Episode 6x06 "Hogs and Kisses"

This episode is so profoundly frustrating that my blood is already boiling. Call me tonight's lobster dinner cuz I am boiling right up.

We've got a filming crew here trying to make a video-tour of Pennbrook, and through the magic of Protagonist Privilege, Cory and Topanga are the hosts for this tour. But Cory sucks. Bad. The good news is that Cory is self-aware enough to realize it. I would have had to kill myself if we were doing the "How do we tell him he sucks, I don't want to hurt his feelings" trope.

Right away I feel a lot more comfortable than in the last episode. Sometimes Cory is insufferable, sometimes he's amazing. Last episode, he was insufferable. Right now, I love him. People usually choose Shawn or Eric as their favorite Boy, but perhaps Cory has the biggest effect on the atmosphere of the show. When he's awesome, we feel awesome, and when he's shit, nothing can save us. And we're about to see the proof of that when this episode goes to hell in the next couple minutes.

Shawn pokes fun at his best friend, and his natural charm is immediately called out by the video's director, who now wants Shawn to replace Cory. And let's be clear about this. Both Shawn and Topanga are hesitant, while Cory insists that Shawn take his place.

We fade over to the filming of the tour's final scene, which ends with a passionate kiss between Shawn and Topanga. Without missing a beat, Cory freaks the fuck out. Later, in The Dorm, Cory is conducting some sort of masochistic ritual by watching the footage of the kiss over and over again, and continuing to freak the fuck out. 

Hey, that's a Streetcar reference. I guess I haven't seen this episode in a long time, I don't remember that. Regardless, Cory's delirium gets him into a shouting match with the guy in the next room over. It made me laugh pretty damn hard, I'm not gonna lie. I've mentioned before that Ben Savage is hysterical when he's acting angry, and this is the perfect example. There's nothing special about the lines either, it's all in the delivery. The other guy turns out to be this giant bodybuilder, which we learn when he breaks down the door to Cory's room.

At The Apartment, it's like, 80% same, 20% kinda new.

Jack doesn't make me laugh very often, but that one got me.

They're still putting on a show for her, but now it's less about getting in her pants and more about not scaring her off. As soon as she leaves they get out some donuts and start burping and taking off their pants and everything. Jack and Eric are convinced that Rachel will want to move out if she sees who they really are. See this seems like something that should have been covered earlier, like right after she moved in. Oh well.

The bodybuilder has now joined Cory in sobbing as they watch the Shawpanga kiss footage together. The joke is that he's gay and is getting a little too close to Cory. They missed an opportunity here, where the bodybuilder could have thought Cory was crying over Shawn, and that would be the avenue to him being gay. That would have worked a lot better.

Topanga finds Shawn at The Union, where he had to sleep on the couch, on account of Cory locking him out of The Dorm. As she wakes him up, he says "No clown, no!" like he's having a nightmare, and I swear Cory said the same thing in a similar situation, but I can't remember which episode. The two of them are then found by Cory, who claims to be over the whole kissing thing, that he is a "happy, healthy Cory."

Another one of those legendary lines. And golly gosh goobers, can you believe that it came from an angry Cory? I'm tellin you guys. Angry Cory. It never disappoints.

Despite the overwhelming resistance of Topanga and Shawn, Cory demands that the two of them go on a date together, and eventually they relent. The episode has become frustrating. It's just... so... stupid... It's soooooooooo stupid. Cory isn't that stupid! "How can we learn so much every week, AND STILL BE SO STUPID?!" One of the main points of the Lauren arc was that you can kiss someone and have it not mean anything, but Cory has conveniently forgotten all about that.

He heads over to Angela's dorm to get her opinion on the Shawn/Topanga dinner date, which, as we now learn, Cory set up and paid for himself.

Angela is, in fact, not an idiot, so she tries to explain to Cory why he is an idiot, but it's no use. Cory is just too stupid. And not even the funny kind of stupid that he was in the first two seasons. He hears Shawpanga returning home from their date, and they're putting on a whole show like they're gonna go make the beast with two backs in The Dorm. Once they're inside, they're reading from scripts and making all these sound effects to really troll the crap out of Cory. It's funny in theory, but since this is Cory's best friend and Cory's fiance, they of all people should know that Cory is fucking stupid, way too stupid to see through an obvious joke like this, they should know that Cory is as dumb as a bag of hammers. But they don't. So Cory walks off upset, before Shawpanga have a chance to say "gotcha!".

