Episode 1x20 "The Play's the Thing"

It's time for the spring play, which I guess only involves Mr. Feeny's class. He is in charge of literally everything at this school. The opening scene is mostly Feeny assigning roles to the students. Cory gets the lead, Prince Hamlet, and Shawn is going to be a spear carrier. You know. Like Sheen in Macbeth In Space.

I fucking love Sheen. And Principal Willoughby back there almost looks like Mr. Feeny.

Well that only took half an hour... Back to the show.

There's a sub plot about the Matthews family's annual vacation to the Jersey Shore (back when people took it seriously), which includes a Goofy Golf Tournament. Cory and Alan vs. Eric and Amy. Apparently the latter is consistently victorious, but Eric is willing to throw the game if Cory lends him some money, which Cory neither accepts nor refuses. 

In class, Cory's being a huge brat about the play. He wants to make it more like an action movie because I don't know why and ultimately quits the play because he's a dumbass.  

        

                                      

WAIT A MINUTE. WAS THAT..???! IT'S....! IT'S HIM! HE'S BACK! It's the same kid playin his fuckin Game Gear in the window sill! (see episode 16's review) Like, he actually walks up, sits down, and takes it out of his backpack. I don't think he's even in Mr. Feeny's class. Wow, I love that guy. Is he secretly the main character? Where the hell is his spinoff?

Anyway. Yeah. "Prince Haagen Dazs". Pretty damn funny. That's a good scene, and naturally it required Minkus's finesse.

The trip to the Jersey Shore has been cancelled since Alan got a pay cut. Cory suggests that his father stand up for himself and throw his weight around to get his original salary back. Alan actually considers it but his dear wife reminds him that it's not wise to take career advice from a 12 year old. (Either this aired out of order or Cory turned 12 in the previous episode, not 13. Probably the latter.) 

This is something magical about the first season. I can't think of a single dialogue between Amy and Alan that I didn't love. They are amazing together. It's odd that I've never talked about this. They are hands-down my favorite TV parents. They're flawed and they know it, they flirt and fight and banter and laugh, they're well-developed characters... they're real. Well, except for the episode where Shawn blew up a mailbox but forget that one. 

I want to give an Amy and Alan Matthews Bonus Badge. They're perfect.

A caption would only ruin it.

Since Cory quit the play, Mr. Feeny had to switch the roles around. Minkus got Hamlet like he wanted, and Shawn has been upgraded to Polonius. 

Miraculously, Game Gear Man is not in the window sill during this scene. Is he in class? Does GGM even go to class? Maybe he only comes to school so he can sit in the window sill. Come to think of it, where is everyone? Apparently Minkus is a terrible actor, and Shawn's getting pretty into the whole thing. 

                                       

This is awesome! It's wonderful to see Shawn being passionate about something. The best part is that it's believable. Theatre is one of those things that you can't fully appreciate without actually being on stage. Anyway Cory watches everyone rehearse and it's another great scene (thanks again, Minkus).

That's actually what he says.

After watching rehearsal, Cory realizes that he fucked up pretty hard, but Mr. Feeny isn't going to kick Minkus out of the role. Cory still thinks Shakespeare is boring so Feeny does a monologue from Hamlet and it's fucking bad ass. 

Back at home we learn that Alan confronted his boss, but didn't end up quitting. We get a life lesson here and it goes beyond the standard "don't be a quitter" spiel. The real message is that you can't make selfish decisions when people are counting on you, which is exactly what Cory did when he quit the play. We're seeing the pattern of this show now, where the sub plot usually only exists to tie the life lesson into the main plot. Sometimes it's pathetic, like episode 19, but this one was spot on. 

The outro bit consists of a rogue spear carrier ruining the play. What the fuck scene of Hamlet is it supposed to be anyway? 

Okay so Minkus starts from line 129 here. http://shakespeare-navigators.com/hamlet/H12.html

The stage direction immediately before what Minkus is saying is that everyone except Hamlet exits the stage. It doesn't look like that happened here. For real though, that soliloquy is fantastic. You can actually hear Minkus saying "Or that the Everlasting had not fixed his canon 'gainst self-slaughter." In other words, "it's too bad God doesn't like suicide." Isn't that awesome?! In my entire public school career Hamlet was never assigned to me. Too busy reading garbage like Everyman and Waiting for Godot and A Streetcar Named Pbbtthhh. 

