Episode 3x08 "Rave On"

The jazz music during the title sequence sounds like game-show-contestant-walking-down-to-the-stage, mixed with some heartbroken blues.

Eric's throwing a rave, as is indicated by the number of "ILLEGAL RAVE THIS FRIDAY" posters around the hallway. Cory doesn't know what a rave is, and even Mr. Feeny points out how lame that is. I would prefer not to do another story about Cory feeling like a loser, so hopefully that doesn't turn into anything. He does, however, threaten to tell their parents if Eric doesn't invite him to the rave, and Eric caves.

The pay phone is back, and that punch-out clock from 3x07 is gone. Also, thanks for all your feedback on the text. I'll stick to the yellow, and I am now using the "Calibri" font, which was my intention when I accidentally used "Cambria" for a while.

So as if we couldn't guess, the rave is going to be at Chubbie's while Chubbie is out on a cruise. But wait, Friday is also the Matthews parents' 20th anniversary, which Eric forgot about when he scheduled the rave. Cory chews him out, but obviously Cory didn't know until just now either, so hey, shut up Cory. Let's play a game where you win if you name one sitcom that never used an anniversary as a plot device. You lose. On the same token though, both Mr. and Mrs. Matthews themselves remembered, so it's not horribly cliche. And we get this thing, which I distinctly remember from the first commercial I saw about this show.

Topanga's father, Jedediah, shows up with the guitar Amy ordered from him as a gift for Alan. Jed is played by Peter Tork, bassist for The Monkees, who also played this role back in 2x22. In that one, it was career day at school, and he did in fact describe his job of making guitars. So this is a rare showing of continuity. Micky Dolenz, also from The Monkees, reprises his role as Alan's best pal Gordy as he helps Alan carry a new bathtub/jacuzzi upstairs. As in his previous appearances, he's got some funny lines and great delivery. He clearly has a lot of fun being on this show, and it's always a treat when he shows up.

WHHHAAAAA?!! THE TEXT IS MOVING WITH THE CHARACTERRRRRR???!!!!

THIS IS THE BEST BLOG YOU'VE EVER SEEN??!! IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO SAY??!!!!

As an aside, I remember that the anniversary in season 2 was their 18th anniversary, so we have indeed skipped time. We already knew that though, I just forgot to mention it: Turner commented that Shawn is 15 a few episodes ago, and he was in 7th grade in season 2. Also Eric is a senior now and I'm pretty sure he was a sophomore in season 2. So that all points to missing one year between seasons if we assume that Shawn is in 9th grade and has a birthday early in the school year. At the beginning of this season, it was heavily implied that Shawn had only been staying at Turner's for a short time, but for the sake of putting this to rest, I'm willing to say that there was actually an entire year that we didn't see.

On the other hand, last season's anniversary episode was after the Christmas episode, while this anniversary episode is before the New Year's Eve episode (no Christmas this season). So the timing doesn't make any sense. But then, who would notice other than me.

That kind of analysis is why I started this blog in the first place. I'm just glad I found an audience who wants to hear about it.

Now something odd happens. A posh Englishman named Reginald Fairfield arrives at the Matthews house. Apparently he accompanied Amy and Alan on a backpacking trip in Europe and Alan promised Reginald there would be a couch waiting for him if he ever visited the states. Well Reg is here to collect, even though Amy and Alan barely remember who he is. It's sort of a "wait what?" kind of funny, and both parents have some great lines here. I'm just soaking this in as much as I can only Odin knows when it'll happen again. Also it's a little less "wait what?" now that I've seen who this actor is. It's Davy Jones from, yyyyyup, The Monkees.

Amy overhears Eric talking about a "secret party" while he's on the phone, which she interprets as a surprise anniversary party. Then Cory overhears Amy telling Alan what she's just learned. Lots of eavesdropping going on in this family. So now it's up to our heroes to try to turn their rave into an anniversary party. Cory begins by recruiting Messrs. Turner and Feeny to come to the party.