Eric and Jack are continuing with their hyper-politeness con during a lovely spaghetti dinner. Rachel calls them out for putting on a show just because she's a woman, but the boys insist that she could never handle the intensity of their slob-ness. Slob-ocity.

Will Friedle, showing up with the perfect delivery.

Rachel decides to prove them wrong by initiating a massive food fight, effectively destroying their entire apartment. Further, she demands that they clean everything up by the time she gets out of the shower. What the fuck is that. What's interesting to think about though, is how exactly you do this kind of scene. Obviously you can't choreograph a food fight, and you only get one take for something like this. I figure they just set the scene up and told them to improvise for a couple minutes, which is pretty awesome to think about. And the actors look like they're having a ton of fun. Is it fun to watch? Yes. Is it a waste of time? Abso-damn-lutely. It seems like the writers were reaaaaally stretching for ANYTHING to fill time in this episode. Start to finish, this Apartment scene clocks in at almost five minutes. We almost NEVER spend that long in a single location.

Cory takes Angela to his room to show her proof of what Topanga and Shawn are doing, but Shawpanga aren't there anymore. So instead they have the exact same conversation they had a few minutes ago. Because Cory is an idiot. Regarding the kiss, "You can't do something like that without feeling anything." Gaaaaaaahhhhh Cory what are you talking abouttttttt. Not only does Cory have the kiss+date with Lauren to refer back to, but also Topanga's kiss+date with that boy band looking guy from the art museum in Starry Night. And also common sense, and the fact that literally everyone else is telling him otherwise. Angela finally saddles up and kisses Cory to prove that he won't feel anything.

And so now Cory's convinced That's pretty much the end, that's it. That was uh... That was it.

During the credits, Jack and Eric literally die waiting for Rachel to get out of the shower. Non-canon, presumably.

Plot: 0 - One of the worst plots ever. I haven't given a zero for plot in a long time, but damn, Cory forcing them to be in the scene together, then forcing them to go on a date, then losing his mind, it was just awful. And you can almost draw a comparison between Topanga telling Cory to go on that second date with Lauren, and Cory telling Shawpanga to go on a date, but it's not really that similar since Shawpanga were never taking the date seriously at any point. And to bring back what I said at the beginning, no matter how everyone else in the episode is doing, nothing could have saved us from the fact that Cory was a train wreck.

Character Development: 1.0 - This one's actually going to Angela. When we first met her, it was annoying how she made Cory and Shawn act, but she herself has been pretty cool for a while. Always keeps her head on straight. And we can see that the "let's be real friends" thing between Cory and Angela from episode 4 is actually happening.

Humor: 1.0 - Angry Cory is hilarious (undapants), and Eric+Jack had some good lines, but mostly just Cory.

Life Lesson: 0 - Don't be as dumb as Cory.. 

2.0 out of 4.0. - Undapants. Cory and Angela are actually being friends like they wanted. The Apartment is stupid, but not as stupid as Cory. Not much else to say. I guess Eric and Jack were the hogs, and the kisses were the kisses.

Thanks for reading, see you Monday. And Happy Halloween!

All images used under Fair Use.

Episode 6x05 "Better Than The Average Cory"

It looks like we're jumping right in to Feeny being a college professor, as we see him leading a group of students around an art museum. Angela and Shawn approach their respective best friends to announce their good news. Shawn got into "the photography program", which, I mean, holy shit, continuity. And Angela got an A on her essay "Maintaining Black Identity While Having Three Very White Friends." And Cory found a penny! But Topanga didn't do a damn thing. Didn't even get a callback to her previous fascination with art. Either way, we see that Shangela are doing a good job of staying friends after breaking up.

Cory gives an interpretation of a painting by "Alexandra Nechita", but it's completely wrong, as is pointed out by the real Alexandra Nechita, a real life child prodigy. I have no idea how she ended up on this show, but I wouldn't even know who she is otherwise. Our hero makes a real jackass out of himself here. It's a bit uncharacteristic, but still funny.

