Episode 2x10 "Sister Theresa"

Cory dates a stalker, but it's okay because she's good looking and eventually she lightens up.

Thanks for reading, see you Friday.





As you can see in the gif, Cory is being impolite to his mother today. She comments that if he were polite for an entire day, people would notice. So now we're at school, and Mr. Feeny gives us a poorly written, delivered, and timed joke.

Really? "Bless you"? Get this man a sainthood. And why the fuck did Mr. Feeny walk that kid out into the  middle of this hallway and then give him back the fire extinguisher? "Oh you just stabbed me with a knife? Well here's your knife back." Seriously, are you even thinking today Mr. Feeny?

And Eric looks like the guy from Dark Cloud with that sweater.

So Cory bumps into a pretty girl and knocks her books to the floor, but his plot-driven politeness compels him to pick them up for her. Did we really need the fuckin "be polite" background for this? Are you telling me Cory wouldn't have picked up her books otherwise? She's so impressed too! She falls in love with Cory on the spot because he helped her pick up the books that he knocked down. Talk about low standards. Any remotely empathetic human being would do the same thing. 

The girl introduces herself as Theresa, but her friends call her T.K. and she gives Cory her number. She's played by Danielle Harris, who continues to have consistent guest spots on various TV shows and a few B horror movies, which is understandable since she's a pretty good actress here on Boy Meets World. She was born in June 1977 and so must have been 17 when she was on this show. Add that to her checkered mini skirt and I, as a 21 year old, have absolutely no problem saying that she is FIIIIIIIIIINE 

AAAAAAAAAS 

HEEEEEELLLLLLLL.

as HELL. She is still ridiculously good looking today. But I'm sure you already checked.

That wink is hypnotic. Theresa manages to get herself transferred into Cory's homeroom to spend more time with him, so we're starting to see some red flags here.

The red flags continue.

This episode was written by Jeff Sherman, whose only other episode is 2x03, the one where we first met Desiree. I guess he's just the guy who writes the crazy girls on the show. Michael Jacobs is just like "we need some crazy, better call The Sherm. The Sure Man." And then Jeff Sherman pretends to laugh at "The Sure Man", even though he's heard that joke every day of his life.

T.K. also sent Cory a child-sized clown made out of candy, and a box of frozen steaks. Candy and meat are pretty awesome, but they haven't even gone on a date yet. Amy and Alan try to explain to their son that this girl is coming on too strong and too fast. But Cory's just like "fuck that noise I got a candy clown." 

At school the next day, Frankie the Enforcer, Joey the Rat, and Harley Keiner all have a new respect for our fuzzy haired protagonist. He naively chalks it up to his politeness streak because he's a moron. It's hard to know what kind of humor Cory's going to be doing in a given episode. Sometimes he's a sharp witted smart aleck , and sometimes he eats glue. Obviously I prefer the former, but in this episode Cory's dining on the not-macaroni half of macaroni art. It's not just this scene, all of his jokes have been pretty bad.

At least we can count on Shawn to know how to deal with women.

                                  

"Stop overreacting and relax" is the essence of Shawn's advice so far this season, and it's definitely good advice, but Cory ain't learnin. He does a poor job of cancelling his date with T.K. and she gets upset and makes Cory look like the bad guy. It's weird, ya know? She's genuinely just trying to be nice and to show her affection, but that affection is completely baseless. What's the right way to tell someone to stop being so affectionate? To tell someone that they shouldn't feel so strongly? I'm not trying to legitimize what she's doing, it's definitely obsessive, but this is a very real situation (usually with the genders switched), so it's interesting to think about.

Joey the Rat interrupts Turner's class, and tricks Turner into going to check on his motorcycle. Then shit gets real.

Battle of the red shirts over here. 

"Do you happen to know why?" At least we got some smart aleck Cory back in there. 

And suddenly the title of the episode makes sense. Except in syndication they never show the names of the episodes so what's the point.

Threatened with agonizing death,

Cory agrees to go out with T.K. as planned, and if he's not a perfect gentleman, Harley is going to send Cory down to Davy Jones's Locker. I don't think that expression works here. 

AHHAHAHAHAHHA-

NO.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

God, I'm so sorry Will Friedle. I'm so sorry you have to endure this. Some day, some day you'll get good lines, I promise. Stay strong.

Now Cory and T.K. are at a drive in movie, with Frankie the Enforcer as their chaperon. Theresa gives Frankie money to go buy snacks, leaving her to jump Cory's bones. However, Cory rebuffs her advances. But why? Is he actually trying to slow things down and get to know her? Or is he just scared of being drawn and quartered by Harley? If Harley's threat is the only thing keeping Cory from catching Chlamydia in the back of this car, then what's the point? "Don't fuck a girl if her brother will murder you"? Is that the lesson?

 Anyway, in an effort to pacify Theresa, Cory starts talking about baseball. That's sort of meta-funny, since there's that saying that you should think about baseball to lose an erection, but that's probably unintentional. T.K. gets this sad look and tells a story about a time her shitty dad ditched her at a baseball game and Harley had to come help her. It's sweet, but Harley (T.K reveals that his name is actually Harvey) can't really be redeemed at this point.

Cory escapes through the sunroof with the help of Shawn, who's been lying in wait for just such an emergency. Pretty sure that scene was directed by Michael Bay. At school the next day, Harley's pissed and wants to murder the little Matthews boy, so Cory tries desperately to convince Harley that Theresa was the one making moves, and not him. Harley naturally doesn't want to believe it, but some conveniently located upstanding gentlemen corroborate Cory's story. That's fun to say. Corroborate Cory's Story. 

The guy second to the left has the same shirt as Cory. Once again, they clearly need me on the set of this show to make sure that shit doesn't happen.

Cory and Harley have a sort of heart-to-heart and neither one murders the other.

During the credits, Theresa is having dinner at Cory's house and tries her hardest to be polite and stuff.

And she's still the best looking girl on this show. Is there a word for those thin side bangs the arrow is pointing to? I love those.

Okay so this wasn't as bad as I remembered. Jeff Sherman has succeeded in bringing us another insane female character who I really like. Shit, my entire romantic history suddenly makes sense. Regardless, I don't think I'm a fan of how this one ended. It seems like they're telling us that something was fundamentally wrong with Theresa, and with this change at the end she is closer to being "correct". Yeah she came on too strong, but at the end here she's completely changed the way she dresses, speaks, and behaves, and I just don't like that message. 

Either way, her family is clearly wealthy, she's very good looking, she's fun, she likes Cory for who he is, and dating her prevents bullying from Harley. ...Topanga who?

Plot: 1.0 - It was fun and interesting, even if I didn't like the ending. 

Character Development: 0 - The only person who changed at all was Theresa, and she changed for the worse. It's honestly a little depressing. 

Humor: 0.75 - It was funny, but also anti-funny. Eric got shafted again. Cory is funniest when he's with Shawn, and Shawn was mostly absent. Frankie and Joey made up for it, though.

Life Lesson: 0 - I don't even know what they were going for. 

1.75 out of 4. I really genuinely wish we got to see Theresa again in the future. She's just compelling. I feel like I know more about her than about Topanga. And it shouldn't be that way. 

Thanks for reading, see you Friday. 

Clips and images used under Fair Use.