Episode 4x12 "Easy Street"

I am finally the top Google result for "Boy Meets World reviewed", and any other version of that. Feels damn good. Infinite thanks for supporting me, everyone.

We're in Mr. Turner's class where Topanga is finishing up a reading of The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost while Cory and Shawn perform synchronized snoring in the back of the room. Feeny stops by for some reason, but his intentions are left by the wayside as he wakes our heroes up and explains the meaning of Frost's poem: the impact that our choices can have. To follow that up, he asks Cory and Shawn what kinds of choices they've made lately, and both report that they've recently decided to get jobs over Christmas Break to be able to buy gifts. Cory is a gopher at some restaurant, Shawn is working down at the docks.

What the fuck was that? This is a seriously extreme example of protagonist privilege right here. They're blatantly sleeping in class, but it's fine because Mr. Feeny came by to recap the entire lesson for them. Let's just neglect everybody else in the class, that's fine. And the jokes in this scene kinda suck, every punch line is followed by this eyebrow-raising nodding thing that I'm sure you recognize if you ever watch this show.

Cory is especially notorious for that move. The scene fades out after a punchline, so there's no stated reason whatsoever for Feeny to stop by the room.

Now we're at Alan's outdoor-equipment store. Recall that they hired Lonnie, the daughter of a walking-stick wielding mountain man, a few episodes ago and by gum here she is again, putting up Christmas decorations. She's telling Eric how great her family Christmases were back in "the mountains" and starts feeling homesick and crying. But Eric has a shoulder to do it on. He then promises to take her back home for Christmas, even though it's 500 miles away. Alan just sort of looks on with disappointment, and who can blame him.

Time to see Cory's part time job.

Yeah that looks safe. These two suits are talking in Godfathery Italian accents too, so Cory is the only person on Earth who doesn't see what's going on here. But I guess that's a prerequisite for the job. Just gotta put "oblivious" on your resume, under "skills". The one on the right is Mr. Fountain, played by Buddy Hackett, who was a big deal way before my time, including being a panelist on What's My Line?. To his left is Mr. Martini, played by Soupy Sales, who is also a big deal to old people and a panelist on What's My Line?. I doubted the mob presence in Philly, but boy was I wrong. The "Philadelphia crime family" was alive and well, under the direction of Joseph Merlino in 1995, but it doesn't seem like this episode is making any direct references to that.

It's unusual to get 4 minutes into an episode without laughing, but here I am. Ah, okay, they got me at 5 and a half minutes. Shawn comes over to Cory's at 8 AM, having worked at the docks since 3. He does a whole bit about how cold and miserable it was, in stark contrast to how cushy and lucrative Cory's job is. Shawn just can't seem to catch a break.

That barely gets a rise out of the audience, but I think it's hysterical. I've seen a lot of comedy in hundreds of different forms, and after a point it's hard to be surprised by a punchline. You usually have to rely on delivery for the humor, but this is the sort of punchline that you can't possibly see coming. Awesome.

Cory brings Shawn in to work to show him just how easy his job is. Right away, one of the suits gives Cory a $20 dollar "tip" to take an envelope to some specific mailbox. Cory's asking too many questions, but Shawn sees what's going on and steps in like "yeah he'll definitely deliver it, no problem" and pulls his friend aside. Shawn informs how bow-tie clad friend that he is, in fact, working for the mob.

This is a trip down memory lane. Shawn's street smarts are filling in Cory's innocent/naive cracks. That's some season 2 shit, and I kinda miss it.

Cory quits immediately, without any problems from the suits, and heads for the hills. Shawn steps over to the What's My Line panelists and basically says "hey he's not a rat, don't whack my best friend," and they're cool about it. Noting Shawn's strong sense of loyalty, they offer him Cory's old job. He does indeed take the job, and excels at it with his sharpened knowledge of criminal activity.

Speakin' of sharp, god damn, that vest. I wish I had more opportunities to wear a vest, every guy looks good in one of those.

Cory stops by to try to talk Shawn out of working here, but our vested hero insists that nothing bad is going to happen, and that he just wants a little money to buy nice gifts for his friends and family. This is slightly reminiscent of "Santa's Little Helper" in season 1, when Shawn was stuck with a sparse set of Christmas gifts, but now he's taking matters into his own hands. Right on.

Changing gears a little bit, we're with Eric and Lonnie on the turnpike driving to "the mountains" or wherever. Eric's saying some kinda creepy stalkery stuff here, completely devoid of the charm we're used to, and Lonnie starts talking about a "powerful feeling" she's getting. She tells Eric to pull over, and everything she says sounds like she wants to bang, and Eric's reactions are pretty funny, but what she's actually feeling is an imminent blizzard. Sure enough, they get trapped in the car.