This is the best episode so far. The story is a ton of fun while maintaining believability. It's hilarious. We see character growth from Shawn, Cory, and Alan. The life lesson was good too, particularly its presentation. We feel genuinely bad for Shawn when he pleads with Cory to come back to the play. It's a very real example of Cory letting everyone down, so Alan's lesson fits beautifully. 

This was written by the dynamic duo, Ed Decter and John J Strauss, who previously gave us episodes 9 and 15, which were also fantastic. (And 7 but shhhhhhhhhhhhh)

We never did learn why Eric wanted to borrow money. 

Go watch this episode. I loved it.

4/4 with all the badges and an Amy and Alan Matthews Bonus Badge. 

See you Friday.

Clips and images used under fair use.

Episode 1x19 "Kid Gloves"

It's time to select extracurricular activities, despite already being well into the second semester. This scene... is wonderful. It's a golden nugget of pure Boy Meets World joy. Mr. Feeny is overflowing with sarcasm, and Shawn and Cory are doing their "dumb humor", the term I'm going to use to describe those jokes which are founded on characters being unintelligent. Dumb humor is something that all sitcoms try to use. It's either hilarious or painful, and the deciding factor is predictability. You can see every punch line coming in an episode of Two and a Half Men or Big Bang Theory, but on Community or Modern Family or Boy Meets World the characters are dumb in surprising ways. There are several good examples in this opening scene, but here's my favorite.

And of course Mr. Feeny's condescension is a delight, as always. I recommend watching this scene in its entirety. If memory serves, the rest of this episode stinks so let's enjoy it while we can.

It's Cory's (presumably 13th) birthday and his father gives him a necklace with little silver boxing gloves on it. Cory isn't very happy with his gift, especially since Eric got a buck knife for his (presumably 13th) birthday.

Alan is hoping for an outpouring of emotion from his son, but Cory doesn't really have much to say since he doesn't understand the gift. Morgan is used to getting presents on her brothers' birthdays, but Alan and Amy have decided to discontinue that tradition. So our favorite father is stuck with two disappointed children. 

It's almost time for Scuba Club so we're in the domain of all non-standard scenes, the cafeteria. As Cory, Shawn, and Topanga reveal their bathing suits, they each garner their own cheers and woos from the audience, which is... I dunno... uncomfortable to say the least.

There's some banter and it's not funny and Mr. Feeny turns out to be the dive master because who else was it going to be.

We're over halfway now and there just hasn't been much to say. It's like they had two underdeveloped episode ideas, one about Scuba Club and one about the silver gloves, so they decided to throw them both in a saucepan, sprinkle in some bad jokes, and stir it over medium heat until it was 22 minutes long.

Cory lost the gloves at the pool during Scuba Club. Alan comes into his sons' room to explain the significance of the gloves to Cory. Eric comments how much he loves the knife he was given, and the other two Matthews men do this: 

I don't have the slightest idea what this means. My guess is that it's supposed to mean "what a pile of a crap", and they're miming shoveling a pile of crap. I don't know what else it could be.

Alan explains that he won the silver gloves by getting 2nd place in the entire U.S. Navy for boxing. It's a cool story and it makes Cory feel like shit.

Cory sneaks off the pool where Scuba Club occurred to try to find the gloves, leaving Eric to cover for him with the story that he went to Shawn's for dinner. This cover is jeopardized when Shawn shows up. It's really convenient that guests always show up at the door where the Matthews family is. 

                                       

Shawn: "Why didn't he just call?" 

Remember when Shawn tried to sabotage Minkus's hamburger with salt and pudding, and he commented that he's "just not happy unless [he is] doing stuff like this"? Maybe he just intentionally makes trouble for Cory all the time. Maybe that one line with Minkus's hamburger is the secret to the entire series. Shawn is really just a master genius troll, intentionally ruining Cory's life.