Best line in the series? Possibly.

Reginald Fairfield shows up and starts stalking Feeny. A couple girls, the two behind Feeny at the beginning of that gif actually, are talking about how lame it is that the rave's been cancelled, and wish they could meet a guy with the stones to go actually host one. Eric overhears, and I mean, one of the girls is wearing a tartan skirt, so, honestly, what options does he even have.

Later that night, Cory, Shawn, and Topanga arrive at Chubbie's for the party and see a line of ruffians and scoundrels trying to get inside, while Frankie the Enforcer is on bouncer duty. Eric has relaunched the rave because, like I said, tartan skirt. "Good news bro, we're throwin both parties." Things are not going well inside. There's a huge crowd already and nobody wants to cooperate. Cory is informed that his parents are outside trying to get in.

Frankie is wise beyond his years, that's for sure.

They did some weird shooting with these scenes, some of the people in line right now were inside just a second ago, including Jay from Jay and Silent Bob.

So Eric has decided to convince his parents that everyone at the party is either related to them or a family friend or whatever. Gordy and Reginald Fairfield have some dialogue here, reminding the audience that two members of The Monkees are currently at this party, so there's really only one way for this to end.

Either way, it doesn't take long for Amy and Alan to catch on to what's going on, thank goodness, and they're pretty fuckin disappointed in their sons. I also want to point out the lack of Morgan here. From the beginning of the season until now, it's been reasonable to just brush it off as "she's not around" or whatever, nothing wrong with that. But in this episode, we're looking at a blatant disregard for her existence. What's weirder is that they reintroduce Morgan with a different actress only six episodes from now. I feel like a small amount of rearranging could have made this work. In fact, airing this episode later in the season (with the new Morgan) also would have made the timeline match up with last season's anniversary (a few episodes after New Year's/Christmas).

Back on track, Amy and Alan want to leave, but the third Monkee, Jedediah, arrives with Alan's guitar gift. Seeing the guitar gives Cory the idea to have the band they booked for the rave play the song that his parents danced to at their wedding. But Frankie the Enforcer did some enforcing earlier and didn't let the band into Chubbie's. WHO CAN POSSIBLY FILL IN FOR THEM?

Remember that episode of Scrubs where J.D. has a fantasy about what would happen if life were more like a sitcom? And at the end Clay Aiken sings Turk and Carla's wedding song to win some money for the hospital? Yeah, this ending here is exactly what Scrubs was parodying in that episode. But hey, it's cool to see the Monkees play. And it's pretty convincing! I think they're actually playing live here. If not, at least their guitars are plugged in (lookin' at you, RHCP).

During the credits, a man played by Dave Madden tells Gordy, Reginald Fairfield, and Jedediah that he wants to be their manager. This didn't make any sense to me at first since I didn't actually know what The Partridge Family was about, but now I do, and Madden played the manager on that show. So this makes sense. But boy is that joke dated. The Partridge Family ended its run in 1974, so they were really stretching for this bit. Either way, he ends by telling the musicians that they "could be bigger than the Beatles." Not exactly funny, but it brings the whole Monkees-inside-joke-meta-humor thing to completion.

Plot: 0.75 - It was great until the painfully predictable ending.

Character Development: 0.5 - I'm grasping at straws here, but it was nice to see Eric and Cory actually work together on something.

Humor: 1.0 - Absolutely non-stop humor from start to finish. Definitely the funniest episode so far this season. This is a prime example of how funny Boy Meets World can be. There were a few dead jokes, of course, but you can never expect 100%.

Life Lesson: 0 - The Monkees will always have your back.

