Episode 4x03 "I Ain't Gonna Spray Lettuce No More"

I just watched The Wolf of Wall Street. Frankie the Enforcer had a supporting role in that movie, which is awesome. Right next to Jonah Hill and Leo fuckin DiCaprio. Good for him.

Our boy Eric's down in the dumps after getting passed over for a job at The Gap. He says a few odd things about how "I'm Gap", which must be a reference to some ad campaign they ran in the 90s. I don't get it. Apparently Eric was underqualified, and he claims that a monkey could do that job.

I'm glad that people don't try to wear T shirts with sweater vests anymore. It's like, the mullet of shirt combinations. Put a polo under there, fine, but a t shirt? 

Alan is also down in the dumps. He doesn't like his job or his salary, and is determined to ask his boss for a raise. We jump ahead to that evening when Alan returns home. His boss did indeed offer him a raise of $5000 a year. Alan's response was to quit. Wuh oh.

Cory starts freaking out about being poor, Eric is a little shellshocked, Morgan isn't important enough to have lines, and Amy is pissed that her husband would make such a huge decision without talking to her first. Alan's big plan is to go into business for himself, and hire Eric, killing two birds with one nepotistic stone.

This is the second episode in a row we've had Cory wearing a polo with his pants up to his belly button, I'm not sure why they're intentionally making him look ridiculous, but it's happening.

Amy's final solution is to keep a family-changing, huge decision in her back pocket, and use it whenever she wants, in the spirit of the equal-partnership of marriage. At school, Cory recruits Shawn to teach him how to be poor. Eric arrives on campus to talk to Mr. Feeny, and the writers have not missed a BEAT. We haven't seen this pair yet this season, but it's as wonderful as ever. Perfect chemistry, hilarious dialogue.

Eric had originally scheduled to talk to Feeny about getting a tutoring gig, but has instead informed his old mentor that he'll be forsaking that pursuit in favor of working for his father. Indeed, Eric and Alan are set to attend a thing with a long name that I don't wanna type that's some sort of workshop for starting your own business.

That's where we are in the next scene, and all the tables set up at this workshop are dumb. We get a long pitch from the guy behind Poo-pourri, it's pretty funny, but our heroes aren't interested. At home, we learn that Eric's got his heart set on opening an Agner's House of Strudel, as he pitches the idea to his mother. 

I've been saying for a while that Cory shines brightest in a supporting-comedy role, and that definitely holds true here. Regardless of whether the plot is centered on Shawn or Eric, Cory is always at his funniest giving commentary on the goings-on of that main character, like we've been seeing in this episode.

Alan, in contrast with his oldest son, wants to open his own Rapid Mart. Amy recognizes that this is the easy way out, and that her husband won't actually be happy doing something he hates, even though he defends himself by saying that he will enjoy being his own boss. What intrigue! Maybe he is going to Spray Lettuce No More.... Some More... More..? This is why double negatives are frowned upon, they're hard to work with. Ultimately, Amy doesn't support his decision to start a Rapid Mart. The two talk outside later, and it's pretty good stuff. Amy knows that this Rapid Mart won't actually make him happy, and she can only support what makes him happy. But our favorite dad is stuck, torn between his responsibility to his family and his desire to make something out of himself.

This is easily the most realistic and thorough mid-life crisis I've seen on television, and they even set the groundwork for it back in the season opener. And this is one of Amy's better showings. She's usually kinda boring, but it's awesome to see her really push her husband to not take the easy way out. In that way, she's sort of Alan's Feeny. Also I'm assuming Amy is still working her... art gallery job? Real estate job? She's had both in the past, I don't remember which is more recent. They just completely neglect to even mention whether she's employed or not, which is weird.

In the next scene, Cory has followed Shawn's plan to be experimented on to make money. The location? I think that should be fairly obvious.

I mean where the fuck else is it gonna be? Chubbie's? 

Well yeah, actually, that would be my next guess.

Topanga doesn't approve, but the boys go through with it anyway. They're going to be testing some new shampoo, which is ultimately brought in by a guy in a hazmat suit. He drops the beaker, alarms go off, the scientists bail the fuck outta there, it's pretty funny.