Cory clumsily apologizes, while Feeny begins to drool over the child prodigy. He starts in with a barrage of complicated, artsy fartsy, hoity toity blabbledyblark questions, and she looks none too excited about those topics. I smell a character arc!

While we're on the subject of character arcs, it looks like Cory's going to resurrect his classic inferiority complex. That's been one of the most recurring elements of Cory's character since the very beginning, where he doesn't think he's interesting, or good enough, or what have you, only to be convinced otherwise by the end of the episode, usually because of something Shawn says or does. And we can nitpick, like "Why does he always have this problem if he's fixed it so many times?", but in this particular case, that's a bad argument. How many times have you just had a day where you're like "damn I suck, what am I doing with my life", and then you have to pick yourself back up? Happens to me at least once a week. Everybody's got their ups and downs, Cory's no exception.

Anyway.

Cory mentions that Nechita is the same age as his sister, establishing his inferiority of the day, and Nechita herself overhears. For some reason she sees the prospect of meeting a complete stranger as fuckin CHRISTMAS just because she's the same age and gender. So that's how Alexandra Nechita ends up in Cory Matthews's kitchen. She doesn't even have a chaperon or her parents or anything. Some moron at an art museum has a sister? BETTER SKEDADDLE.

So Morgan and the prodigy hit it off right away, but it's weird since Morgan looks ten years younger. Looks can be deceiving though. The two are actually the same age, both thirteen for this episode, and in fact Lindsay Ridgeway (Morgan) is two months older.

That is mind blowing.

The two girls run off to play Banjo Kazooie in Morgan's room, which is the single greatest way to foster a powerful friendship. (Grant Kirkhope? Are you out there? Do you read my blog, Grant Kirkhope? I love you.)

Meanwhile, at The Apartment, it's more of exactly the same. Eric really needs to go to the bathroom, but he's holding it in, afraid to leave Jack alone with Rachel. This proves to be a somewhat ineffective long-term strategy, as he has to run off immediately after Jack tricks him into drinking some water. The moment Jack gets a chance, it's... business as usual.

Rachel plays it off as a joke, and then starts choking on that hot dog. Unfortunately for Jack, that's not a euphemism.

If I wrote... a list... of the things on television that make me the MOST pissed off... The "It's not what it looks like" gag would be a TOP. FUCKING. CONTENDER. I have the video paused as Rachel's choking, a blind man can see what's about to happen. Jack's gonna do the Heimlich and Eric's gonna walk out and go 'WAHHHAHAGHHRHHAH". I am dreading pressing play again, but here goes nothing.

Being this right isn't as fun as you might think. It was even worse since they started off with the "he doesn't realize she's choking at first" thing. What an annoying waste of time. The only takeaway is that Rachel feels extremely indebted to Jack and Eric is jealous.

Cory is in his room with Shawn, looking over all his lame participation trophies from his childhood and teen years. Okay, see, I thought we were doing "I'm not interesting", which was the reason for that explanation earlier. Now it seems like we're doing "I've never been interesting", which is a little harder to swallow. I mean the guy literally traveled back in time twice, that's gotta be worth something.

Everyone who has ever seen this episode is in love with that moment and wants that poster. That is just genius. Down in the kitchen, it's some shit we don't care about. Amy and Alan ask Morgan if some other girl named Ellouise is the reason she's not going to enter "the talent show at the youth center". Yeah more like EL-LOSER. Apparently SMELLOUISE wins every year, so there's no point in trying,

The parents tell their daughter she doesn't have to compete if she doesn't want to, which is nice of them, but Cory accuses them of "grooming another 8th place honorable mention nothin special *something I can't understand*". He goes on to quite ruthlessly insult his father's inability to raise him beyond normalcy. "I'm average because you're average." Alan looks absolutely heartbroken, and I don't blame him. Cory is a real punk sometimes.

I really hate it when tv shows and movies do this, but now we're just magically out of that awkward or tense situation, as if everyone just walked away. There's a quick group therapy session with our four freshman in Cory's dorm, until Alan arrives to whisk his son off to Learn-A-Lesson Land. But not before we take a trip back to Rachel Land.

Jack finally decides to cash in his favor with Rachel by asking for a PB&J sandwich. Eric realizes that Jack isn't a huge jerk, and that's why he's not using his favor on something that involves genitalia. And that's it, that's their story for this episode. Not interesting or exciting, and it's not even very funny. Besides, I'm sure they'll both be back to preying on Rachel in the next episode anyway. So it's all pointless.