2.25 out of 4.0 - I tried to throw some extra points in plot and CD because I genuinely enjoyed watching this. The score doesn't do it justice, this episode is hilarious. Obviously I've shown a preference for the life-lessony episodes of this series, but sometimes it's just so funny, with fantastically written dialogue, that it works purely on comedy. Finally, I'm gonna throw out a Monkees bonus badge, because hey, they're the Monkees and people say they monkey around, but they're too busy singin to put anybody down.

The guy in the top left did not make an appearance. Micky Dolenz looks hilarious with an afro.

Thanks for reading, see you Friday.

All images used under Fair Use.

Episode 3x07 "Truth and Consequences"

Shawn and Cory are making some sort of documentary in the cafeteria. They get some footage of this sasquatch lunch lady and her jello, and Cory comments that she was formerly the nanny for the Gorbachev family. The audience does not laugh at this because they're a bunch of tools.

Oh okay, that was actually the finished product, and the students were watching it in Eli's video journalism class. Well it was shit and nobody liked. Eli wants them to redo their report since they're going to be putting on some sort of public access broadcast in a few days.

I'm trying out white font instead of yellow today. Maybe it's easier to read, I don't know. Somebody leave a comment.

After school, Cory and Shawn are at Turner's apartment (it should be understood at this point that Shawn is living there) filming some woman across the alley who dances around her living room in a towel every day at 5:30. Turner comes home and ends the voyeurism, explaining that "exploiting someone's body isn't news." He then turns on a tv news channel to prove his point, but the news is running a story on breast implants. BOOM SOCIAL COMMENTARY. Nice one, Boy Meets World. And that's actually not the first time. When we learned Eli's backstory we heard a similar story about new stations reporting on bull shit, so this seems like an issue that Michael Jacobs felt pretty strongly about. Neato.

At lunch the next day, there's a bit between Feeny, Eli, and Turner about the gorgeous women interviewing to be Feeny's new secretary, but it's mostly a flop. Across the room, Cory and Shawn decide they're going to find a scandal to report on. Just then, Joey the Rat comes in with some tires asking if anyone needs to buy tires, and additionally offers to sell the boys some tube socks since, according to the man himself, "everybody needs tube socks!" They reckon that if they follow Joey around, they'll find the scandal they want. It's interesting, Cory and Shawn are now looking to Joey for the same reason that I look to him when I watch the show: he gets to do things that nobody else can do. He's a criminal doing whatever criminal thing is relevant to the plot, but it's always got that tinge of believability.

It's time for the Ericlogue to begin, and this one's actually pretty funny. A "science lady" is conducting a dream research study in, conveniently, John Adams High- Turner's classroom in particular, since that's the only room they built a set for. She wants to pay Eric some money to sleep for a while so she can monitor his brain activity. As anyone would be, he's pretty excited about getting paid to sleep.

We jump ahead to the news broadcast being conducted by Eli's class. Topanga is anchoring, and she sort of turns into a diva about the whole thing. It's humorous, but the audience is taking it a little far. Eventually, she announces the Cory's investigative report on the subject of... Janitor Bud.

Turns out, Bud is leaving early every day and pays Joey to go punch his card out at 5:00. That's.... actually a well thought out scandal, all things considered.

After the broadcast, Feeny reveals to the boys that he's going to have to fire Janitor Bud because of what they've uncovered. They're feelin pretty rotten. Next day, nobody wants to talk to Cory and Shawn after they've exposed Janitor Bud, and indeed Mr. Feeny mercilessly fires the old man, even though he could retire with a full pension after two more months.

Our favorite thug JoeJoe comes along to inform our heroes that they didn't get the whole story, pointing out that they don't even know where Janitor Bud was going every day.

Honestly, this is Joey's finest moment. He has a lot of lines here, and they're all perfectly crafted to his character. His timing and delivery and posturing are all spot on. I had trouble choosing which part to make into the gif.

Anywho, Joey reveals that Bud has been leaving early to go bet on horses, which Joey finds acceptable. Cory however remains steadfast in his belief that what they did was right. Janitor Bud comes back real quick to tell the boys that he knows it's their fault, and inflicts "the janitor's curse" upon them.