We get some first person footage of Cory swimming, and he sees a bunch of random stuff but can't find the necklace. Mr. Feeny shows up and tells Cory it was stupid to "dive alone" and orders him to go home. It's never explained what Feeny was doing there.  Feeny Ex Machina indeed. 

                                      

Maybe Feeny captured a Plot Fairy, and now he uses its magical plot resolution dust to teleport around the Boy Meets World universe. Makes as much sense as anything else. I google image searched "plot fairy" and this was the first result, so they must be real. 

Cory walks home, I guess, and his parents were honestly worried for his safety. That seems like an overreaction to me. He wasn't actually diving... Are 13 year olds generally not allowed to swim by themselves? I think I was... Whatever. Mr. Feeny arrives, having found the silver gloves in the pool's filter. Cory returns his gift to his father saying that he doesn't deserve it, and wants it back as soon as Alan thinks he's ready. 

What was the lesson here? "Be careful with crappy birthday gifts in case your dad won them in the Navy?" My dad is in the Air Force, does this lesson still apply to me? And that first scene was really promising. It was like the golden breadsticks appetizer before the burnt grilled cheese main course. Like, burnt black, that shit is not even eatable. And the grilled cheese has peanut butter and jelly in it because they just weren't sure what kind of sandwich they wanted to make. But looooooooooooooord knows, your mom is gonna go get a knife and start trynna scrape the burnt-ness off the bread, "oh it'll be just as good, just gotta scrape this off". No it won't! IT'S RUINED! What was I talking about?

No one besides Alan and Morgan even seemed interested in the fact that it was Cory's birthday. Not even his mother gave him a "happy birthday". No mention of cake or a party or any other gifts or anything. There definitely was not a clear idea of what this episode was supposed to be when it was written. It's all over the place and I really didn't enjoy it at all.

0 for plot, 0.5 for character development since we learned a little more about Alan, 0.5 for humor, mostly thanks to the first scene, and 0 for life lesson.

1/4 and this might be the first episode without any Badges at all. 

See you Wednesday.

Clips and images used under Fair Use.

Episode 1x18 "It's a Wonderful Night"

Sounds like a Christmas episode but this season already had one so I dunno.

Judy Queen of Zits will be babysitting Cory and Shawn this evening, but they hatch a plan to focus her attention on pus related issues so they can watch I'm Blowin' Up Yer Head Part 6: Stumpy's Revenge ©.

Cory and his older brother banter in their room, it's kinda funny, and we learn that Eric is about to go take his driver's test. Eric looks pretty fly. Purple button-up shirts are top tier, yo. I wear them shits all the timeeeeeeeeeee.

Amy and Alan are going to some high profile event for people in the real estate biz. I was pretty sure we would never hear about Amy's real estate job again, so that's nice. Eric comes home from his driver's test, and since this happened at the beginning of an episode, there was really only one thing that could happen. 

Jason Marsden is here now, so it's automatically a good episode. His delivery and tone are all spot on again, and honestly he makes Will Friedle a better actor. Will just seems more comfortable with Jason than Ben Savage (Cory). I don't know if the friendship caused this, or this caused the friendship, but it makes sense either way. But even Jason Marsden can't fight the most perplexingly frequent wardrobe decision of this season. I think Eric is just as confused as I am.

The plan was for these half-sweatered gentlemen to go on a double date that evening, utilizing Eric's expected driver's license, but there's a Kennedy in that Krushchev since Eric failed the test. So they decide to lie to Alan. I think any parent on the Earth would immediately respond by asking to see the license, not out of suspicion but the same way you ask to see an award or a plaque or whatever. Alan doesn't though, so... here's a clip of Jason being funny.

                                      

Once more the audience doesn't laugh when I laugh. It's a point of pride for me, honestly. "Okay, that's just logic" was enough for me to burst. His voice is so perfect and I would keep gushing if I hadn't already in an earlier review. Alan decides to lend Eric his car keys. Eric and Jason act surprised. What exactly was their plan? What did they think they were going to drive for this date 10 seconds ago? Grand Theft Auto 6: Philadelphia? Anyway Judy Queen of Zits calls and cancels so Eric recruits Feeny to be the new babysitter.