Apparently Eric and Alan went on a camping trip to clear their heads of all this job stuff, and have come back fully refreshed. Evidently they had an excellent time. The pair are regaling Mr. Feeny with the tale in their shared backyard, and Amy joins the gang as well. Mr. Matthews comments that he'd like to bring her along next time he goes camping, and Feeny suggests they pick up a two-person sleeping bag from a specific camping store, I think the name he says is Kimball's.

I love this show. There's at least one instance per season of Feeny implying that he's swimming in ass. Next time he's at Kimball's he needs to buy a god damn snorkel. Anyway, Alan mentions that Kimball's is one of his favorite stores, and he'll definitely stop by.

Now we're at Chubbie's where a broken Cory has purchased a hamburger. Shawn arrives, because that's what people do at Chubbie's, they arrive, and is appalled by Cory's lack of frugality. Cory starts crying and saying it's his parents' fault, that sort of thing, it's pretty funny and you can see Rider Strong trying not to laugh. In the end, Cory earns his best friend's forgiveness by offering half of his hamburger. I guess that's the end of that arc, and it was awesome.

The Matthews family is at Kimball's now, and Eric and Alan incidentally demonstrate to the owner that they know their shit when it comes to camping. Amy talks with the owner, Kimball himself, and learns that the store is up for sale (Kimball is getting on in years). In fact, he was just telling that to his buddy, George Feeny. Oh Feens. Feenerson. Always lookin out for those Matthews boys, all three of em. 

Amy decides to play her "crazy decision without consulting anyone" card, and buys the store for her husband. He's apprehensive at first, but realizes what a great opportunity this is.

Your first instinct is probably to write this off as Hollywood-Magic, but Alan did put out a good deal of effort looking for the right job, and they only found this one because of Feeny, so I'm totally fine with it.

During the credits, Feeny enters the shop as Alan, Eric, and Kimball are sorting out some logistics. Eric pulls Feeny aside for a private tête-à-tête. He's worried that he'll ruin everything since he knows nothing about business and pleads for help from his mentor. 

Feeny suggests a more general, complete education than simply addressing today's particular problem of dealing with some accounting books, and he ultimately agrees to help Eric learn the basics. What a swell guy.

Plot: 1.0 - A lovely mid-life crisis that we were totally prepared for after episode 4x01, Eric's still searching for his place, and Cory's Adventure In Poverty with his best buddy was a ton of fun.

Character Development: 1.0 - Amy and Alan both had some splendid characterization in this episode, and again, Eric's taking a few more steps toward his future.

Humor: 1.0 - Hilarious from start to finish. Everyone had great jokes, except Morgan, but she wasn't anti-funny either, and that's about all you can hope for.

Life Lesson: 1.0 - First of all, it's never too late to find happiness. Alan put in the work and ended up in a job he's really excited about. It wasn't free, he had to struggle before he found it, and I appreciate that. In the end, I guess he did get kind of lucky, but whatever. He didn't want to settle, and that's the main takeaway. Also, the Feeny quote in that last gif up there.

4.0 out of 4.0. This episode kicks ass for a hundred different reasons. That should be apparent by now. I love this episode, and I love that they thought Alan deserved this attention. This is a classic, I will never get tired of this one.

Thanks for reading, see you Monday.

All images used under Fair Use.

Episode 4x02 "Hair Today, Goon Tomorrow"

Eric and Cory wake up in the morning and the status quo is accurately depicted below.

Yes, Cory has reached the phase of teenagerhood where he hates what he looks like, and who can blame him. Contrast this with the studly ass perfect-camera-angle-holy-shit-those-bangs Eric beside him. And honestly, I can't blame him. He's lookin like a big ol goofygoof right now, so the makeup crew or lighting crew or whoever are doing their job.

At school, everybody's fixing their hair in their locker-mirrors, except Topanga, who doesn't need to exert effort to look nice. As such, some guy tries to hit on her and then gives her his "card", which, I dunno, there's just no way people actually do that, but what do I know.

Cory's not doin himself any favors with his pants up to his nips like that.

Topanga starts doin that "it's what's inside that matters" self righteous crap, and Cory points out that it's real easy to think that way when you're naturally good looking. THIS IS THAT REAL SHIT. Every other show is gonna end on "looks don't matter", but Cory knows what the fuck is up, and he calls Topanga out. To try to prove her point, Topanga pulls out a pair of scissors and cuts off a big chunk of her hair, but she quickly freaks out.