Back in the Ericlogue, Eric wakes up from his nap and the science lady informs him that he registered absolutely no brain activity while he was sleeping, which she calls remarkable, and Eric's pretty proud. I think this is funny. It's obviously silly, but it's a smart sort of silly. Compare this to the Eric-based humor from season two and you can see just how much they've changed this character. The general consensus is that it was a change for the better, and I definitely agree.

At lunch, Shawn slips on a plunger and blames the Janitor's Curse, and then they face the scorn of the other students for getting Bud fired. This might sound ridiculous depending on what your high school was like, but I remember at my high school we had this janitor that we all called "Lightning." I'm not sure if anybody knew his real name, but we called him that because he was pretty spry and quick for an old dude. The point is, Lightning was awesome, and if somebody got him fired, there would probably have been hell to pay.

On the other side of the cafeteria, Turner and Eli discuss the consequences that Cory is currently facing, and Eli realizes he probably shouldn't have put so much pressure on Cory to find a real story.

At home, Amy and Alan take opposing sides on whether or not Cory did the right thing, but nothing really comes of it. Which is depressing. Another wasted opportunity to get some valuable wisdom from Alan. Matter of fact, Eli is almost certainly going to be the one giving the advice here, so again we can see how much the show has changed from seasons one and two. Also Eric got a letter from U. Penn saying that they want to study him.

And indeed, now it's time for the Eli-Cory talk at school. It's actually pretty decent. Eli explains that journalism is naturally a gray area, that there's no right or wrong, adding the concise yet powerful insight that "It's a tough game when you care." Maybe this is just me extrapolating beyond their intention, but that's a pretty good line, relevant to almost every aspect of life. Not bad, not at all.

Eli and Cory visit Mr. Feeny to try to get Bud his job back, and learn that Bud has in fact been hired as Feeny's new secretary so that he can get to his retirement. So that's why they mentioned the women interviewing for the position earlier. Smooth.

During the credits, the Ericlogue concludes as a team of scientists are watching him sleep (in Turner's classroom again). As before, he shows no brain activity during sleep, while the field mouse being studied shows quite a bit.

The science lady is played by Kathy Trageser, who hasn't done anything since 2003, and her most noteworthy role was something on 22 episodes of "Team Knight Rider", which was some shitty ripoff of Knight Rider that got cancelled after one season. But that's sort of interesting, since William Daniels (Feeny) was the voice of K.I.T.T, the car on the original Knight Rider series. Full circle.

So yeah, this episode was good! The Ericlogue was funny without trying to be too important. Shawn and Cory actually had a reasonable school assignment with reasonable consequences. I always love when I'm not quite sure how to feel. We in the audience experienced that same gray-area that Shawn and Cory did. The absolutely insufferable I'm-going-to-puke conclusion would have been Bud being rehired as janitor, and I probably would have preferred him just straight up getting fired to really drive home the idea of facing consequences. But, being hired as Feeny's secretary is an acceptable middle ground, especially for the target audience.

Plot: 1.0 - Maybe I'm just used to bad stories this season, but this one seems pretty solid. It was believable and entertaining, and I couldn't be certain how it would end (the first time I watched it, anyway).

Character Development: 0.5 - Cory and Shawn didn't change much, but we saw Feeny's heart of gold at the end, and Eli's character became a little more fleshed out

Humor: 1.0 - Great work from the whole cast, Joey in particular deserves another shoutout.

Life Lesson: 0.75 - I dunno, I wanna give it the point, but they really don't even try to extend the "it''s a tough game when you care" to anything outside of journalism. If they had even MENTIONED that that could apply in other aspects of life, I woulda gone for the full point.

3.25 out of 4.0. It's about damn time. Pretty sure that's the first plot badge of the season, and I still don't think we've had a life lesson badge. All I know is, 50% off week at Dominos starts today, so it is very much pizza time.