For once, the Eric story is underwhelming. This is like season 2 Eric, honestly, just completely losing his wits over a girl. There's nothing wrong with it, we just haven't seen it in a while. This episode was written by Jeff Menell, who did write a bunch of episodes in season 2, so maybe I'm on to something. Eric tries to bust out of the car by slamming into the door, but he hurts his head and starts acting all loopy.

Back at home, Shawn's brought a gift for Cory. It's an expensive watch, and Cory says he can't accept it because of where the money came from. Shawn convinces him to keep the watch, but he tries his best to get Shawn to quit the job. It's kinda preachy, but what did you expect. Anyway, Shawn doesn't quit, citing "easy money", but promises to be back the next night for Christmas Eve.

Over in the living room, Lonnie arrives at the door with a dazed Eric in tow.

Apparently they just waited in the car until the plow dug them out. I know dick and less about blizzards, so I'll reserve comment. When Amy and Alan leave the room, Lonnie informs Eric that they actually almost died out in the car, but Eric was unconscious for the whole thing.

No, what she did was strip the two of them down and embrace for warmth inside a sleeping bag. Eric is extremely distraught at having been unconscious during those proceedings, and makes that squeaky cry of anguish that I vividly remember from an earlier episode which, as it turns out, was in season 2. (Episode 15, if you care.)

Maybe I know too much about this show.

Aaaaaaanywayyy Eric starts crying, and Lonnie is trying extremely hard not to bust out laughing, and I can't blame her. It's hilarious. Aside from that, the entire story here is "they were gonna go but then they came back."

At the Italian restaurant, the suits have one last job for Vest Man. He's gotta go stand in some desolate location with a package, and wait for a car to come by for it, which is where the next scene starts. Shawn's standing there all alone in the cold when... Cory shows up... I'm sorry, what? How the hell did Cory get here! What is this, Chubbie's?

Shawn explains that he's never had money like this before, and that he doesn't want to walk away from good, easy money. Cory starts to be more aggressive in his protests, and it really feels like one of those YOU'LL DIE IF YOU SMOKE WEED programs, it's just not the tone we've come to expect from this show. Cory's taking the preachy route here, like "you're probably delivering drugs and that's bad", rather than something logical like "you'll most likely die or go to jail eventually", and it isn't working for me. Directly quoting Cory here: "I didn't see this coming at all. I mean, I thought the devil was supposed to be some guy with horns and a big tail." What the fuck are you talking about Cory? That's completely non sequitur, who wrote that.

They keep trying to reference Frost's The Road Not Taken, talking about choices in life. Shawn says "maybe no matter what I do, this is where I end up, like that poem says." Cory tries to correct him, suggesting that the poem means that "every choice you make matters." If you don't already know this, it might blow your mind, but Shawn is actually right. The Road Not Taken is probably the most commonly misunderstood American poem ever. Frost himself admitted that he was actually mocking the idea that single decisions would change your life. So, unfortunately, this time the inspiration from literature is backwards from what the literature was really saying.

They both say some more nonsense and decide to take the package back to the mobsters. That's dumb. Even if they're ethically opposed to delivering this package, a guilty conscience is a lot better than telling the mob "Nah man, I know I said I was gonna do it, but Robert Frost and stuff happened, you kinda had to be there. I'm not gonna do it though, so peace out."

Hah! We've all been there. Transitioning to Christmas as an adult is rough.

Lonnie informs Eric that her story about naked cuddling wasn't actually true. So... that subplot was even less interesting than before. Feeny and Turner are also there because who cares it's a sitcom, and then they take a picture, which turns into a greeting card, because who cares it's a sitcom.  

Fuck that shit, I care. I expected better from you, Boy Meets World.

Plot: 0.25 - Shawn and Cory randomly start working for the mob. And Eric's story was totally worthless. Like I said, kinda felt like a season 2 episode for all the stuff I pointed out, as well as the literature inspiration which was done pretty frequently back then. Except they screwed up the inspiration and wrote the worst version of Eric in the series.

Character Development: 1.0 - I guess this is the one where Shawn officially decides not to turn to a life of crime for money, and like I mentioned before, it's good to see him (and Cory) taking the initiative to work for some extra money.

Humor: 1.0 - I feel like I've given this badge a lot. Season 4 has been really funny.

Life Lesson: 0 - Misinterpret famous poems to fit your current needs.

2.25 out of 4.0. If you're looking for an episode to watch just for fun, I guess this might work, but it's really forgettable. Why does "forgettable" have two t's? Whatever.

Thanks for reading, see you Wednesday. And don't miss the second season of Orange Is The New Black.

All images used under Fair Use.