So yeah, learn a lesson land.

Is it supposed to be terrifying? Either way, it's the exact same place where Shawn and Jack reconciled back in 5x02. Shawn and Jack used to live here with Chet before Jack's mom left. You can see the green doorframe that leads to the apartment in both pictures.

You thought I wouldn't notice, didn't you, Michael Jacobs?

YOUUUUUUU THOUGHT I WOULDN'T NOTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

So why are we here now? That little store in the bottom left of the first picture is the store where Alan's father worked for 40 years, and where Alan himself got his first job.

Alan goes on to explain that he was proud of his father, and respected him, because he did the best that he could. Further, "maybe if my son thinks that 'average' is nothing, then, I've done my job..." And that really is a fantastic line. While he doesn't approve of looking down on "average", he's provided a life for Cory where it's at least possible to do that. And that's beautiful, in a sort of sad way. What's interesting is that Cory's attitude toward being average didn't upset Shawn at all. I'm surprised he didn't have the sort of reaction that we're seeing from Alan.

It's time for that talent show we heard about earlier. HELLOUISE is twirling flaming batons, which is definitely a tough act to follow. Alexandra Necktie is giving Morgan a pep talk backstage, and eventually the singing happens. She's chosen "Wind Beneath My Wings," and she's a decent enough singer. Cory eventually joins in, singing the lyrics at his father as an impulsive apology.

Ben Savage really gives his all here, with hilarious results. But obviously it's supposed to be silly rather than emotional.

We never learn who won the talent show, which is probably the best way to go. Morgan winning would have been disingenuous and Disney-y (Like when Riley won that award on Girl Meets World recently? Holy shit I almost threw up). And Morgan losing would have just been a bad use of time. So anyway, Alan and his fuzzy headed son have one last heart to heart. Cory admits that it was just easy to blame his father, when it's really up to himself to make his own life something to be proud of. Alan explains that that's what life is, is finding your own validation, and some people do find it through their talent.

Good old Alan. I love what they've done here. Instead of going for the "everyone is good at something, you'll find your talent" which just feels straight out of Full House, he's explaining that validation can come from all kinds of places, which in his case was raising a family. Good stuff.

During the credits, Eric pretends to be electrocuted by his toaster to get mouth to mouth from Rachel.

It doesn't work. Real twist, I know.

Plot: 0.25 - Cory whines and complains and is mean to his family. Eric and Jack don't do anything.

Character Development: 1.0 - We delve deeper into the well-developed character of Alan Matthews, and William Russ gives a great performance as always.

Humor: 0.5 - Disappointing is probably the best word. Still funny sometimes, like the celery poster, but the laughs were scarce. This was the least-funny we've seen Eric in a loooooong time.

Life Lesson: 1.0 - "If my son thinks average is nothing, then I guess I did my job", and "Other people find it in other ways."

2.75 out of 4.0. The plot is extremely thin. This isn't what I was hoping for, where Cory tries to make something out of himself, like we saw a lot in season 2. He just bitches about it the entire time, without every actually doing anything. And we know he's capable! He joined the wrestling team, started a school radio show, he was a goddamn TV celebrity in Quiz Show! He is more than capable of being good at things, but he just sat around complaining. And we didn't see any character arc at all from Nechita, she just sort of dropped a trail of plot points, so we could move through the story. And I don't even wanna talk about The Apartment anymore.

On the other hand, Alan kicked some serious ass, and the Lessons were strong. So it's worth watching if that's what you're looking for.

Thanks for reading, see you Friday!

All images used under Fair Use.

Episode 6x04 "Friendly Persuasion"

It's freshman orientation in The Union with all twenty of the new students at Pennbrook. Cory and Topanga are making out on the couch since they have no shame. Angela wants to make out with Shawn, but he wants to spend this time meeting new people, which is the complete reverse of what we would expect. A cute girl named Cameron approaches Shawn, who then introduces Angela as his friend, but quickly corrects himself, causing Cameron to walk away. So now it's awkward.

I will say that it's nice to see Cory and Topanga acting like normal teenagers instead of Hollywood soulmates.