We're 9 minutes in now and the actual story is just now starting. That's a bad sign.

This next bit you need to see for yourselves.

                                     

Ya like that, Rider Strong? Ya like lookin at that?

LOOKIN AT YOUR FUTURE??!!

(Rider Strong was in some bad horror movies. He tries to pretend they weren't bad. But they were bad.)

More importantly, what the fuck. They're less than two yards away from Feeny and Morgan, Feeny was positioned directly facing the television, and Cory changed the channel after Feeny was already fucking looking at the TV. It's like all those times your dad or your college roommate caught you watching porn but didn't wanna embarrass you so they pretended they didn't see anything. Except Feeny's not pretending. I don't know who could have possibly written this scene. Usually people like to say that Boy Meets World doesn't talk down to its audience, but that right there was a direct insult to my intelligence. Like enemy NPCs in stealth games, or Skyrim, or something. 

Eric got his father's car towed, so the next scene occurs at the towing place. This is the same set that will be used for some Hunter family mechanic shop in the future. Eric and Jason get trolled by their dates and then the girls leave to be rescued by some "junior with a Camaro", but not before the towing company guy tries to molest one of them. 

The hell was that. Mr. Feeny arrives to rescue Eric and learns that Eric doesn't have a license. Feeny orders Eric (and I do mean orders) Eric to go wait upstairs until Amy and Alan get home. Then we are once again assumed to be of amoeba-level intelligence.

                                     

Yes it is, George Feeny. Yes it is.

So the parents get home and everybody's in trouble. Shawn and Jason both bail on their respective best friend to avoid trouble. Is that the life lesson?

The Matthews brothers are both grounded for two weeks. Eric must spend that time studying for the driver's test, which is stupid because he didn't fail the written part of the test, he was just bad at driving. Cory must spend that time watching educational television, which is stupid because you have got to be fucking joking me.

This episode was written by Susan Estelle Jensen, who previously wrote a piece of shit (episode 5) and a Taco Bell (episode 10). ...Because, you know, Taco Bell isn't the best but it's... 

it's pretty good...

I don't know how I feel. There was a lot of junk and wasted time here, but I'd rather talk about what they did right. It goes back to what I talked about in episode 3, Feeny not having children. We got to see how old George can handle himself with various types of children and he does pretty well. His tea party with Morgan is funny and cute, and I can't think of a single other point in the series where we've seen that side of Feeny. He was also willing to help Eric and was really cool about the whole thing until he learned that Eric didn't have a license. We might have expected some "Oh Eric you moron how did you get towed", but instead we saw another new side of our favorite sixth grade teacher. On the other hand, he still knew how to be strict and firm when necessary. Aside from being completely blind and deaf toward I'm Blowin' Up Yer Head Part 6: Stumpy's Revenge ©, I think Mr. Feeny did a super swell job! Certainly deserving of a character development badge. 

What the hell did any of that have to do with "It's a Wonderful Life"? Is that title referring to something else? I don't get it.

Gonna go ahead and say 0 for plot, 0.5 for humor (thank you Jason Marsden), 1 for character development, 0 for life lesson. 

It's a real shame, too. This could have been fantastic if the story were centered on Feeny experiencing the trials of parenthood. Now that I think about it, I can't believe there ISN'T an episode exploring that. Not one. This is as close as it gets, and they just barely scratched the surface. Can you even imagine? I should write the script myself, dammit. That's such a good idea.

This gif is unrelated but I wanted to include it.

Karma, bitch.

1.5/4

Seeeeeeeeeeee you Monday.

Clips and images used under Fair Use.

Episode 1x17 "The Fugitive"

Yup. It's THAT episode. Probably one of the most remembered episodes of the first season. Whether or not that's a good thing, we'll find out. It was written by Jeff Sherman, who also wrote episode 2. If you're hoping for a Harrison Ford joke, you'll be disappointed.