Cory chases his girlfriend into the girls' bathroom, where the roles are reversed. Cory is now preaching that looks don't matter while Topanga has begun to have self esteem issues. There's really not much to say, it's basically the same conversation they had in the hallway.

I don't think I've ever heard "goosey goosey" outside of this scene, but it sounds funny. Let's all make "goosey goosey" a thing. Then Topanga heads off, promising to go to a beauty parlor. Shawn emerges from that left stall there and he and Cory hang out on the couch.

At home, Eric continues to steal the show. He's been lounging around the house in a bathrobe all day, eating breakfast cereal and watching cop shows. As such, he's invented a concept for his own cop show, "Eric Matthews, Good Looking Detective", and a theme song to go with it. This scene is hysterical.  will never stop loving this scene. It's everything that Eric is. Will Friedle has perfectly mastered this character. His mother insists that he get out of the house, and suggests he find a date, since he used to go on dates all the time.

Now we're at a beauty parlor where Topanga's getting her hair all sorted out, and our heroes are worried. If Topanga was a looker with her natural hair, what sort of dark magic will she be capable of with the help of a professional stylist? She does indeed come out looking pretty stellar, stellar enough for Shawn to try asking her out. Topanga decides to go to the mall with her recently upgraded hotness, leaving Cory to interrogate Topanga's stylist. It's like a two minute bit whose entire basis for humor is the fact that the stylist switches from a fake Italian accent to his actual Boston accent, and I ain't laughin. The dialogue between Cory and Shawn leading up to this was fantastic, A+ stuff, but this crap with the stylist is just a total misfire. It doesn't even contribute to the story.

Yeah I ran that through Google Translate and it didn't come up with anything, so I'm not too sure what she's tryin to say there.

Over at Chubbie's, Eric has heeded the advice of his mother and is currently on a date. His date looks like a... doll...? I don't know. It's something, there's something unsettling about it. Maybe her hair just doesn't match her face? Either her hair or face on its own would be fine, but together they're not working out.

Anyway, they talk about how Eric thinks he's seen it all, what with his internship and cross-country traveling, and being eighteen years old. But this girl is estranged from her parents and works double shifts at the Dairy Queen to support her two year old son. You aren't in Pottstown anymore, Eric. And so our boy realizes that he's extremely fortunate to still have the support of his parents and to not have any real responsibilities. So once again we're building more of Eric's character as he learns where he really stands in society. It's one thing to hear Mr. Feeny tell you over and over that you have potential, but it's much more impactful to sit here at Chubbie's and be like "oh shit, I don't have any kids, and my parents are letting me live at home for free, I have so many options open to me right now."

In Turner's class, the man himself is passing out copies of The Elephant Man to the class, and explaining what it's about. This is one of those fabled literature tie-ins, even if it's half-jokingly tied in: Cory obviously isn't horribly disfigured, but he's feeling pretty insecure. So that's fun. Feeny interrupts class to remind everyone that picture day is on Friday.

Cory pays a visit to that same stylist who worked on Topanga and the audience laughs at his accent again. Cory drops 75 fucking dollars to become beautiful or whatever.

At home, Eric's mumbling his cop show theme song into a bowl of cocoa puffs. He's feeling even worse than before due to that new layer of "I'm relying completely on my parents". But good old Alan Matthews kicks him into high gear.

Topanga is checking her hair and makeup in that same girls' bathroom at school, and Shawn emerges from a stall once again. Topanga defends her actions, claiming that everyone in high school is obsessed with how they look, but Shawn points out that she never cared before a few days ago. It's kinda bull shitty, but Topanga realizes that this isn't who she wants to be and dunks her hair under the faucet.

It doesn't really address Cory's concerns from the beginning of the episode. It's real easy for Topanga to decide not to worry about her appearance when she's good looking regardless. Shawn obviously isn't going to stop worrying about his hair, so what are they trying to tell us? I think the point is that obsessing over your appearance is normal, and it's okay and you shouldn't feel bad about it, but maybe still aspire to rise above it? It's not completely clear to me what we're supposed to take away. It's a shame because I praised them earlier in the review for being so real, but this is pretty standard stuff.