Angela isn't gonna quickly forgive Shawn for his "friend" comment, and it sounds like she might want to break up since Shawn's so interested in "meeting new people".

Elsewhere, Cory is still afraid of the co-ed bathroom (a fear born in the previous episode). Nothing comes of it though, it's just setting the groundwork for later. And there's a funny little bit where both Topanga and Shawn are impressed by the body of a muscular guy who walks in to take a shower. Back in The Dorm, Cory learns that Shawn and Angela have indeed broken up.

Shawn's wearing that shirt again. We've talked about Shawn wearing the same shirts a few times already, and now that I think about it, it makes sense. Shawn's too poor to have an expansive wardrobe. I doubt anyone on the show put that much thought into it, but it'd be nice if they did.

Anyway, it looks like we're going to be dealing with Cory The Relationship Expert Matthews today. Topanga joins the scene and defends Shangela's decision, but Cory continues his "They shouldn't break up! They should be like us!" routine. He specifically said he wants them to "be like us", conveniently forgetting that both he and Topanga went out with someone else not that long ago. What a preachy hypocrite.

In class, Eric, Jack, and Rachel have a surprising new classmate.

The class's teacher, Dean Bolander, shows up with her no-nonsense attitude, causing Feeny to immediately develop a big ol crush on her. She assigns group projects to the class, so Eric calls dibs on Jack, while Feeny and Rachel team up.

Meanwhile, Cameron and Shawn are occupying The Dorm with a rubber band on the doorknob.

Angela explains that she's fine with it, that Shawn can do whatever he wants, but of course Cory isn't going to let that stand. He tries to convince her that she shouldn't be so calm and accepting of this breakup, finishing with "I'm just trying to be a friend." That sets off the fireworks though, as Angela responds with "Let's not kid ourselves, you and I were never really friends to begin with." Cory is left speechless, and I think we all have to agree with Angela here. This is one of those rare dramatic moments that's actually supported by history. And perhaps that's part of why we never cared about her as a character. Cory is our gateway into the show, so if he doesn't care, why should we?

I really like that Topanga is straight up calling him out on this. Drama supported by what we've actually seen on the show, that is a treat.

Eric is showing off his karate skills to Jack before class begins, and I went ahead and made it the new background because it's hysterical and we were due for a new one. Dean Bolander arrives and starts class, asking for volunteers to present their project. Feeny volunteers, even though Rachel is terrified of going first. The topic of the projects is basically Nature vs. Nurture, and Feeny takes the stance that we might expect.

That's got Shawn Hunter written all over it, doesn't it? That's the theme of the entire Shawn-Feeny arc. And I'd say it's one of the most predominant themes of the entire series. When a Boy meets the World, it's less about what the World does, and more about how the Boy (or girl) reacts and adapts to it. So yeah. I like that Feeny's still sticking to his guns.

However, it is clear that environment does play some role, as Feeny cannot help falling into his old teaching patterns, going so far as to treat Dean Bolander herself as if she's his student. Rachel is able to overcome her environment, gaining the courage to speak to the class, but only to explain Feeny's inability to overcome his environment, calling him out for acting like he's the teacher. Interesting development, and Feeny's not really sure how to respond.

As you can see, Cory is intent on proving to Angela that they are in fact friends. Look at that ancient ass iMac on her desk in the bottom left, boy those were some times.

She doesn't want to deal with Cory's bull shit though, and I don't blame her at all, so she escapes to the shower since Cory's afraid of the coed bathroom. He's finally able to conquer that fear though, because he's "more scared of losing you". This strong desire to be Angela's BFF isn't exactly supported by history, but it is supported by the character. This is just the kind of thing Cory would do, based on everything we know about him. Doesn't mean it's logical, but it is justified.

KA-TRUUUUUUUTHHH

Ladies and gentlemen that was the sound of a truth bomb exploding, dropped from the fighter jet of Ace Pilot Angela. Damn, shut-down of the century. The best part is that Cory admits it, and asks for a chance to get to know her. Angela explains that it's too hard to be friends with Cory when she's still got feelings for Shawn. They back and forth for a while and eventually Cory wears her down.

That's one of Angela's best lines so far. Very mature. Shawn wants to meet new people and have his space, and she doesn't want to stand in the way of that. I think Cory is fundamentally unable to understand that concept, but he agrees to keep her feelings a secret, even from Topanga. So now that they've got their Secret of Enduring Friendship, they're going to try to be real friends.