It's storming outside and Cory, realizing that he can't go play baseball like he wanted, goes up to his room to discover a very damp Shawn. I assume we're supposed to be taking this scene seriously since the audience doesn't laugh, but I mean... look at him. Shawn constantly runs his hands through his hair, but now, when it's actually physically blocking his vision, he just leaves it there? His clothes are unusually dark and he even tells Cory not to turn on the light. The whole scene is a laughably transparent attempt to set the mood.

The first thing Cory does after the title sequence is turn on the light. Shawn instructed him maybe 5 seconds ago not to do that, but it seems they've both forgotten. Shawn takes off his dark jacket to show us a bright yellow shirt and then pushes back his bangs. It took less than 10 seconds to undo all of the mood setting that I was just talking about.

Whatta we doin 'ere, Jeff Sherman? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL!??!?!??

Shawn confides in his best friend that he blew up a U.S. mailbox (you know, those little blue metal ones) outside Alan's grocery store with a cherry bomb. This has been in the back of my mind for several years, I guess it's finally time to look up "cherry bomb" on Wikipedia. Ok, well they're illegal in Canada, but so is FREEDOM, so who cares! There's even a "Popular Culture" section of that Wikipedia article, but it has no mention of Shawn Hunter. Time to fix that! 

Bam. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cherry_bomb#Popular_Culture

Look at me. Contributing to the zeitgeist. 

Why did Shawn blow up the mailbox, you ask? He found matches on the ground and lacked the impulse control necessary to not light the fuse on an object called a "cherry bomb". 

IT HAS THE WORD "BOMB"

IN THE FUCKING NAME. COME ON.

Cory agrees to grant Shawn asylum for a few days and hijinx ensue as it's suddenly time for dinner. This is odd, since Cory wanted to go play baseball only a few minutes ago. 

It's all pretty funny and ultimately Eric discovers his new roommate. Cory bribes his brother into secrecy by agreeing to take over his chores. Explosions, lying, bribery... We're seeing the dark sides of our heroes today.

Time for school.

                                   

How do all these people know about the mailbox AND that Shawn is a suspect? Were there witnesses on the scene who were able to identify this 12 year old? That seems likely. Mr. Feeny starts reading The Tell Tale Heart to the class, which is a nice touch. Boy Meets World loves to relate its plot elements to literary themes, and it's usually done well. We first saw it in episode 8 with The Diary of Anne Frank and that was a great episode.

Later, Alan is interrogating Cory in Cory's bedroom. It's clear that Alan knows Shawn is hiding under the bed. I hope this is an intentional parallel to the heart being hidden under the bedroom floorboards in Tell Tale Heart. 

Alan gives Cory a speech about how "you can always come home", but he's really just trying to tell it to Shawn. 

After Alan leaves, Cory and Shawn argue over how to proceed. Cory thinks it best to involve his parents and calls Alan back upstairs, but Shawn escapes through the bedroom window. Now Cory has to talk to his parents about what's happened. Turns out everyone knew all along, including Morgan and Shawn's parents. Why in the name of Nidaba the Sumerian Goddess of Writing did this episode have to be written? What the FUCK kind of parenting is going on in this episode? 

Shawn has added trespassing to his list of no-no's by camping out in Feeny's classroom, where Feeny does indeed show up and offer some words of wisdom.

                                  

Why was Mr. Feeny out of breath the whole time? Look, honestly, I want to take this scene seriously. I really want to. But look at Shawn. He's been wearing Cory's clothes the whole episode since he's been staying in Cory's room, and it just looks ridiculous. I can't even pay attention to what's going on. It's the same problem when he argues with Cory right after Feeny leaves. What a fucking terrible decision. Unless, and this is strictly desperation talking, it's trying to be artsy by saying "see how ridiculous you'll end up looking if you make bad decisions?", but no one would believe that.

The show ends with Cory convincing Shawn to go home but it's so bad that I just don't even care. I can't care. I'm drained. I've been trying to write this all afternoon and I keep getting distracted because this episode is fucking terrible. This review is fucking terrible. For the first time so far, Boy Meets World is being genuinely preachy, and it's not at all fun to watch or write about. And we have to come back next episode and pretend that Shawn isn't a domestic terrorist. It would have better if they did this as the season finale. 