Topanga rushes to the beauty parlor where Cory's just finished receiving his makeover, and the joke is that he looks exactly the same.

During the credits, we see Eric's fully produced crime show theme song. This entire Good Looking Detective gag is honestly one of my favorites in the whole series, probably top 5. It's so campy and tongue-in-cheek, I absolutely love it. You can find this entire clip here, and I suggest that you do. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcKXFwOpD7Q

Plot: 0.5 - It wasn't bad, but honestly what even happened? An impromptu haircut in the hallway, and then two haircuts at a salon. 

Character Development: 1.0 - Topanga sort of changed, but then changed back? And I guess Cory isn't going to be insecure about his appearance anymore, so that's good.

Humor: 1.0 - 'CAUSE HE'S THE GOOD LOOKIN GUY. GOOD LOOKIN GUY.

Life Lesson: 0.5 - Like I said, it's too conflicting. Everything Cory said at the beginning is still true, and they didn't even touch on the fact that everyone is too busy worrying about themselves to notice other people's imperfections, and that's some really good advice that I would have expected from Boy Meets World. This one kinda dropped the ball.

3.0 out of 4.0. It's a really funny episode. REALLY funny. Except for the stupid accent stylist guy. Fuck that guy. Who wrote that crap.

Thanks for reading, see you Friday.

All images used under Fair Use.

Episode 4x01 "You Can Go Home Again"

I told myself I was going to post this one on time, but I had to catch up on Mad Men.

So yeah this is the season with the car intro, where clips from previous seasons are playing in the various mirrors, and it doesn't really make a lot of sense. I guess it's intended to be a play on the word "reflections", but a title sequence is supposed to show you about the current season, not old ones, so I think it's dumb. ON THE OTHER HAND, the music is pretty damn sweet, I'm not gonna lie. I like the song a lot. Also, you can see Eric in the driver's seat there for a split second, he's blatantly not watching the road or even steering the car.

Anyway, recall that Cory and Eric left on a cross country road trip for the summer at the end of season 3. We're coming up on the end of that road trip now and, to Eric's great annoyance, Cory has been talking about Topanga no matter where they go.

It kinda defeats the whole "let's get to know each other" resolution they made at the end of season 3 though.

They're currently three hours from home, but Eric's stalling with an impromptu stop at Pottstown, home of the world's largest yogurt cup. Pottstown is a real place, but it does not have such a cup. At the Matthews house, Mister and Misses are going out to the "Grocie Awards", and Shawn and Topanga show up to wait for Cory. They banter, nothing important.

As you can see, this is the season where Rider Strong has obtained perfect mastery of his pouty-lips.

Some saxophone music takes us back to Pottstown with the Matthews Brothers. Eric's busy chatting up a local girl named Irene, who works at one of those restaurant-but-also-a-convenience-stores, so Cory goes off to the "Parade Of Sprinkles". I've never understood sprinkles on yogurt. Yogurt is not ice cream, nor is it cupcakes. It should not have sprinkles. People also should not be topped with sprinkles, but Pottstown is doin their own thing, clearly unhindered by my oppressive sprinkle fascism.

Amy and Alan come home from the Grocies, and Alan won a Grocie, in an unspecified category. Amy's pretty proud of him, the supportive wife that she is, but Alan is suddenly unsatisfied with his life, terrified by the thought of feeling pride in being a grocer. "Sudden-Onset Acute Midlife Crisis," Doctor House exclaimed, with an air of arrogant satisfaction. Wonderful. It's been a loooooong time since we've seen character development from Alan, and if you've been with me since seasons 1 and 2, you know how much I love Alan's character. It seems the writers realized that Eli was a mistake, and now we're back on track.

We return to yogurtopia. The boys have a motel room so Eric can get cleaned up for his date with Irene, and we hit the essence of Eric's current crisis.

"All my friends did". Jason got into college, confirmed, it's canon.

It cuts to the motel room again, I guess it's later that night after Eric's date, and Eric is putting on a different shirt. So, I mean, draw your own conclusions. Cory really wants to go home so he swipes Eric's keys and bolts. For some reason the motel leads into the... convience store slash... restaurant.. place... where our pal Eric hoodwinks his little brother.