Thanks for reading, see you Wednesday.

All images used under Fair Use.

Episode 3x06 "This Little Piggy"

Shawn has taken in a stray pig and brought it to school to show Cory. How could this possibly be bad?

Oh, what did you say? You don't see how there can be any conflict in that premise? Boy are you wrong. Topanga doesn't think Shawn is capable of taking care of the pig, and wants to find a better home for it. IN YOUR FACE, CHECK OUT THAT CONFLICT.

GUESS WHAT ERIC'S GOT SOME CONFLICT TOO. Home boy wants to go to college, and so he asks Mr. Feeny for advice about what colleges he can get into, in particular he asks about Yale. But get this, get this, get this, get this: he mispronounces it! Wheeeeeeeeeeee

Good lord... I don't know if I can do this one, you guys... Who the hell is writing this shit? "Mark Blutman and Howard Busgang"? The same guys that wrote Who's Afraid of Cory Wolf and On The Air? IMPOSSIBLE.

This is just blatant fucking pandering. Like, if I was gonna write a shitty movie with an animal in it, the shittiest movie you could imagine, these are exactly the jokes I would be making. We're at the Hunter/Turner apartment right now, and lemme list what just happened:

The pig licks Turner's face while he's sleeping and so he thinks he's dreaming about making out with a woman, wakes up and is grossed out. And all of the pig noises are BLATANTLY just stock sounds of a pig, it's not matched up to the pig's mouth at all. Next Shawn feeds the pig with a baby bottle, and the crowd goes awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, and there's some more stock sounds of sucking noises. It's just.. it's so fucking lazyyyyyyyyy. Probably the laziest writing I've seen on this show so far. 

Cory comes over and they make a few dumb jokes, and then Shawn sets the pig on the floor so that he can talk to Cory in private. The pig walks offset and the crowd is in hysterics. It's just a pig walking. I don't get it. What's the appeal?

Either way, apparently Topanga is still upset with Shawn for keeping a pig in his apartment. Turner's not having a great time of it either.

Mr. Feeny has some contacts at Yale, so Eric tries to bribe him with tickets to an opera, hoping Mr. Feeny can hook him up with Yale. I can't fathom why a man who has taught elementary school in Philadelphia for most of his life has contacts in the admissions department at an ivy league university in Connecticut, but I guess that's just Feeny for you.

Shawn has somehow brought the pig with him to Chubbie's and is impressing some women of varying hair color with his compassion for animals. Who woulda thought. He even gets them to buy food for him and the pig. Hell, who am I kidding, I'm just jealous.

Topanga and Cory are also at Chubbie's, obviously, and Topanga's not happy that Shawn still has the pig. She's patronizing (matronizing..?) the shit out of Shawn over this whole thing, and she's definitely supposed to be the bad guy here, but she does make a good point.

So now Cory's gotta choose a side. His best friend and his girlfriend are at an impasse and they both want his support. Now there's some Boy Meets World. It took us 10 minutes to find it, and it's wrapped up in nonsense, but that's actually a perfectly legitimate adolescent problem to address. Ultimately Cory sides with Topanga. 

Oh my god, now he's getting advice from his parents. Just like the good old days ;____; This is nice, we've got a very brief window of good television here. Let's see if it can hold up. Also, in the back of this scene is a whiteboard with a numbered list of some kind. The first item says "Eric goes to opera", which is something that hasn't happened yet in the show, so I'm wondering if it's like an outline of the rest of the episode, but I can't quite make out numbers 2 through 4.

Now we're at school and it's lunchtime. Shawn's managed to bring the pig to school again, and it's having lunch with him. I don't think there's been a single scene where this pig hasn't eaten something. It's probably having a pretty good time out here. Cory tries to patch things up with his best buddy, and Shawn explains that the pig's previous owners (some family in the trailer park) just abandoned the pig and got outta Dodge. He then draws the parallels between the pig's abandonment and his own, which is genuinely sympathetic. It's not stated explicitly (even though it totally should have been), but Shawn is effectively doing for this pig what Mr. Turner did for him. This emotional outpouring sways Cory over to Shawn's side, and I gotta say, I'm on board too.