It's particularly difficult because while this episode is a shit-tornado, it's also important. The reckless bad-decision-machine + reasonable safety-net friendship dynamic is pretty central to the series, at least for the first few seasons, and this episode really sets that in motion. It's critical character development. I have to give it the badge and that makes me angry.

I hate this episode. I have always hated it. The premise is ridiculous, the actors know it's ridiculous, and I just don't want to think about it anymore. The only part that kept me sane here was the 10 seconds of Tell Tale Heart, but it wasn't really ever mentioned again, and its theme isn't properly represented. The guy in Poe's story goes mad over the guilt, but Cory isn't ever overcome with guilt, he didn't even do anything wrong. Shawn doesn't feel guilty either. He's just being whiny and annoying. Everything about this is wrong. 

0 for plot, 1 for character development, 0.25 for humor, 0 for life lesson.

1.25/4 and a big middle finger from yours truly.

If I haven't burned down my apartment, I'll see you Friday.

Fair Use or some shit.

Episode 1x16 "Risky Business"

Mr. Feeny has given the students an assignment where they invest $1000 of imaginary money and... I don't know... see how it goes? It's a great setup since, after all, Mr. Feeny is their Investment Finance professor and 12 year olds need to know this stuff. Minkus made a bunch of money in the stock market with Topanga as his partner and Team Cory/Shawn (Corwn? Shory? Idk) has done no work.

I'm not sure why these gifs always freak out when white is in the background. Makes it look like one of those shitty sneaker commercials from the 90s. You know what I'm talking about. Like this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2GhJ3jkwfw

Minkus is being smug after class and the two teams decide to bet on who can make the biggest return on 10 dollars of real startup money. This clip is noteworthy because it marks the first time in the series that Topanga made me laugh.

Wait a minute... Wuh... Wuh wuzzat guy doin in the back of the frame there... 

Who... what's he... is.. is he playin his Game Gear or somethin? Just sittin in a window sill playin, I dunno, Sonic the Hedgehog, on his Game Gear? 

That's hysterical, he's totally playing a Game Gear in a window sill next to a garbage can. Ahahaha, oh wow, Game Gear Bonus Badge. You know, that is a flagrant misrepresentation of that device. The Game Gear eats through batteries faster than the actors work through this scene. It never would have made it. He probably has the trash can on hand so he can throw out his Game Gear when he realizes it's a piece of shit. Also there was a slight miscommunication between the wardrobe people and Common Sense because Shawn is wearing like eight shirts again.

Anyway Shawn's idea was to bet their money on horses via his uncle Frank. While waiting for the results of the race, Shawn reads a Valentine's card placed by Alan for Amy to find, and in doing so correctly pronounces the word "rendezvous", which is astonishing. 

The boys' horse wins, netting them 99 bucks. They celebrate with their native mating dance.

Ya gotta love that. I also want to mention that there's a really annoying laugh in the audience during this episode. Listen for it if you watch this one.

Our heroes decide to use this story for their class assignment. Minkus is salty and calls shenanigans, but Mr. Feeny is surprisingly supportive. Remember how much of a bastard he was about Cory's dream of playing for the Phillies back in episode 9? I was expecting something similar here and I'm glad I was wrong. As always, Boy Meets World keeps us on our toes. Mr. Feeny uses their results to point out the "high risk high reward" nature of free enterprise, which is very true and very important. 

That's some fine teaching, Feeny. 

Some... Feeny teaching, fine...

...Finey teaching... feen.... 

Cory and Shawn decide to take their luck and push it, push it, to the limit, limit. And they win! $680, or in modern terms, 0.68 bitcoins. That's fuckin bookoo bucks for a 12 year old. (TIL "bookoo" is a bastardization of "beaucoup". That makes so much sense.) Shawn has moved up to nine shirts. 

Shawn leaves to go buy a pizza at 12 minutes and 38 seconds into the episode. Morgan wants Cory to fulfill his babysitting duty of providing entertainment. But then... Shawn... calls... 