Cory makes the world's worst Braveheart reference and goes off to, I dunno, hitchhike I guess. Irene comes up behind Eric, surprised that he hasn't ditched town yet. Eric is being the sweetest guy in the universe right now, it's honestly heartwarming. Irene is really insecure around Eric, since she's lived in Yogurtville her whole life while he just got finished traveling the country, and in her frame of reference Eric comes off pretty smart. I mean let's face it, there probably aren't any Mr. Feenys in Pottstown. She gives him a kiss because he's being so sweet and making her feel special. Awww.

Think about what's going on here. Eric is suddenly the big man on campus. For the first time, he has the most life experience and education out of everyone in the room. He's spent his entire life being really challenged by his environment, forcing him to grow and explore his potential (thanks in large part to Mr. Feeny). But Pottstown is the opposite. Irene is the anti-Feeny. He's completely content here, no one has expectations for him, he's already impressed the most attractive girl in town. There's suddenly no room for improvement. This is a fantastic test of Eric's character. One of my toughest professors in college told me once, "If you want to be the biggest fish, stay in small waters." Obviously Eric isn't going to stay in these small waters, but I'm excited to see him arrive at that decision.

Side note, Irene is actually a pretty good actress. She's played by Marisa Ryan, who was on 96 episodes of a show called Major Dad from '89 to '93, but not much else since then, which is a shame.

Back in Philly, we get some more time with Alan and Amy in their back yard. Alan's still down in the dumps about, in his opinion, not doing anything with his life. Right on cue, Mr. Feeny comes out to join them. Fuuuuuck yes. This is a treat we have not seen at all in season 3, I don't think.

Is that the first instance of profanity on this show? I think it is... Neato. So yeah, Mr. Feeny explains that doing something you enjoy is really all that matters. The talk wasn't all that I was dreaming it would be, but it was still refreshing to see this dynamic in action again.

Cory time again. He's walking along the road, looking for a ride, when something peculiar happens. An Amish guy rolls up in a horse-drawn carriage and offers to take him as far as "that farmhouse, there". If you've seen this episode you surely remember this scene, it's really just bizarre. I mean, it's funny, but it's just a total non sequitur. It would be a waste to try to explain it further, you have to watch it to understand. Ultimately, Cory declines the ride, so it's a uniquely strange scene.

Back at the restaurant store, Eric enjoys pea soup and pie prepared by Irene. Those are not sexual euphemisms. I don't think. Maybe. When she hands him the plate of pie she says "it's the pie that keeps you here forever", and we see an old guy who's been here for a long ass time.

Eric learns that the storestaurant is most likely going out of business, now that a new highway is diverting traffic past their town. Eric suggests they put up billboards for miles leading up to the town advertising their pie and pea soup to bring in more people. This impresses the shit out of the local products of incest, who tell Eric that he could do really well in Pottstown. So we're seeing some more buildup of that contrast between Eric's life in Philly and the one he could lead here. Good stuff.

Prince Cory decides to call whatever the word is for the father of a king Alan, who shows up a few hours later. Papa Alan pulls Eric aside and they hash things out. Alan doesn't say it explicitly, but it's clear that Pottstown for Eric is analogous to his own job at the grocery store. It was the easy and comfortable choice, and Alan spent his life trying in vain to convince himself that it was what he really wanted.

Fuck to the fuck yes. A+++++. That's what I'm talking about! That's Boy Meets World right there baby. Telling teenagers that real shit they need to understand. Welcome the fuck back, Alan Matthews. I missed you.

Eric explains further that he's scared of going back home, and then his father tells him that you can always go home, which is almost verbatim what Alan tried to tell Shawn back in season 2 when Shawn blew up that mailbox and tried to run away from home. It should be clear by now that the "Boy" in the title isn't just Cory. It's Cory and Shawn and Eric. And Alan. Even Feeny and Turner, and Joey and Frankie. All different walks of life meeting the world in different ways. I love this show.

Eric waves a wordless goodbye to Irene, who returns the gesture with a look of hopeful understanding. During the credits, Cory reunites with Shawn and Topanga in the kitchen, but Cory's been a side-character this whole episode so who cares.

