents and fishing poles and stuff. Alan's not going though, since someone has to stay and watch the store. I'm scared of what might happen if Eric's gone for an entire episode. Feeny barges in, running from Shawn, who follows moments after. Apparently Shawn wants to drop economics as he is struggling with the current assignment, which actually seems like a reasonable problem to bring to the principal until it starts to sound like Feeny is the one who gave the assignment. So I guess he's the economics teacher now too.

Is that easier to read? I raised the font size from thirty... to thirty five...!

The assignment is to create an imaginary business and then write a paper about running it. And this is causing Shawn to want to drop the class. This is a new level of laziness. Like a good teacher, Feeny tells Shawn to sit down and shut up so he can talk to Amy. He hands her his house keys since he's going away for the weekend, where he'll be staying at a "lovely bed and breakfast". Amy mentions offhandedly that B 'n B's can make pretty good money. Most of Feeny's instructions are about maintaining his plants, which Amy quickly delegates to Shawn and Cory as soon as the old man is out the door. You usually gotta call out the parents on these shows for opening the floodgates for the kids' antics, but this time I really can't fault her. What could they possibly do with plants? Start a pot farm?

We get our first inside look of Mr. Feeny's home, and it's pretty snazzy. Shawn runs upstairs to jump on Feeny's bed, then comes back down impressed by the multiple rooms and large bathroom. Inspired, he runs off to begin his economics project.

Oh good, we get to see Eric after all. He sits down at the bar at his hotel in whereverland and starts (successfully) flirting with the bartender. But Professor Cockblock is on the scene. Yes that's right, Mr. Feeny is at the same bar, which is weird considering that he said he was staying at a Bed and Breakfast. Ah okay, he's meeting a woman here to "have dinner in the hotel", yeah I'm real sure you're havin dinner Feeny Feen, and the menu ain't suitable for a family sitcom. Even so, the bed and breakfast thing still doesn't make sense, but we've gotta roll with it.

Mr. Feeny tells Eric a lovely story about how he meets up with this woman a few times a year for dinner, and they trade off asking the other to leave their jobs and move to their respective city to get married, and the other person always declines, as per the tradition. Eric is at his most mature during this conversation, which I like to think is the direct result of his mentor speaking to him like an adult. It's these subtle flashes of respect from Mr. Feeny that really define this show, even when they're not toward Eric.

Back in Philly, Cory finds Shawn in Feeny's house, where he's "working on [his] economics project". Apparently the rules of (American) grammar say that the period goes inside the quotation marks no matter what, but fuck that noise, that doesn't make any kind of sense. I'm siding with the rest of the world on this one. Anyway...

What's his project? Well Cory wants to know too.

You can see this show's signature raised-eyebrow-nod at the end of Cory's line there. I mentioned that a few reviews ago, but it's been going on since at least season 3. It's all over the place, seriously.

Okay, so the project is, you guessed it, a bed and breakfast inside Mr. Feeny's house. The assignment explicitly said to make up a business, but... okay... Shawn's put a lot of effort into this thing (not that that justifies it) by getting it all set up and advertising at the airport with fliers. Choosing the air port for advertising is either pure genius, or nonsense. It makes sense on the surface, but have you ever traveled without already having accommodations in place? Maybe it happens. Either way, it happens in the Boy Meets World universe, seeing as Shawn's already got some guests, who come downstairs just then. They're a Dutch couple, the Timmers, while the Mooreparks are upstairs in the "honeymoon suite", and the Hecks show up at the door soon after. Gloria Heck is played by Dena Dietrich who isn't too famous as far as I can tell, but Arnie Heck is played by Len Lesser. He was a pretty awesome old dude who I mostly know as Uncle Leo from Seinfeld.

Gloria Heck wants to go shopping, so Shawn calls down the concierge, a role played by our very own Topanga Lawrence. Her boyfriend asks how she could possibly get mixed up in one of Shawn's crazy schemes.

Homegirl gettin mad cash off those retirement-money tips, yo.

Shawn's apparently bribed a cab driver at the airport to tell old couples that all the hotels are full and to then bring them here, which is pretty clever. This is the same kid who blew up a mailbox? Maybe living with Turner actually did some good for him. He tells Cory that they're both going to get in trouble for this even if he gets caught alone, so Cory decides he might as well join the party. I keep wanting to say how ridiculous this is, but, for whatever reason, the writers decided to cover all of their bases this time. This is actually more plausible than City Slackers, and that's one of my favorites, so I shouldn't dwell on the realism too much.