                    

                                      

That clip starts at 13 minutes 35 seconds. It took Shawn less than one minute to go from Cory's bedroom to Bob Stoopchek's Pizza World. Now just solve for the hypotenuse of the... parabola integral... adjust for relativity... and we get that that's impossible.

As soon as Cory's gone, Morgan's childhood cuteness is once again exploited by the writers as she does the most cringe worthy dance I've ever seen, which drives the audience wild. Overcome with the excitement of dancing to shitty funk-jazz, this happens:

Need to throw up? That's fine, I'll wait. Looks like Morgan owes her brother six cupcakes. The breakaway door does actually shatter, but it's hard to see in the gif. The pot is clearly glued to that stand though. Shoulda glued the stand to the floor while they were at it. That's why I always use Elmer's™  © glue. Gee whiz, it sure is the best! =D

Cory and Shawn return with their signed baseball cards and notice that the side door is broken and that Morgan is missing. Cory figures she's been kidnapped. Drastic, but understandable. He finds his sister in the tree house and over-acts the fuck out of his guilty apology speech. Cory takes responsibility and tells Morgan he's going to pay to fix the door. Good for you Cory, there's some character development. 

Mr. Feeny announces that the "Matthews Hunter Consortium" was the most successful corporation. That's a good name, and "consortium" is a cool word, but "Shory" is easier to type.

Not your proudest moment, Minkus, and Sarcastic Feeny strikes again, completely stealing the scene. So Cory and Shawn never face repercussions for betting on horses. Neither Mr. Feeny nor Cory's parents find out about it. Their winnings all go toward fixing the door, but they've still got those signed baseball cards. Seems like a solid net gain to me. "Don't gamble what you can't afford to lose" is good advice, but I'm really not a fan of how they're trying to sell it. Morgan was an idiot and broke a door. That could have happened with the entire family home, it has nothing to do with gambling. And Cory didn't actually lose anything, he only thought he did for a couple minutes. Maybe that's the message, "Nothing really bad is going to happen if you gamble, but you need to stay responsible." I can dig that. This episode was written by Ken Kuta. His only other episode was 12, which I liked, but I actually had the same thought about that episode's life lesson: "Good lesson presented poorly." 

 Presumably you all want these gifs as much as I did, so here they are.

If you want other parts of that scene, or these two without the text, let me know and I'll whip it up for you. 

The story was fun to watch. It's extremely unusual for risky and illegal activities to work out in these shows so it kept me guessing right through the end. I kept thinking "Yeah okay, when do they lose everything and get lectured...", but that never happened. Right on. 1 for plot. There was a lot of funny stuff, but just as much unfunny stuff, so 0.5 for humor. Cory showed genuine self-motivated responsibility, so 1 for character development. Good life lesson presented poorly, so 0.5 there.

3/4 with two Badges and a Game Gear Bonus Badge.

Thanks for reading! See you Wednesday. 

Clips and images used under Fair Use.

Episode 1x15 "Model Family"

Mr. Feeny is showing an episode of Leave it to Beaver to the class, probably because the copyright has expired and ABC can get away with it. The scene starts with the ending scene of the Beaver episode, which is kind of meta when you think about it. Mr. Feeny leads into the plot for this episode by citing a 1950s census which indicated that the model American family had a mother, a father, and two children. A quick Google search determined that was a fib. The average number of children in a household was less than 1.5 for every year of the 50s.

This misinformation is used to set up the next assignment for the students.

Cory's use of "nerd-o-rama" mirrors Shawn's exclamation of "surprise-o-rama" in the previous episode, and I stand as bewildered now as then. Maybe it was funny 20 years ago, I don't know.

After the title sequence, we're at the mall with Eric and his buddy Jason. This is Jason's first appearance and it's incredibly exciting for me. He's played by this fellow, Jason Marsden.