Now it's time to convince Miss Lawrence. Cory has invited her over to Shawn/Turner Kingdom to show her how great the pig's doing. She arrives as Shawn is giving the pig a bath. But before you know it, the pig is missing. Goobers.

Shawn blames Topanga for leaving the door open, but she blames Shawn for having the pig here in the first place. The trouble doesn't last long, though.

Topanga reveals that she called animal control to come take the pig away from Shawn and Cory's like "well that was a super shit thing to do, Topanga" and leaves with Shawn to try to hide from animal control. Mr. Turner explains to Toperoni that this pig really means a lot to Shawn, and that he really does take good care of it, and she realizes that she fucked up.

Next scene is Eric and Feeny at the opera. Eric's bored and is about to bail, but then Wagner's Ride of the Valkyries starts playing, which he recognizes from some Bugs Bunny cartoon and regains interest. So I guess they're seeing Die Walkure, the second of four operas in Wagner's The Ring of the Nibelung cycle. I don't know how they could possibly even enjoy that without the context of the first one, I mean that's just preposterous, what are they thinking.

Inexplicably, the animal control guy found his way to Cory's house, where Shawn and Cory are hiding out. He's ready to take the pig away, and Shawn asks for a chance to say goodbye, to which the animal control commando specialist officer brigadier complies. 

It's a shame that one of my favorite jokes in this series is in such an unfavorable episode. That was hilarious though. Admit it. I mean, it's fuckin Richard Karn! From Home Improvement! He's hysterical, even if that show was kinda bad. 

But wait! Topanga arrives, saying the pig's real owner is with her, and is ready to take it back home. This is indeed a ruse, as Turner comes in and says the pig belongs to his son, Zed. His face and the way he says "Zed" is really funny, but maybe only because I've had a couple drinks at this point.

Turner comments, "Hunter, I must really like you." And it's actually genuinely sweet. 

During the credits Feeny and Eric agree to go to a ballet and the philharmonic together in the future. Adorable.

So yeah this was 75% garbage. Like just take any movie or cartoon where the plot centers around "oh here's a baby, let's engage in some WACKY HIJINX" and then replace the baby with a pig and you've got this episode. I really don't understand why they decided to do this. "Hey guys we're already season 3, IT'S ABOUT TIME WE DID AN ANIMAL EPISODE. WHEEEE." It's horrifyingly predictable but at least we got some meaningful parts with Turner and Feeny, as well as Cory having to take sides.

Plot: 0.25 - It deserves that much for being unpredictable. I honestly wasn't sure how it would end. And the Feeny/Eric opera story was reasonably interesting.

Character Development: 1.0 - Because whatever. Cory had to get through choosing between his best friend and his girlfriend, and was ultimately able to call out his girlfriend on her bull shit when it really mattered.

Humor: 0.25 - Like I said, it was mostly the same type of humor you'd see in a movie or a cartoon where they have to take care of a baby or whatever. Or any other animal movie. 

Life Lesson: 0 - Pfffffffff

1.5 out of 4.0. I am not impressed with season 3 so far. Not at all. Which is odd, I definitely remember liking it. I mean, like I keep saying, it's not bad, it's just not Boy Meets World. Season 2 was a lot better. Hopefully it picks up.

Thanks for reading, see you (probably) Monday. Life is busy and I have a million things to do. I really would like to post on schedule, but sometimes it just doesn't work out. 

All images used under Fair Use.

Episode 3x05 "Hometown Hero"

It seems like the music over the title sequence is changing every episode. It's usually some type of jazz. I've decided to start reviewing that too. This time it was 7-P.M.-In-Vegas-So-It's-Not-Quite-Time-For-The-Good-Shows Opening Band With Just A Hint Of Daytime Talk Show.

