Episode 1x11 "The Father-Son Game"

The non-paternal Matthews characters make a bunch of bad jokes in the kitchen until Swagmaster Alan Matthews comes downstairs lookin' pretty fly.

It's time for the annual Father-Son baseball game between Alan's grocery store and some bookstore where a bunch of hippies work. I'm surprised that either store has enough dads to put together its own baseball team, but that's fine. Alan is ecstatic, Cory and Eric don't want to go. Uh oh.

In Feeny's class the next day, Topanga doesn't want to say the Pledge of Allegiance for legitimate reasons. Cory supports saying the Pledge, but for all the wrong reasons, and the two briefly debate. I appreciate the effort here, it's an important discussion to have even today. But it feels haphazardly thrown in to take up time. The issue is never even mentioned again until the last couple minutes of the episode, and it's not impressive. Shawn is funny though.

                                      

It's unusual that Minkus doesn't get any lines in the classroom. We're at lunch now and for the first time so far, Rider Strong (who plays Shawn) completely dominates a scene with humor. He's had some funny lines, and maybe dominated a few emotional scenes, but nothing quite like this.  

                                      

"I'm just never happy unless I'm doing stuff like this..." Hysterical. Ultimately, Minkus is able to outsmart our heroes, and Shawn's facial expressions continue to be on point. I'm going to award a "Rider Strong is funny" Bonus Badge.

                                      

I'm also impressed that Shawn knows who Stephen Hawking is. The next four or five minutes is all boring fluff and I'm not gonna talk about it. Eventually, Cory and Eric are trying to weasel their way out of the Father-Son baseball game (which is scheduled for the next day, Saturday). It's clear that they don't want to go, so Alan relays the game's cancellation to his sons; however, it is apparent to the viewers that he is lying. 

So what happens next? Do Cory and Eric learn the truth and ultimately spend a great time at the game with their dad, learning a valuable lesson while that clarinet music plays? You would think so, but once again Boy Meets World avoids that shit like Wall Street avoids responsibility (so edgy). 

Right after the scene where that gif came from, we jump straight to school on Monday, where Topanga tells Cory she missed him at the game which was not in fact cancelled. The Father-Son game apparently allowed daughters as well, which is cool. Breakin' down that glass ceiling. Cory feels guilty and the clarinet plays. At home Cory explains the situation to Eric and they both feel like the giant asshats that they are. This inspires them to put together a barbecue for their dad, with the help of Willie Garson.

Who is paying for all of this? Certainly not Eric and Cory. Willie Garson just shows up with all the food they need, so I imagine Alan is eventually going to get hit with the bill, and that's kinda shitty. No one is even helping him cook, especially not Willie Garson. Look at him just chillin his ass off back there, freeloadin piece of...

Just so we're clear here, Cory/Eric called up Willie Garson, said "hey bring us all this food we won't pay for", and then told their dad to cook it for everyone. What. The. Fuck. 

In a stunning display of presence of mind, the Matthews brothers realize that this disgraceful excuse for a gift wasn't good enough to make things right with their father. There are only four minutes left in this episode, so it's almost a guarantee that the wrap-up to this story is going to be unsatisfying. 

Now we're in Feeny's class to re-address the Pledge of Allegiance business. You should see this for yourself.

                                     

Was any part of that coherent? I'll concede that "It's dumb to do something and not know why you do it" is a solid lesson, but what does that have to do with Father-Son baseball? Is he saying he should have played baseball to... show allegiance to... his dad..? I... What? And why doesn't Topanga get to weigh in on Cory's new perspective? After all, this whole thing started as a debate between the two of them. This is not good writing. And there's only two minutes left for Cory and Eric to do something special for their dad.

I know I'm going overboard with the clips in this review, but you really have to see this stuff to understand how I'm feeling.

                                     

They're blaming Alan? Didn't Cory just give a speech to his class about how tradition doesn't matter? But seriously, THEY'RE BLAMING THEIR FATHER?

This episode is a travesty. Every moment without Shawn's involvement was either not funny, or nonsensical. It was written by Bill Lawrence, one of the producers for the show, and is the only episode he ever wrote. I have exactly one guess as to why that is.

                                             

0 for plot, 0 for character development, Absolute Zero for life lesson, and I guess 0.5 for humor because of Shawn, as well as a bonus badge for Shawn.

Hopefully Friday's episode is better. I would really like to be done with the first season. 

All clips and images used under Fair Use.