Plot: 1.0 - The Pottsyogurtville Adventure was a great contrast to the Ericlogues we've seen in the last three seasons. Alan's story was great, and the two plotlines merged together smoothly at the end. My one complaint is that they didn't address whether Eric and Cory had successfully gotten to know each other and become closer as brothers. That was the intention of the road trip, and it was sort of left by the wayside.

Character Development: 1.0 - Eric has made the decision to grow and face his fears rather than settle into complacency. Alan made some personal progress as well.

Humor: 0.5 - It wasn't exactly a standout episode for humor, but it was still fine. It's not that the jokes were bad, there just weren't very many of them.

Life Lesson: 1.0 - If you want to be the biggest fish, stay in small waters.

3.5 out of 4.0. A fantastic start to the season. We're left hopeful for the further development of Eric and Alan as the season progresses. Cory is pretty much exactly where we left him, but that will probably change in the next episode.

Thanks for reading, see you Wednesday!

All images used under Fair Use.

Episode 3x22 "Brother Brother"

Is the title a play on Sister Sister? I don't know what else it could be, but that would be a pretty dumb title.

It's the end of the school year, finally, so Eli and Turner are giving Eric back the things they've confiscated from him over the year(s?).

The real Feeny comes up to Eric to chat and the joke-bat keeps hitting home runs. The chemistry between Eric and Feeny is completely undeniable at this point. They're just too perfect together. Aside from the laughs, we also learn that Eric's been turned down by a few more colleges and is on the waiting list for North Southwestern San Diego State. Further, he plans on traveling the country during the summer. That was a pretty damn good minute and a half. That's honestly one of the strongest opening scenes so far in the series.

On the other side of the hall, Cory and Topanga are clearly still high on getting-back-together. If you've ever "gotten back together" with someone, I don't need to tell you about that first week or two. Regardless, Topanga's going away to summer camp, and Cory wants to go with her, mostly-jokingly.

Topanga lookin 90s as fuuuuuuck.

So yeah, Cory's super bummed out that his girlfriend is going to be gone all summer, and it doesn't help that Topanga isn't nearly as upset about it. Or upset at all, really. Eric tries (unsuccessfully) to cheer his little brother up.

The Feeny puppet would cheer me up in ANY situation. Seriously, that is the funniest thing I have ever seen. Cory's just bein a big ol' Debbie Downer. Shit, who's good at crafts and stuff? Start mass producing Feeny puppets, make millions of dollars, and send me one for free.

Actually, send me two. Shut up, you can afford it.

Now Shawn and Cory are at a park somewhere, which is new and exciting. But uh oh, Shawn's gonna spend the next two months traveling with his dad. What's a poor lonely Cory to do.

Now we're in Cory's kitchen and he's the mopiest mope ever. His parents suggest hanging out with Eric before he leaves on his car trip, but Cory fires back with all the times his brother has bailed on him for shitty reasons, and it's actually pretty emotionally charged. It's about time Eric had to face what a shitty brother he's been. Morgan offers to hang out with Cory, but then remembers that she has "day camp" all summer. So why isn't Cory going to camp, you ask? Apparently his parents tried to send him once before, but they had to come get him after only a few days.

Okay so that's basically all of the setup, I think. Just explaining why everyone is unavailable for the summer so that we can really hash things out between Cory and Eric. And sure enough, after Cory goes upstairs he has another argument with Eric. "We only spend time together when you're stuck with me", "I'm your last resort", that sort of thing. Things escalate, they tussle, and Eric resolves to leave the next day. My only real problem with this is how overdue it is. But I guess Eric leaving for college is enough of a catalyst for Cory to finally want to deal with this shit.

We jump forward to Eric's going-away dinner at Chubbie's the next day. Naturally, none of Eric's friends are here because we've never met any of them on the show. Except Jason, God rest his soul. Feeny, Turner, and Eli are here though, as are Shawn and Topanga, so... this is more or less the shittiest party Eric has ever been a part of, but he's taking it in stride. Feeny gives a nice little speech and shows Eric his framed diploma.

Feeny pretends not to love that hug, but we know the truth. I would love to get a closer shot of all those signatures on the banner. I would say that the party happened earlier, and Eric's friends have all gone home, but none of the food has been eaten, so I can't really piece this one together.