Holycrapwe'reinchemistryclass. There's beakers and test tubes and spiral notebooks, this shit is legit. 

That's a pretty good opening shot! They threw that table in the foreground to make it look like this room is a lot more crowded than it is. Cool. Although, I'm not sure why Cory and Shawn are being so antisocial. And the lab coat on the teacher? Maybe it's tongue-in-cheek, I can't tell. Anyway, our boys have a lab report due by the end of the day, and they have done zero work. We get a short clip of the teacher, Dr. Sorrell, telling a jock that he doesn't have to turn in the lab report on account of having sports to play. So it's made pretty clear right away that this guy is a bastard, but if I had a PhD and ended up teaching some punk ass kids I'd be a little crabby too. This guy is one ex-student junkie away from Walter White.

In a truly unprecedented move, Cory and Shawn stay up really late that night to do their lab reports (off camera) and then break into the lab through the window to turn them in (on camera). Shawn's flashlight dies, so Cory finds some matches. If he can find matches, surely he can turn in a paper, but fine. Sitcom+matches? How many guesses do you need?

Shockingly, blowing air at the fire doesn't put it out, so they retreat back out the window. Cory quickly realizes the potential disaster of this situation.

So Cory hurries back inside to pull the fire alarm. The next morning, Janitor Bud confronts our heroes, saying that he knows what they did, and pulls Cory aside and into Turner's classroom. Here we are presented one of the most bullshitty things we've ever seen.

Mr. Turner and Eli are here too. So all these students, Feeny, Turner, and Eli were just waiting in this room while what? Janitor Bud goes to find the student he saw pull the fire alarm the night before, who happened to be standing right outside the classroom? We put up with a lot from this show. We do. And that's fine. It's television. But this is a little hard to swallow. Did Bud just round everybody up and say "hey sorry but I'm going to put your class on hold, everybody wait here for a minute"? Ugh.

So yeah, during the previous night's events, Janitor Bud was sleeping in his janitor closet, he woke up to the fire alarm, and saw Cory running down the hallway. Bud claims that Cory saved his life. Naturally everyone applauds Cory as a hero (oh hey, that's in the title of the episode, HOW FUCKIN COOL IS THAT) except Feeny, who's lookin pretty skeptical..

As you can see, being a hero has its perks. Dr. Sorrell comes around and gives Cory his lab report back, saying he got an A, even though the report has been mostly burnt away. This mirrors the special treatment given to the jock earlier. It's funny how every single person who plays sports on this show wears their letter jacket constantly. It's literally their only defining characteristic.

The scene fades out and then back in on a solitary Shawn. Topanga comes up and says "Shawn, there you are. We've gotta meet Cory."
"Where?" Shawn asks.
And then Ms. Topanga Lawrence takes two freshly sharpened, needle pointed Dixon Ticonderoga #2 graphite core pencils and skewers our eardrums with them as she answers:
"The rally in the caf'!"

THE RALLY IN THE CAF'!

THE RALLY IN THE CAFFFFFF

I feel like I need a shower.

So the RALLY IN THE CAF happens. Cory gives a speech and really starts hamming it up, milking the crowd and embellishing the fire alarm story. There's like twenty people in here, tops. Shawn is visibly unsettled by his best friend's transformation. Later that night, the same sort of thing happens at home.

They used caps lock on the banner, that's how you know they mean it. Reminds me of that birthday episode of The Office. Cory decides to lie to his parents while that "woah this has taken a turn for the worse" music plays.

At school the next day, Cory concedes that things are getting slightly out of hand, but explains that he doesn't want to go back to being same old Cory Matthews. We've apparently got cool-headed aloof Shawn for this episode, since he replies "What was wrong with him?" Well what the fuck is wrong with same old Shawn Hunter every time you decide to throw a hissy fit, hmmm? Two can play at that game!