We bear witness to the conclusion of Eric and Jack's presentation, as Eric summarizes with "Watches... chocolate... cheese... Ladies and gentlemen we give you the Swiss. Thank you." It's hilarious, but Jack is back to doing his "this guy is such an idiot, poor me" faces and gestures. Class ends and Dean Bolander explains to Feeny that teachers never stop being teachers, and advises him to apply for a teaching position at the university. Convenient. We can see the sparks starting to fly between Bolander and Feeny, prompting Eric to give the most elaborate Feeny Call of the series.

Will Friedle is a fucking genius. Matthew Lawrence back there is having a real hard time keeping his laughter contained. Obviously there's more than what's in the gif, but it's too long and it doesn't really translate to text... Anyway, that Feeny Call is amazing, and it looks like Feeny's gonna be back to teaching. During the credits, Cory, Topanga, Angela, and Shawn are all brushing their teeth at the same time. Cory and Angela are BLATANTLY smiling and winking at each other, it looks really stupid and obvoius.


Plot: 1.0 - Drama supported by history. Thumbs up. Feeny makes his way back to center stage.

Character Development: 1.0 - Cory and Angela are friends, Shawn is still at war with his hormones, and Feeny is going to be a teacher again.

Humor: 1.0 - Eric is fantastic, of course, but everyone else kinda fell flat. I was gonna go for .75, but that Feeny Call is just too good.

Life Lesson: 0.5 - "Free will decides behavior, and not one's environment." I like that they included that and still talked about how environment does inevitably have some effect. I would have liked it if that also could relate to Cory's half of the episode, but there isn't really anything to tie it to. Maybe that Cory won't let the environment of the breakup stop him from being friends with Angela? It's kind of a stretch.

3.5 out of 4.0. There's really nothing wrong with this episode except Cory's behavior. He is a bull seeing red when it comes to friendship, he's goes really hard. But like I said earlier, that's just who Cory is.

Thanks for reading, see you Wednesday.

All images used under Fair Use.

Episode 6x03 "Ain't College Great?"

That's a good one.

Cory and Shawn have finally arrived at their new college dorm, and Cory brought pudding.

As you can see, Shawn's hair has changed a bit since last episode, when he still had his wavy bangs. Now it just makes him look 40 years older. Put a beer gut on him and he looks like some angry New York taxi driver.

So Shawn doesn't want to be known as "Pudding Boy's best friend", and HOLY SHIT it feels like we're back in season two! We left the soap opera drama in the previous episode, now we're seeing our goofy hero in a new environment trying to find his way, and his cool best friend is keeping him in check. SHAWN AND CORY. OLD SCHOOL. BACK IN ACTION. Feels great.

Cory's parents and Morgan come in with the rest of Cory's luggage, and he tries to send them off with a "Well hey, thanks for raising me. See ya," which hits way too close to home. Amy's wearing overalls, which reminds me to be glad I haven't seen non-work overalls in a very long time. Cory's family leaves, prompting the arrival of the boys' girlfriends, who whisk them off to sign up for classes. Along the way, we learn that Cory is afraid of the co-ed bathroom.

Cory wants to sign up for challenging courses in the hopes of reinventing himself, in particular Existentialist Thought And Its Effects On Quantum Physics, while his friends are going to be signing up for basic introductory classes. You can already imagine all the cheap laugh we'll be getting out of that.

At The Apartment, it's another episode of Two Guys Want To Sleep With Rachel. So that whole "we have have to keep it platonic" thing from the end of last episode is already in the dumpster. Rachel's sobbing on the couch, surrounded by used tissues and snack foods.

The guys try to make her feel better. Jack is very sensitive and empathetic, while Eric is more fun and whimsical, reciting In a Cabin In a Wood with Rachel. You could argue that they're just genuinely being nice, and maybe they are, but Rachel lights a spark when she responds with "if you two were one guy, I would be in serious trouble." You really should have known better than that, Rachel. That is only going to cause problems.

Over at the Student Union/Bookstore place (which is the new Chubbie's, and I'll call it The Union from now on) Cory's friends are trying to convince him he's a huge fucking moron for signing up for a bunch of impossible classes. He doesn't listen though, since he's stuck on "reinventing" himself.