Cory decides to say a few words, the essence of which is "we shared a room for fifteen years and I don't even know you". Then Cory slinks off. And I mean, he's not wrong. All they've ever really done is take jabs at each other, except the one time they were "THE MATTHEWS BRUTHAAAS". But this is pretty much the exact opposite of "THE MATTHEWS BRUTHAAAS". 

The next morning, Cory's already gone off to say goodbye to Topanga by the time Eric wakes up. We get like two and a half minutes of Eric having a heart to heart with his parents. It's pretty well written, but it's definitely not tuggin' my heart strings like it's supposed to. I think that comes from the fact that Eric's interactions with his parents have been really limited this season. Morgan comes down too, and her cuteness is exploited by putting her in goddamn footie-pajamas and she gets sad and stuff. She said "ass shit cunt" in the previous episode, so I think she's a little old for footie-pajamas.

We jump over to the park where Cory says his goodbyes to Shawn and Topanga, and tries his damnedest not to show them how upset he is. It's dusk now, lookin like Twilight Princess in here, even though it was morning in the last scene. Cory sucks at solo-basketball for about 20 seconds, and then Eric shows up. Apparently he was "halfway to Jersey" and came back for a proper goodbye.

Cory reveals that he swiped the most recent letter from North Southwestern San Diego State from the mailbox out of spite a day earlier, and now gives it to Eric to open. (Recall that Eric was just on the waiting list.)

Ho Ly shit, where are the tissues. That shit breaks my heart every single time. WHY ARE YOU SO REAL, BOY MEETS WORLD? How do I even process this? All season we've watched Eric try to get his act together and make it into college, but it wasn't enough. No Hollywood magic here folks. This is one of the best decisions they ever made on this show, painful as it is. And you really have to hear it to get the full effect, Eric's tone is the most hollow and lifeless thing you've ever heard, it really is devastating. And that's good television.

Eric is about to cancel his celebratory road trip, but realizes a better idea is to take Cory along with him.

The credits-scene is much more lighthearted, and is basically just the boys joking around with their family and Mr. Feeny before taking off on their trip. Nothing really worth quoting in a gif. Eric's definitely told everyone that he didn't get accepted to college, since Alan reminds him to check out some colleges while he's on the road. So there was a HUGE opportunity that's been wasted here. I would give every penny in my bank account to see Eric telling Mr. Feeny that he got rejected from North Southwestern. Can you even imagine? Just thinking about their facial expressions is making me well up.

*At Feeny's back door*
"Uh, hey, Mister Feeny."
"Ah, Mister Matthews, one hug isn't enough for you, hm? This is an exciting time for you, I'm surprised you haven't already left."
"Mister Feeny they rejected me. I'm not going to college, and it was silly of me to ever think that I would."
"...Your dreams, Mister Matthews, are not silly."

Buuuuut that's not how it went down. Oh well.

Plot: 1.0 - It's about time Cory and Eric bridged the gap between them. This was a good story that definitely needed to be told. And like I said, the part where Eric reads the letter, that's some good writing.

Character Development: 1.0 - Eric and Cory get closer, Eric is faced with the fact that he's been rejected from college.

Humor: 1.0 - Consistently funny, and of course THE FEENY PUPPET.

Life Lesson: 1.0 - Brothers are important, and don't assume you're getting into college until you actually get accepted. 

4.0 out of 4.0. This is the last episode with Eli, if I remember correctly, and Turner has a considerably smaller role in the next season. They each got like two lines in this episode, so that was a little send off for them. It's funny, it's powerful, and it's real as fuck. That might as well be this show's motto.

So that's it, season 3 is over. 3 out of 7. Almost halfway. The MVP for season 3 is, without a doubt, Eric Randall Matthews. Consistently hilarious, an engaging and compelling character arc, amazing acting... Definitely the best character this season. I think that might be what sets us apart from everyone else. The people who really love Boy Meets World understand how incredibly important Eric is to the central themes in seasons 3 through 7. Once you stop seeing him as a side character, and instead see him as the other main character, there's a lot more to appreciate about this show.

As always, thank thank thank you for reading what I have to say. I'll be back on the 12th for season 4, with a fun new title animation. See you then.

All images used under Fair Use.