Anyway Eli's used his contacts in the news business to get Cory's entire family a spot on the evening news to regale all of Philly with his heroic tale. Mr. Feeny is like "maybe you'll tell the whole story this time". It's pretty clear that he doesn't believe any of this crap.

You guys ever notice that Feeny's always doing something with his hands? Watch his hands while he's saying his lines. I always see Patrick Stewart doing it too, maybe it's an old-British-actor thing. *EDIT* William Daniels is not British and I should be ashamed of myself.

Cory decides to call one of those advice radio shows and explains that he's feeling scared and guilty. The advice person suggests he watch the news later that night for an inspiring story about brave Cory Matthews who saved his school. It's kind of a weird thing to just throw into the story here. Up in his bedroom, Cory banters with Eric and Shawn. Nothing particularly funny or interesting, just a bunch of wasted time since this episode has almost no content.

I swear, if Alan doesn't get to give some kind of awesome speech at the end of this, I'm going to have a very bleak outlook on the rest of the season. He's right here. It would totally make sense to let him have the lesson this time. Don't let me down, Boy Meets World.

It's about time to start the live broadcast in the Matthews' living room, and off to the side Shawn is stealing everything from the refreshments table.

This is certainly the funniest thing to happen in this episode. THEY WANT YOU TO TAKE THE ROLLS. It's all in his face. Rider Strong has such a handle on Shawn's character at this point, he's just like "yup, gotta steal this stuff." 

Cory wanders out to his backyard while his family waste time on the broadcast and finds Mr. Feeny. Ahhhhhh yes, here we are. Back where we belong. Alan didn't get the lesson, but a backyard moral from Feeny is just as good. 

Is it just me or is that a little unsatisfying? Before this, he also said that a firefighter can be a hero, and that a man who worked a dead end job to support his family for a couple decades was a hero as well. And that's all true, there's nothing wrong with what he's saying here, but... like... Everybody knows this stuff. Mr. Feeny usually gives us a gem of wisdom that he's been polishing for his entire life. Like I said, I agree with his definition of a hero, but it just doesn't feel like a Feeny-lesson. It feels like a fortune cookie.

So yeah, Cory admits to his parents that he started the fire. And they are genuinely incredulous that Cory started the fire. LET US REVIEW, MONSIEUR AND MADAME MATTHEWS. Cory sneaks out to the school in the middle of the night to turn in his paper. When asked earlier in the episode, he claimed to have been in the right place at the right time. AND HIS PARENTS BOUGHT THAT! This kid has a curfew! Are they seriously not more interested in why their son was out by the school in the middle of the night just before a fire started?! I can't believe for a second that Feeny is the only one with suspicions. Topanga isn't even suspicious. And what happens at school now? Apparently people know truth since Janitor Bud takes away Cory's locker opening contraption, but everyone else acts like they've already forgotten. Forgotten about breaking and entering and arson. Blech.

Plot: 0.5 - I'm being generous.

Character Development: 0.25 - Ultimately, Cory was glad to be back to "same old Cory Matthews". So he really didn't change at all. You could argue that he has higher self esteem now, but we all know he's going to forget it in a few episodes from now.

Humor: 0.5 - I'm being generous again. They gave a lot of punchlines to Eric, and most of them didn't land.

Life Lesson: 0.5 - I like Feeny's point about heroes, but it's just really weak in this context, like I explained earlier.

1.75 out of 4.0. I still feel like we're missing that Boy Meets World charm from season 2. There isn't anything to make this stand out from other teen-centered sitcoms. Nobody is using their fucking common sense in this episode. "Well that's TV." Fuck TV, this is Boy Meets World. I expect more, dammit. That's why I started writing this blog, because BMW is better than the rest of TV. And frankly, it's better than this episode.

Thanks for reading, see you Friday.