Where do I begin! Jason Marsden is one of my favorite voice actors. He's a skilled screen actor as well, due in no small part to that award winning grin, pictured above. He has an extensive (and still growing) IMDB page, so I'll refer you there to really understand how awesome Mr. Marsden is. Some highlights are Max from the Goofy movies, Chase Young from Xiaolin Showdown, Noel from Final Fantasy 13-2, and more recently he was one of the spirits in those two flashback episodes of Legend of Korra a few weeks ago. But his best role, by FAR, was Craig Boone in Fallout: New Vegas. Boone is one of the most well-designed and captivating characters in the history of video games, and Marsden brings him to life flawlessly. Jason Marsden Bonus Badge muthafuckas.  

                                          

Listen to that voice. It's silk. It's a river made of silk. Why doesn't the audience laugh after he says "It's a game"? I thought that was hilarious.

Anyway, a talking pair of legs cons Eric into paying $90 for a modeling portfolio. The whole scene is really funny. Friedle and Marsden are fantastic together on screen and are actually best friends in real life, which makes my heart sing. It's a crippling shame that Jason disappears after Season 2. 

We're in Cory's kitchen now and the gang are learning how to be each other's model family member. Topanga wants Cory to practice Native American spiritualism and Cory calls her "Little Big Hair", which is another one of those smart jokes that make you love this show. Eric comes home and regales the young'ins with the story of his afternoon, but they point out that Eric has been scammed. Cory informs his parents and Amy thinks they should let Eric sort out his own mistakes, to which Alan reluctantly agrees. Their patience appears to pay dividends as Eric tells them that he knows he fucked up and is going to the mall to get his money back.

To our surprise, it turns out that the "modeling agency" actually got a gig for Eric that pays $50. Eric breaks the news to his parents and concurrently quits his job at his father's store. Alan tries to restrain himself, and gives us the fourth facepalm of this episode. 

                                     

Now it's time for the kids to deal with their family crisis in class. It's about three minutes long, but every moment is genius so I'll just post it and then we can talk about it. 

                                    

Shawn remarks that he does a good geek impression, but what's more fun is that he's doing a great Minkus  impression. The breaks in his sentences, the constant nodding... It's a perfect imitation of how Lee Norris plays Minkus and I love it. Minkus does a pretty funny job too, I just wish I could make out what his name tag says. It doesn't look like "Stuart" or "Minkus" or "Shawn", so I wonder what it could be... Topanga doesn't really sound like Cory. I'm not sure what she's trying to do here except be aggressive, but Cory's not even an aggressive person so I don't get it. The biggest flaw in this scene lies with the audience for not erupting into hysterics at "A person's body is his temple." I distinctly remember watching this for the first time with my sister, and we both died. Look at Cory's face while he says it. It's completely perfect. And we even get our little life lesson about families at the end. This is definitely one of the top five scenes of the first season.

So that's done, time to resolve Eric's story. He and Jason are at the mall for Eric's photo shoot, along with Eric's new groupies. Their chemistry is fantastic yet again.

We learn that Eric's gig is actually to wear a lobster costume and sit in a dunk booth above what is supposed to be melted butter. Jason dunks him. Who wouldn't, honestly. That lobster costume is pretty fantastic.

Eric begs his father to give him his job back. Alan gives him a lesson about being a responsible adult, and ultimately Eric settles for a weekend nightshift position. 

This was a wonderful episode. Good laughs the whole way through, and a fun story. And Jason Marsden. I thoroughly enjoyed writing this review and I think that's reflected in my writing (in stark contrast to the other reviews this week). It's interesting how polarized the first season has been. I either have a ton of comments and clips and pictures, or I think to myself "What the fuck can I possibly say about this monstrosity." Thankfully it was the former this time. I hope you had as much fun as I did. 

1 for plot, 1 for humor, 1 for character development since Cory learned about fatherhood and Eric learned about adulthood, and .75 for the life lesson. I'd really like to give a perfect score, but the life lessons here just weren't as strong as some of the earlier ones. The duo that wrote this episode, Ed Decter+John J. Strauss, also wrote episode 9 which did get a perfect score, as well as episode 7 which was a piece of smelly garbage. Looks like they got the hang of it after their first attempt and their last episode is number 20, so let's look forward to that.

3.75/4 with 3 Badges and a Jason Marsden Bonus Badge. This is a must watch episode.

See you Monday!

All clips and images used under Fair Use.