Back at the hotel bar, Eric's flirting with the bartender again, and it is working. This is a huge departure from the Eric that fumbled around with Lonnie in the previous episode, and I like this Eric better. The bartender asks Eric to have "dinner" later after her shift ends, so dinner is just gonna be a euphemism for sex this whole episode, and our boy is game. She's cute, but she looks a lot older than him.

She actually kinda looks like an older Rachel, from seasons 6 and 7. Maybe Eric just has a type.

Buuuuuuuut Professor Cockblock wanders in with a pensive appearance and a glass of wine. Eric really wants to have a kiss and a cuddle with this girl, but they both accept that helping Mr. Feeny is more important. The bartendress heavily implies that she would have rocked Eric's world in the sack, causing him to whimper, and then he takes a seat with his mentor.

Feeny laments his romantic tradition, in particular the notion that they don't care for each other quite enough to take the plunge, and confirms that she did indeed say no. The two men have another emotional and mature conversation about love, and Eric comments that if Feeny really loved this woman he would be willing to risk everything. The old man observes that his risk taking days might be over, but Eric points out that it's never too late, and suggests they hit the town, or, as Feeny puts it, "cruise for chicks".

THERE IT IS. THEY'RE FRIENDS. THEY SAID IT. IT'S CANON. SHOW'S OVER EVERYBODY, WE GOT WHAT WE CAME FOR.

Seriously though, I love this scene! Eric has just given a life lesson to his mentor. That's huge. What a fantastic character arc. It is the epitome of Hollywood magic that they both ended up in this hotel bar, but if we accept that then this is amazing. Imagine how little we would care if this had just been sprung on us. But because of the way this relationship has been built over the last two seasons, it's a fantastic payoff. Mr. Feeny sees just how much Eric has grown under his guidance, and Eric finally gets the respect he's been working toward. There's 8 minutes left in the episode but I really don't care. This scene should have been the end.

Back at Feeny's house, the guests are going to sleep and the boys realize that they don't have any food to serve for breakfast the next morning. So they forgot half of "bed and breakfast", but fine. When the time comes, Cory fixes that particular problem by telling his parents they should pray before eating.

Even with a successful breakfast, they're not in the clear. Feeny comes home and there's a long bit where the departing guests almost get caught a bunch of times, but in the end it seems like the boys are actually going to get away with this one, much to Cory's disappointment. He thinks they should get caught, because they always get caught, and I guess that's a self-aware sort of funny.

Alas, Feeny's cab driver recognized his address (recall that Shawn bribed him to bring people to the B 'n B) and blew the whole operation.

The boys offer Feeny the money they made, which appears to be quite a bit, but they're not in too much trouble. Mr. Feeny comments that he happens to have a soft spot for risk takers at the moment, due to his earlier conversation with Eric. Further, he's going to give the money back to Shawn once he's in college, adding that Shawn is going to be fine out there with his evident business savvy. Shawn takes this assurance to heart and says, half-jokingly, that he doesn't have to be a criminal. I thought we learned that in the episode immediately before this one.

During the credits, Feeny tries to get that honeymoon-suite couple to leave his house by talking to them through his bedroom door. I guess they were still there, which sort of destroys the "almost got away with it" scene from earlier. Eventually they do come out, and they're like 90 years old, which is a throwback to Eric saying that it's never too late to find love. It's a lot nicer if you forget that these newlyweds just spent the last two days having Viagra fueled honeymoon sex on his bed.

Plot: 0.75 - The most interesting thing to happen with Cory and Shawn was the moment where we learned what they were doing. But then they just sort of... did it... killing time until Feeny came home. But as usual, Eric and Feeny came in for the save. Feeny's story about his tradition with this unnamed woman is wonderful. And even though the setup is next to impossible, the proceedings between him and Eric are spot on.

Character Development: 1.0 - ERIC AND FEENY ARE FRIENDS. WHERE IS THE EMMY. Also, it was nice to see Feeny express confidence in Shawn's potential at the very end.

Humor: 0.5 - Underwhelming, unfortunately. All of the guests at the B 'n B were really old, and the audience seemed to find them hysterical, but they didn't do anything for me.

Life Lesson: 0.5 - You're never too old to find someone special. Doesn't exactly resonate with the target audience.

2.75 out of 4.0. - Watch it just for the scenes with Eric and Feeny. No idea what the "B & B" in the title stands for. Boy and Boy? Bizmuth and Bilgewater? Am I just oblivious? I've never understood that one.

Thanks for reading, see you Friday. Shit, where did the week go...

All images used under Fair Use.