I love Topanga's face at the end there, like "huh that's actually a decent point".

On his way out of The Union, Cory crosses paths with his Quantum professor, who starts speaking total gibberish when Cory asks for a synopsis of the course. I think a lot of people enjoy this, but I think it's kinda dumb. I am more than ready to be disagreed with. Regardless, this has the desired effect on Cory who rushes off to some dean or other, though it's definitely not the same dean that Eric was involved with last season. I don't think we'll see that guy again, and looking back it seems they were smart enough to stop writing that character pretty early on. I think it was episode 4 that was the last time he appeared. Huh. I totally forgot about him.

Cory successfully drops his courses, but all the intro classes are already full. He pleads with this dean whoever guy to "please fix this", but the dean guy dishes out a serving of harsh truth.

First of all, college is not the real world. College is fucking easy and I wish I could have stayed there forever. So to answer the question in the title, yes. Yes it is great. Second, this shouldn't be a new concept for Cory. Even in high school you can't just magically get into a full class. And third, this is bull shit. There is an abundance of people eager to help you as much as they can. They want you to succeed, partly because the school makes more money if you stay enrolled. I don't know why TV shows like to make college seem so much harder than high school, and high school seem so much harder than middle school, but it's all crap.

The shot fades to Cory at a lake in Wyoming, accusing Feeny of not preparing him "for life". Right away we all know that's a bunch of HOOEY. For the curious, Cory got here with the air miles he's accumulated from his pudding labels. Silly, but at least they gave us something. After seeing how easy Feenys retired life is, Cory decides to stay.

Back at The Apartment, Eric's trying to seem extremely sensitive to impress Rachel, going for the "two in one" thing she mentioned before. At least Jack seems to have given up on these shenanigans.

And like... what are we even doing right now? Eric has always been sensitive! He's the most sensitive guy on the show! Certainly more sensitive than Jack. This has been completely fabricated just for this episode. Disappointing.

Rachel appears to be won over by this charade and uses her sexy voice to ask Eric to help her with her laundry. Jack and Eric both seem to think this is a big deal.

In Wyoming, Cory's acting like a tired old man, to hilarious effect, but Feeny insists that Cory is too young to be doing absolutely nothing, and realizes that he himself is also too young for this kind of life. It really is funny. It's always great when Ben Savage goes outside the normal Cory range.

That's Cory in the blue hat, if that's not obvious.

We're in the laundry room now, with Eric and Rachel, and lemme tell ya. Rachel has turned the sexy levels up to "Holy Shit".

She does a whole routine, blatantly trying to seduce Eric.

So yeah, he's like "you're not acting like yourself" and she's like "yeah neither are you." Woopdy woppy woodly doo ladies and gentlemen. Don't try to seduce your roommate unless you're acting like yourself.

Feeny tries to work things out with the dean/guidance counselor whatever guy from before, but no luck, so he and Cory wander into The Union, where they meet up with Topangela and Shawn. It turns out that they all signed up for an extra class specifically to drop it and make room for Cory in case he needed it. That seems like really vital information to share at some point during the first half of the episode. Either way, Cory is no longer screwed and we get to have a heartwarming moment with Mister Feeny.

I love that look he gives Shawn there at the end.

During the credits, Jack decides to bring out his "fun" side, the same way Eric wanted to be sensitive. (refer back to the logo at the top) So I guess Jack isn't actually above the shenanigans. The whole bit is really funny though, I'll give it that.

Plot: 1.0 - It feels like the old Boy Meets World again! Cory learning a lesson with the help of his friends and Mister Feeny. And Eric doing some unimportant yet funny side story.

Character Development:  1.0 - Feeny's not ready to retire! Woooo!

Humor: 1.0 - Eric was fantastic as always, and Cory was great in Wyoming. Feeny had some great lines too.

Life Lesson: 0.25 - Sign up for your courses like a not-massive-idiot.

3.25 out of 4.0. It's a great episode, lots of fun along the way, even if the Rachel story is the same shit we've seen in the last two episodes. Maybe someday we'll see something different in The Apartment. And we've gotta remember that bit about the co-ed bathroom. By same crazy twist of nature, that comes up again.

Thanks for reading, see you Monday.

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